Mobile Armored Podcast Show

Buddy Hawks, Loincloth Enthusiast

• Adam Moore and PJ McNerney • Season 1 • Episode 9

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We don't even know where to begin with the glorious trainwreck that is M.A.S.K.'s "The Oz Effect." Watch in awe (or horror) as VENOM's theatrical slave-labor scheme goes hilariously awry, complete with fake cobras and a tornado machine that would make the Wizard of Oz blush. Meanwhile, Buddy Hawks takes cultural insensitivity to new lows, and dares to bare it all in a loincloth. Buckle up for a no-holds-barred roast of lazy writing, ridiculous disguises, and over-the-top villainy. If you’re ready for a brutally honest and side-splitting critique, this is the episode you don’t want to miss!

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pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Okay, pump

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

let's see how it goes. Hey, hi, It's a

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

everyone

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

All right, here we go. In three, two Welcome to the Mobile Armored Podcast Show, the podcast that transforms into an egg shaped scooter. My name is Adam Moore, alongside my co host PJ McNerney. How are you doing, PJ?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I'm doing well today man doing very well. Yeah I'm both amused and a bit bemused by this episode because I we're coming off a, an amazing episode. The Tex fantastic. Best we've seen so far, and we're now hitting the Oz effect.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

complete opposite. of the high quality we saw in the Rotex episode.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

We had a lot of world expanding in that episode. A lot of stuff was grounded, it made sense and you know what? The racism was pretty limited.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Don't think we had a real nominee for the Buddy Hawks award.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Hmm. Hondo.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Well, That's true, We did have Hondo. I should start listening to our podcasts.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

But, let's be honest. That was, like, of things that have been egregious so far, that definitely was on the lighter side in Rotex. little bit different here in the Oz Effect, however.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Indeed. And uh, before we go on, of course, I want to say hi to all our fans listening out there from all around the world. And I do know that we have some Australian fans out there, so this episode is right up your alley. It's episode 9, The Oz Effect. Venom uses a strange vortex machine to abduct a village of Australian aborigines and forces them as slaves to mine valuable crystal. I think right there is our It's our first Buddy Hawks nominee.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

tagline is our Buddy Hawks nominee.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

We have aborigines being used as slaves. Right there. We're not in great shape. dive in.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I do wanna call out one thing, Adam. I mean, You are married to an Australian A and as much as you will sometimes call upon my engineering knowledge to ask certain questions, I'm definitely gonna be leaning on you for answering some accuracy questions regarding the portrayal of the Australians here.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

I am prepared to stand in for the Australian people.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Okay, let's do it

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Okay, we open on an island in the middle of nowhere. It's a jungle, and there are these half naked tribespeople Celebrating with drums, dancing around a giant pile of food While a blonde white woman says The natives have celebrated their harvest season for thousands of years a sign of thanks to the food gods

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

right off the bat. I was like, wait, what? And I had this theory that this woman doesn't actually know what she's talking about. She's just making shit up for her documentary because I'm not sure she knows anything about these people.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

There's something about just colonialism, cultural colonialism, about this very blonde white woman talking about these native people and their strange customs. First of all, present day aborigines do not live like this. They also don't look like this. We'll put that aside. They don't have any sort of like Mayan esque temples like we see in this episode. So I don't know, sometimes masks seem like they go back in time. To an era where there are these native tribes just running around. At least with the Snow Eagle family, back in an earlier episode, they were wearing relatively modern clothes until one particular scene. Here we have a second, time that we're seeing the Native people just in loincloths. It's real National Geographic here, and not at all accurate.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

As a, kind of a note that just occurred to me, she's a very pale white woman,

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yes.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

which means that she hasn't been in the sun very long, which means she must have just arrived and is just like, Oh this is what I think they're doing.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

While all this is going on, from out of nowhere comes a high priest. Out of a temple. And he says, On your knees, the wind god is angry, beg for mercy. So right off the bat, we know from my bad impression, but from the show itself, that it is our good friend, Slyrax, dressed up as a native priest, which becomes our second nominee for the Buddy Hawks award. The blonde woman even says, I've never seen anything like this. And then this tornado appears and it takes all the people away from the village.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

of the things is that I love that Slyrax doesn't pretend to change his voice at all. Like he's not a master of disguise. Or maybe he is Venom's master of disguise and he's just bad at it. It's like these people, understand English. even though they're portrayed as extraordinarily primitive, they understand Sly Rax's, you know, fifties beatnik, nomenclature.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yeah, that's so weird, isn't it? They understand English.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Yeah, again, because of how they're portrayed, especially later on in the episode. And then, did he steal this getup from the people or did he just show up in it? Did they just randomly pick some stuff up?

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

It looks like he bought some stuff from World Market that you would hang on the wall and just use that as his costume.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

This really points to like this theatrical bent that Miles Mayhem has. We've seen it a few times now. Yeah.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yes, and uh, you know, spoiler alert, the tornado is caused by a Venom vehicle, this giant, giant Venom vehicle that PJ, you and I talked about, it could be like an Autobot transport from Transformers. I mean, This thing is huge and high tech, it couldn't have come out of Robotech. This is some big deal technology. All? To get a bunch of native tribes people to become slaves for mining things. He is very theatrical is the point that he would go through all of this effort when probably all he needed were a few laser blasts from Piranha to get these people in line. Instead he builds this giant machine that must've cost a billion dollars to build that no wonder he needs so much money.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

It's fascinating. We're seeing this trend with venom where they build incredibly useful devices. Like the UFO from the first episode, the earthquake machine, the tornado machine now, which they could sell for billions of dollars.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yeah.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Don't.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

What do you think Venom's R& D budget is? Oh,

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Miles is like, no, we're going to use this to steal some aboriginal people so I can enslave them. Miles, I could just, I could make a boring machine if you wanted, like it wouldn't be that hard. It's way easier than the tornado machine. No! It has to be this way. I've already hired out my henchmen.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

We'll talk about the henchmen, actually, in a little bit. But! As we pointed out, it is Sly Max underneath the mask. And he removes his mask and He speaks into a, like a hidden, hidden microphone. And he says, you were right. It worked like voodoo magic. And then he laughs uproariously like he always does. And right there, another vote for the Buddy Hawks award for Sly Rax.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

What's amazing is that to date, Venom had successfully avoided getting in on the racism game. And not anymore. And then less than five minutes in, not only has he like showcased cultural appropriation of this particular tribe, voodoo is also a Haitian thing. It's like, all right, let's just offend everybody at this point in time. So it's they're making up for lost time, I guess.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

the writer of this episode, after having watched Rotex, and being very disappointed with the lack of cultural appropriation, said, Hold my beer. I got this. I'm bringing Mask back to where it belongs.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

And we're four minutes in, we're four minutes in.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

We cut to the tracker mansion where Matt is listening to the tape recorder that was left behind by this scientist whose name is Sarah after the tornado. And he's listening to the the recording of Sly saying voodoo magic. And there's this guy in there with him in a three piece suit and he's saying that he arrived late for the harvest celebration. And says, Sarah was already there studying tribal culture under your most generous grant. And Matt responds, thank you, Dr. Clay. Most kind of you. So I have questions about where he met the Sarah person, I can guess based on where he meets generally his blonde female scientists. But I digress.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Here's a time check, so we're going to make the presumption because that's what was stated in the tagline. This is happening somewhere in Australia and they're listening to a physical tape. So assuming that. Tape was acquired just after the Harvest Festival and then they left immediately Let's say they like the airport was right there, There's no travel time It's like 16 hours if assuming there exists a direct flight from there to Colorado If it's so important, they did have satellites or even telephones. They could have just played the tape over the phone. was like, you know what? I think I'm just going to, mosey on down. So we're talking like. Over half a day, best case scenario, probably a couple days and it's like, Oh yeah, Matt, I'm pretty worried about this. Why the fuck didn't you call?

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

But also the guy says, under your most generous grant,

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Yeah. What kind of sycophant thing is this? Is this like Matt needs this from everybody?

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

This village, it turns out, is the third that's been hit by a storm in the last few days. And all the villagers are gone. And the guy in the three piece suit says, and now Sarah. And Matt says, don't blame yourself. Because it's true, it's really Matt's fault. He funded the mission. He sent Sarah down there.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

It's actually, we could probably draw a line maybe to say that, is it possible, in, in kind of a, first episode Amanda Stevens way that he suspected venom was down there. So he actually funded this in order to like, get a person on the ground.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

You make a very good point. That instead of sending a mask operative, he uses innocent people. As his eyes and ears around the world.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

and we're no authorities contacted about this. It's still like this dude coming to Matt to solve a problem. Oh, I should go to the Australian government. Maybe. Nope. I'm going to this billionaire. I know. Do

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

away by plane.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

think there was like weird conditions associated with the grant? If anything weird happens don't go to the authorities. No come directly to me

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Do not call me on the phone. Do not transmit anything by satellite. You must take the cassette tape on a flight. Do you have a jet waiting for us? No, you must take commercial. Anyways, Matt takes the tape into the computer room and it reveals it was Venom based on an isolation of Slyrax's voice. You'd think Matt could probably have Figured that out himself just listening to it, but guess what? It's the agent selection scene. So first up. Bruce Sato, mechanical engineer and design specialist, vehicle codename Rhino. So he's playing with a toy car on a racetrack. He gets the call and then just drops the remote and runs away as the toy car plummets off the track to its doom.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Yeah. It's interesting. Bruce's exit scenes have always been the lowest stakes of anything we've ever seen.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

He's a toy designer except for the one where he stole the toy plane out of the sky and handed it to two, two children,

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

it's true. That's like the one time he endangered somebody else. Probably.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Next up you guessed it, it's Alex Sector computer and communications expert, rhino Systems commander. He's sitting at a, at a desk in a very British looking study, and he's feeding a bird on his shoulder while other birds in cages watch And then. The watch goes off and they cut to that close up. Did you notice how hairy his arms are?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

did.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

They went out of their way to show how hairy Alex's arms are. But then he just puts the bird on a shelf and runs away. And I just want to note again that all the other birds are safely in their cages while this exotic one is left to just fend for itself.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Unlike Bruce, where endangerment is rare, Alex is all about, he hates animal safety or human safety around said animals, but he just can't be bothered.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Next up, McClain! Weapons specialist, technical strategist. Firecracker is his vehicle, as we all know. So he's in a library, but just like reading a periodical, like reading a magazine. He gets the call and he gets up and runs away, and then this librarian is revealed? Who is standing behind him? And she just gets super pissed off. I'm very confused about what actually happened there. I don't know. Yeah.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

and then when he leaves, she's standing up and is pissed off. And I only had two theories. One of which was like, Hondo frequently does this, just leaves a shit on the table and doesn't put it away. Or he had promised to take her out on a date. Maybe both. I don't know because this is not the first time we've seen Hondo just hand off like we've had one where Hondo just hands a shit ton of books to somebody but let's point out though, like, How weird is it that librarian is like, staring at Hondo, sort of stalker esque right behind him. That's a little weird. Leave the man alone, he's trying to read his periodical. If he wants to ask you on a date, he will.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Next up. Buddy Hawks, intelligent expert and master of disguise, which will come into play in this episode, dear listener. So buckle up for that He's fixing a car as per usual, and he gets the call and just uh, runs off. At

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I don't think he likes working. It's

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

time.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

true. That's very true.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Slight improvement. Dusty Hayes, auto and marine stunt driver and pizza guy, vehicle code name Gator. He's about to eat a piece of pizza when he gets the call. And he gets the call and then he gets up and sadly leaves his pizza. Then he quickly rushes back into frame, grabs a slice with a boyish grin, and runs off. I honestly, I have no words about that. You need to see the look on his face when he grabs the pizza and runs off.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

It is a look of pure delight as he realizes he doesn't need to starve in that moment. But we've seen time and time again, like him run off, shirk his duties, but fuck it. This time he's going to have his slice.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Brad Turner's next. Motorcycle and helicopter pilot. Vehicle codename Condor. He's shopping for guitars and a guy is getting one off the shelf and then he gets the call and just runs away. And the guy is really confused. And all I can think of is, at least he didn't steal a guitar. Many a masked person might have done in that situation.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

just thrown money and stolen the guitar.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

We both know that Brad Turner does not have any money from his band.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

We haven't seen him with his band for a while now. Like we've seen him a couple of times alone in the studio. We've seen him just not he's not at a rave. No, no daytime concerts as of yet.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

No. Maybe they finally broke up. we have one more member of this massive team. It is Gloria Baker, champion race driver, black belt in Kung Fu, Team Hottie. She is driving some supercar across the desert and she's wearing like almost like a gas mask to provide oxygen. I assume in this wild supercar. She gets the call and then she just, Stops the car, jumps out, and starts running. And, again, Gloria, if you're in a rush, why not just take the supercar to Boulder Hill?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

yeah, we've seen this a couple of times where it's like she'll run out in the middle of traffic, probably abandoning her date. it's so weird. It was like, maybe she's at the end of her run and there's no gas in it, but it's, it

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

there's no support team. Anywhere. So for all we know, she got out of her car in the middle of the desert with no one around and just started jogging. So we have two different agents to look at here. On the one hand, we have Gloria who just jogs to Boulder Hill from wherever she's in the world versus Buddy who is at Boulder Hill, who abandons whatever he's doing and rushes right away. Uh, As I said though, this is a massive team. It's basically the entire Masked Force.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

It is, it's everyone we've seen to date

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Well, you know, We haven't seen yet Scott and T Bob. So T Bob is swimming laps in the pool testing Scott's mask and snorkel. And Matt comes out and tells him, hey, I got to go and Scott's bummed out because he wants to go to this tropical island to take pictures of fish for his school project. And Matt says, Somebody already took them for you. I wish that was the end of the line. Because I love the thought of Matt paying people to do Scott's schoolwork. I actually think that fits with how Matt operates. But also this is the first time we hear any mention of Scott getting an education.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

That's true.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Uh, At any rate, we learned that Matt is actually talking about encyclopedias is where he can find the pictures. Though that does feel like someone else is doing the work for Scott. Anyways, he promises Scott that he'll take him diving as soon as he gets back. But until then, I guess just like, fend for yourself?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

couple notes. One thing that just occurred to me. T Bob must be waterproof. And maybe establish this and at the earlier episodes where you go into water, because I'm like, oh yeah, if he gets water and electronics, he's fucked. and Let's give Matt some credit as a father here. He checked in with Scott before running off to another continent. That's, hey, better than what we've seen before.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yeah.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

be in danger, except for the fact he's being left alone by a pool unattended, except by his toy robot.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

I'd imagine Scott might know how to swim, but we don't know. He hasn't been taught a lot of other things. Uh, well, Matt hops into his subway car and says, Mask Headquarters. Once again, a good thing he told it where to go, because I don't think it goes anywhere else. And then we get to Mask HQ for the briefing. Turns out that three villages have been, quote, no pun intended, taken by storm, is what Matt says. That is a pun, and it's very insensitive considering what happened. I can think of probably five other ways to say that three villages have gone missing. Three villages have been savagely ruined. But at any rate, we learned that there's one tribe left that hasn't been blown away. Pun intended. Then Gloria asks, You think that's Venom's next target? And Bruce responds, angels give, take. Dusty has a fantastic response here. One more time and good old English partner. So here we have another nominee for the Buddy Hawks award. we got two strong contenders right now.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Yeah, This is a strong contender because I mean like Dusty's Accent and this might be me being offensive But he's clearly from the south and I'm sort of inferring from his upbringing. He would know about Angels and demons. They're fairly common common religious iconography. And Bruce isn't actually saying anything obscure here. There's not much in this Koan and he's also not saying anything insightful. He's basically like, Venom's bad.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Well, and now we have the sacred masking ceremony and a high dose of radiation for everyone around the table. And the mask team rolls out. And then we have like a two second shot of the giant mask jet making its first appearance in the show with no explanation whatsoever of what the shot is, who it belongs to. And it never returns in the show. Very confusing, but anyways, there it is. Now we know how they get to other continents.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Okay. So once again, let's time check on this. So what's the flight time from Denver to Australia?

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yeah, that's going to be, what is it to LA, two ish hours, then add your 15 to 16 on top of that. Let's just call it generous, like 17 hours.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Yeah. So 17, 18 hours to come from Australia, Give it a couple hours to get all the shenanigans together. Another 17, 18 hours back to Australia. We're talking like 36 to 40 hours, best case scenario at this point in time. When again, could have have that if we had just transmitted that shit by phone. Did anyone remember to bring a change of clothes? Or are they all just uncomfortably sitting in their uniforms for the entire fucking 18 hours?

We've got them in sight. Hold on. Mask will be right back. Now watch what Mask does.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

They arrive at the site of the village where Sarah disappeared. I think Glory is a little pissed off about Matt being on a first name basis with this Sarah woman.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

yeah, again, what is this game that they're playing between the two of them? Is she like, Matt can have his Sarah's and his Amanda's? But there's only one Gloria.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Just wait till the end of the episode, everyone. I'm telling you, there's a great moment in store in regards to that relationship. Dusty meets some tribespeople who are afraid of the wind god. And they say the Winds of the God took me to a bad city in the sky. Which, I'm gonna just pause right there for a second. these people must be from the 14th century. Because you could probably say like, they took me to some sort of room in the sky, or a vehicle of some sort in the sky? Have they never seen any kind of technology before? And if so, this is not Australia. there are not Aboriginal peoples in Australia who have not come into contact with what I'll call Western civilization. So I don't understand who these But anyways, Dusty's question is, Did you see a white woman? And then, this guy says, Yes, but now And Matt's response is, I know, she's in the city in the sky. He is so condescending.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

he is, he so is again easy Buddy Hawks Award nominee right here.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yeah, congrats Matt.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Here's one thing that struck me is if you look at Dusty's mask and suit when you first, I mean, I almost all of them, but really his especially, like how fucking scary is it?

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yeah, they were scared by Sly Rax in his world market mask that he wore. These are like, hardcore helmets.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Yeah. if I, as just me saw someone in that, I would think, there's a radiation leak somewhere. It is a pretty fucking serious, and these guys are actually more relatively cool with it than I would have expected.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

We cut to Miles, Cliff, Sly, and Vanessa, and they're camping! Like, how quaint! The whole Venom crew is out camping. And we learn they are shipping something to the mainland. But we don't learn what that is yet. But we do learn there's one more village to hit. And Sly says, You mean I get to play High Priest again? And they all laugh. Except for Vanessa, who just kind of smiles awkwardly. She knows what's going on here, and is not a fan.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

is not I you know, you sort of wonder Like how in Vanessa really is I think her level of able to take bullshit is pretty low Cuz you look at this. She's not laughing. She's like, oh Cannot believe I have to deal with these folks.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Now we cut to the mask team trying to figure out what to do next. And they go into this very 80s music video, Boxes where each of their faces are displayed as they're saying their lines of dialogue. And Bruce says, to catch a tiger, one must be its prey. And Matt says, good idea. that good idea is, Buddy Hawks, Master of Disguise, dressed as a native villager. Now my question to you, is he actually in head to toe brownface? I mean, Let me just reiterate the fact here. He is in full on loincloth. Revealing almost everything. Rambo style headband around his head. And I believe he is darker than he usually is. So is he actually head to toe brown face PJ?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

this much. He is very certainly bronzed. Yeah. And here's the thing I feel like where he's hitting it is like this like perfect spot where his disguise is offensive, but probably also ineffective. but there was only one possibility, cause I, I started looking at the later scenes in this, like, when he's first encountering the village. And, there's a lot of people who seem like they're either white or sort of white with, who have bronzed their bodies. So I'm like concerned that this is actually a bunch of white people who are just playing aboriginal. In which case, his disguise is spot on and the entire village earns a Buddy Hawks nomination. Now notice at this point in time that neither Hondo nor Alex have had any lines of the episode so far. So I have to believe they're like, this is wrong. Like even Alex with like his British colonialism background is like, no, is, nope. This is wrong. Matt, do not do this.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Sly shows up in his high priest outfit from world market, and he does the same old wind god on your knees, beg for mercy routine. And uh, Buddy plays along, and then speaks into his hidden microphone, Venom just corralled the villagers, you better get moving.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

This is great shot. And I feel like it has to go up on Instagram,

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yeah, everyone, check out our Instagram around the time that we published this episode and you'll see there is a shot that reveals pretty much everything for one of the villagers.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

there's a dude, and he's standing looking at Slyrax in High Priest outfit, and his bum's just hanging out. I just wanted to be like sir, could you cover your bum? You've got a lot of cloth there. It does not need to be hiked up that high.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Do you think Buddy is playing along? Or Do you think he's genuinely scared?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I don't know, either he's a good actor or he's genuinely scared, or he's like forgetting. Cause you know what, he could fucking jump Sly Rax if he wanted to.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yeah.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

pretty buff dude.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Well, now We cut to Mask, and we do another very cool scene, where we have these like, diagonal intercuts. of each of our agents with the masks being lowered onto their heads within the vehicle, which is actually pretty badass.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

It's an amazing fucking shot. It's incredible. And it's like, why is this wasted on this episode?

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yeah, I do, I noticed it actually, not for the first time, but it came to my attention again in this episode, that at mask headquarters, they charge their masks, They put them on their heads, they roll out, and then at some point between the moment they roll out and when they arrive on the scene, half the time they take their masks off, and then have some machine in the car put the mask on their head again. It's a little confusing for me.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

It was always confusing for me as a kid. Because the masks are bulky. They're fitting, over their head, and they're, like, it's almost like they're coming straight down. But, these vehicles don't have a deep enough roof for that. Excepting maybe Rhino, and Condor and Gator have no roofs, so where are these masks coming from?

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

We now reveal the giant flying fortress that Miles is piloting This is that tornado machine we talked about earlier that Miles could actually make a billion dollars off of just selling. And on the ground, Sly and Cliff, they spot masks and they take up to stop them. And we've got a good old fashioned mask battle here. Matt transforms into flight mode. He fires a magnet missile that draws. An enemy missile away from Gator. Firecracker gets to use its blade wheel, But then Mask encounters the Tornado, and they all get, blown away. Very Wizard of Oz style. I expect you to see the Wicked Witch somewhere in there. And a cow. Now mask is scattered. The villagers have been taken. What's going to happen PJ.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I don't know!

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

We'll find out after these messages.

Mask will be right back, and so will Venom. Now back to math.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

And we are back, and we are at the deserted village. The mask team is in one piece, which is great. But Matt finds Buddy's tribal necklace slash communicator. And Gloria says, We've lost him. Wasn't that part of the plan all along? But anyways, Bruce's response is, A giant cannot hide. Okay. Let me just say, does he mean that Buddy is a giant amongst mask agents? Is respected that much? That he's a true giant of mask agents? Or the giant tornado machine?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Once again, this is like three misfires from Bruce this episode.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Absolutely.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I mean it's not a lot of, it's not very deep in terms of any of this stuff. I think Bruce might have the flu or something. He's, he is not himself. I'll say that much.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

So Matt says that he can use Spectrum to follow the ion trail of the tornado. Do tornadoes leave ion trails?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Yeah, I actually had to like look this one up. So I did do a little bit of research. So there was this misconception that like ions were one of the things that were used in the creation of winds. And it turns out actually you can actually generate wind using like electrons, electricity. There's actually today, like back in 2018, MIT flew a plane with no moving parts that was using this kind of concept of electric wind.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Oh, wow.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

We're on the edge here, but it's actually possible to create. Something that's using electricity to generate wind. So maybe they're using some electric machine to create the tornado.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Brilliant. Once again, I would think that Miles could spin that technology off for billions and billions of dollars.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

again, exactly like it's a lot of missed technological opportunities here. Hondo and Alex have lines in this scene

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Finally.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

and Alex is especially if you listen to it, he's like, maybe it will take us to the city in the sky. And buddy like, it's very wistful. And I'm like, when I heard that, I was like does Alex have a thing for buddy? Maybe? I don't know. It was very,

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

I'll tell you what, if you were going to develop a crush on Buddy, this is the episode that would do it, with him walking around in a loincloth. Because I'll tell you what, the dude is buff.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

He's jacked. He's

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

He's ripped, so I get it, Alex. So Matt says I'll check it out from the air, Brad is going to fly with him in Thunderhawk, and the rest of you follow along on land.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

yeah, Matt, we have to follow on land because none of our vehicles fly.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

As M. A. S. S. gets on with their mission, we cut to reveal, That the villagers have been enslaved and are being forced to mine something from this, giant uh, uh, hole in a mountain, something that Venom loves, we know, with giant holes in mountains. And uh, there's these red mohawk Venom henchmen that are guarding them. Like, where do these guys come from? They seem like they're, like, some 80s punk group that's short on cash and has to kind of moonlight as henchmen for Venom.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Yeah, it's like, all of them have the exact same outfits of this punk rock, studded leather, with red mohawks. Every single one of them.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yeah.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

My only two theories was basically yours, which is basically They hired a whole bunch of people that looked like that. Maybe because Miles saw Mad Max road warrior and it was like, Oh, that's what Australians look like. Or he just actually forces people to wear these uniforms because he thinks that's how you have to fit into Australia.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Look, he has a flair for the dramatic, as we know. That could be it. One thing I want to point out is, One of the henchmen Pokes Buddy, at one point, He says, keep moving, lowlife. Like, Lowlife? Of all the things he would say to I mean, look, I get it. At least it's not culturally insensitive. But, it's a bit odd.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

So I actually, I noticed this one as well, and it's when it's right after like Sarah like in her like little prison area and buddy stops to kind of look at her and it's just kind of like leering. I actually was with the henchman on this one like, keep your mind at your work low life get your mind of the gutter. Leave that lady alone. Or

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

indeed Sarah, and she's in a very weird type of prison. She's actually on a rock cylinder surrounded by a very deep pit, and the pit is filled with hissing cobras that I would imagine bite her should she try to escape. It seems a bit extreme. It seems like they could probably just tie her up, and put her in a corner somewhere, but There you have it. Rhino Firecracker and Gator are driving along and then suddenly Firecracker and Gator get stuck in quicksand. And uh, One of the Venom I think it's Cliff or someone says, I'd say they're gonna be stuck here for a while. And they all laugh. Once again, the happiest terrorists on Earth. Alex uses Jackrabbit to save Hondo. Bruce uses Lifter to save Gloria and Dusty. And then they use Rhino's wince to pull the vehicles out of the quicksand. Couldn't they just have used Lifter to pull the vehicles out? faster and more efficient.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

It almost sort of implies there's some limitation to Lifter in terms of what can do we're gonna see that blown open very soon We've also established in prior episodes where Rhino fires its anti matter Got like guns or anti gravity guns So it seems like we have a couple different options besides a winch,

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

just an old fashioned winch. But now, at one point the winch is about to snap. While Alex is holding it it snaps while Alex is holding it. And the solution is that Hondo uses Blaster to melt the winch back together with Alex holding it. So there's a lot of issues here. I'm concerned about how is Alex not handless after Hondo uses Blaster.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

So a couple of bits here. It's like the amount of force. It's the weight of Gator right now. In order to get Gator out, there must be an equal and opposite force through that winch. So unless they shut the winch down, that means that Alex has to hold with two hands twice the weight of Gator going in opposite directions, just from physics. So he's how much fucking strength does he have? And then since Hondo's melting it, and again, with precision enough not to hit his hands or fucking Alex's face it's gonna transmit heat along that metal cable. Which, at the very least, Alex would now have third degree burns.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

yet, somehow, miraculously, Alex is fine. Did you notice the exchange between Gloria and Alex, where Gloria says, Is it a trap by venom? And Alex says, who else would cover quicksand with leaves?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

maybe nature blew them over, Alex. Does it matter? Is it really a point of contention? Shouldn't we get to the battle? Yeah.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Anyways, we cut back to Buddy, enslaved and the henchman says, Back to work!

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

does the henchman notice that buddy slacks as much on this job as he does on every other job he does? Cause he has like hateful amounts of just vitriol for any kind of work. He like throws the stamps at someone. He tells the old people to like, Take it, take the bike, just like there's a lot of anger with work. And so I think the henchman's again in the right here.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Yeah, get to work, buddy. Look, no matter what it is you do, take pride in that work. Matt and Brad from above, they spot the enslaved villagers and realize it's emeralds that they're mining. Billions of dollars worth of emeralds. And Matt says, Venom and greed were made for each other. Okay, I mean there's a lot of lines that could have been written there, and we're gonna run with venom and greed were made for each other.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Yeah. I'm glad that's what you care about, Matt, not the enslavement of several tribes.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Exactly. It's not about the greed, it's about the human bondage that's happening down there. Matt finally sees the giant venom flying fortress. It's actually on the ground, it landed. And he fires two missiles at it. Which produce sonic waves. Designed to make it too painful for Miles to stay on board the fortress, which leads to me wondering Why not fire two missiles that, blow up the fortress?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Because then Miles would be dead, and the game would be over, huh?

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Thanks to Matt's sonic missiles Miles jumps off, but doesn't manage to turn the fortress off. So now the fortress takes off on its own and the wind kicks up And we got a tornado Boom generating flying fortress now roaming free across the land.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I had a real concern here. They explicitly comment that it's large enough to bring an entire village to the mines. Are there any henchmen still on board? Are there any villagers still on board? I don't see any kids in the mines, so I'm a little concerned.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

There are probably hundreds of people on board this fortress. So keep that in mind, dear listener. Meanwhile. Buddy jumps into the pit to save Sarah, and it turns out that the snakes were just robots, so they would never have bitten anybody. And Buddy explains that rattlesnakes are only found in the Americas. These are Venom's toys. He like, he breaks one in half and says, let's go. And Buddy, half naked, carries her out of there, officer in a gentleman style. And I'm like, they're totally doing it after this. Am I right?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

they are. They are completely doing it. And you're saying half naked. And I really feel like we should probably preface this and saying there he's 90 percent naked. Okay. And once again, we're going to have another shot basically that just shows the bottom of his butt clef.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

It's the whole thing. It's, yeah.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

cartoons we watched. Okay. Like we're not making this shit up. Like it was on television. It was rated G.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Why was this necessary? You will all see on and just ponder with me. Why was this necessary? The shot could have been cheated down a little bit more. The loincloth could have covered his ass. But it doesn't.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I could have figured out some way for him not to go undercover in a really racist costume. There's so many different choices here, but this is what we're left with. Folks.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

There is now a trivia question out there name the mask agent whose ass you have seen. And that now exists out there because of this shot. Was it Matt Tracker, Hondo McLean, Gloria Baker, or Buddy Hawks? Anyways, we go into our second mask vehicle battle, and there are plenty of chances for Mask to take out Venom. And Miles is so frustrated that he fires at his own giant fortress, which sends it careening down towards all the people. What is going to happen?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I don't know, I'm so scared.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

We're going to find out after these messages.

Mask doesn't know what it's getting into. We'll be right back. Now back to mask and venom.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

And we're back. And when we left you, A giant fortress was about to fall from the sky and crush all sorts of uh, villagers. However, Bruce Sato uses Lifter to lift the entire giant fortress into the sky over a mountain and into the ocean. If Lifter is that powerful, he should probably use it more often.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

What's incredible is again, from a physics standpoint, it has to be using something like anti gravity. otherwise, the amount of force that would be transmitted of the amount of tonnage would be directly transmitted to Bruce's neck. he's going to the chiropractor after this one. I'll tell you that much. Yeah.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

So now this fortress goes into the ocean, and we see it sink and sparks are flying, and then it explodes in such a way that it's quite clear it is nuclear powered. that is an underwater nuclear test type explosion that goes off.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

It is. And again, this brings up that question we talked about earlier. Is there anyone still on board?

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

We saved all the male villagers. Cool! And the women and children? Who?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Also, I mean, if that was the vehicle used to transport all these people, presumably a good distance away, how are they getting the villagers back to their villages? Have they got a caravan and mask or is Matt leaving them there?

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Guess what? Venom escapes. I don't know how they get off the island, but anyways, they do. I don't know how a helicopter a motorcycle, and a Ford Bronco get off this island, but they do.. Mask arrives, the whole team shows up out of their vehicles and Matt in full uniform and helmet, mind you, he approaches Sarah and he says, Sorry it took us so long, Sarah. And there's a couple things I need to point out. First, did you notice how he kinda goes in for a hug, but then stops just short of it? and I feel like Gloria is right there, like right behind Sarah. And if the aura mask can glare, it is glaring in that moment. He's about to hug her, he's like, Oh, Just a polite handshake will do, thank you. Second though, he's in full mask disguise and he uses her name. Does she know who he is? Because she sure seems to in that moment. She's not like, thank you, whoever you are for saving me. She's like, oh yeah, cool. Matt and his mask came and saved me. So I'm very confused.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

From episode one, we know that Matt is interested in, in unusual situations. So yes, Sarah recognizes him in his mask.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Matt continues apologizes for being late. He says, Better late than never. And everyone laughs. Including the tribe pe like the tribe's people. It's like, Well, at least they could all laugh about that period of time during which they were enslaved by the white man. Boy.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Here's the thing you can have it one of two ways. You can have it that there are like the aboriginal people are today. They are actually quite modern. They understand English well. And they would get this joke, okay? They have not been portrayed that way.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

No.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

So the only other way to have it is they don't know what's going on. They're terrified of these masked people. And they're just like, we better laugh just in case. Because we don't know what's gonna happen next. So I think it's a little terrifying for them. And it's like they just trying to survive. Like they've had really traumatic experiences over the last several days.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

And That's where we leave it because we fade to black and go right into the more, you know, sequence. So Scott and T Bob are cooking breakfast to survive dad. In the more, segment, sorry, let me try

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I don't know. That might be a Freudian slip there, sir.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

think that's a good Freudian slip? Scott and T Bob are cooking breakfast to surprise dad. Which is how they survive dad, in other words. But certainly Scott will do anything to earn his father's love, huh? So the toaster is taking too long, and T Bob sticks a fork in it, and he gets like royally executed. I mean, He's like, in the air, you're seeing his robot skeleton and everything. And Matt runs in like, what's going on? And realizes what happened, and Matt's actually really pissed off. He's like, uh, T Bob, you're made out of electrical circuits. You should know better than that.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

He's really pissed.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

he's really pissed, and Scott says, yeah, if you were a person like me, you could have been electrocuted. Or hurt seriously. But you're not a person like me, T Bob. As you well know, T Bob, you're not alive. Both Matt and Scott just make T Bob feel like a piece of crap here.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

really do. It's like, what is this recurring trope where like T Bob keeps getting the message? You're not sentient. You're not alive. You don't matter.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

So look that's how we end the episode. Let's double click on the Buddy Hawks award because we have some major contenders here. I think we can narrow it down to Slyrax as the priest. In his voodoo magic and Buddy Hawks going undercover and presumably head to toe brownface. Thoughts, BJ?

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

mean look I would love to solely award this to SlyRax as the first one to get it on the Venom team, But Let's be honest here, this episode was so over the top, I think it's a tie. I think Slyrox gets it great job? Question mark, Venom? And Buddy Hawks gets his own award

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Well, you Vote for the tie here. I'm actually gonna go to Buddy. I'm gonna give it to Buddy, his namesake, His namesake award. And I think it's only because he commits. So hard to going native. He's wearing nothing under that loincloth. As we see in several shots. The brown face is absolutely deplorable. every definition of the term. You just can't do that. Sly, yeah, it's bad. But Buddy matches it and says, I'll raise you, I'll raise you a loincloth.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Yeah, we've seen it in Star

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

But um, this indigenous thing this trope of indigenous people has been all over the place in masks so far, right? Reminder, we're in episode nine. Yeah,

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

Book of Power, Dinosaur Boy, and now The Oz Effect. So four out of nine. It's just under 50 percent have had this indigenous people thing. It's like why

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

there's so much more to do. You could have an earthquake machine destroy a city, for example, which we saw, and that was pretty cool and made sense. Why they're leaning on this trope is beyond me. And I'm curious to see if it continues in the show? I also wonder about the zeitgeist of the show. 80s, the mid 80s, 84, 85. If that's a thing, if we're seeing lots of national geographic documentaries back then or something, cause I don't get it. I really don't.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I'm like hard pressed to think of like any other cartoon we would have watched at the time that would have done this. Like, I don't remember it from He Man. I don't remember it from Transformers. I don't remember from G. I. I don't remember from Robotech. This is like. a hallmark of mask.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

It is uniquely mask indeed. We are now moving into episode 10 next week. Episode 10 is called death from the sky. Venom uses a tractor beam to steer a meteor to Earth, which threatens to destroy a major city. I think we might get out of the indigenous trope here. I, it's been a long time since I've seen it, I don't remember. But we might.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

I think we're going to break free of that trope.

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Tractor beams, meteors destroying cities, I am here for it. But for now, this podcast has to transform and head back to HQ. I am Adam Moore.

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

And I am PJ

squadcaster-f0fj_1_05-03-2024_100554:

Buh bye!

pj_1_05-03-2024_110554:

buh bye.

The mobile armored podcast show is written, produced and edited. Bye Adam Moore. And PJ McNerney.