Mobile Armored Podcast Show

Matt Trakker, Ladies Man

• Adam Moore and PJ McNerney • Season 1 • Episode 13

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Like most of you, Adam and PJ strongly oppose the rampant deforestation of the Amazon rainforest. Having said that, if we were forced to come up with ways for destroying the jungle, don't you think giant caterpillars would be last on that list? Well, not for Miles Mayhem, whose latest scientific achievement is used for the dumbest reason possible. That, and a new redhead enters Matt's life who is sure to make Gloria jealous. Here comes another episode of the Mobile Armored Podcast Show!

https://www.instagram.com/m.a.s.k.podcast/

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

ha! Okay, man, I had to put some screenshots in.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

I see that. This is gonna be good. This is gonna be very good. Alright, if you are ready, we will begin in three Welcome to the Mobile Armored Podcast Show, the podcast that transforms into an NPR chat show because apparently I'm too loud for the podcast studio next door. I am Adam Moore, alongside my best friend and co host PJ McNerney. How are you doing, sir?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I'm doing great today, Adam. Recently just found a new recipe for smoking tri tip and we're gonna play a little smooth jazz as we discover all of the magic of tri tip and caterpillars today.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Oh, beautiful. That's good stuff. Yeah, I, uh I got a beef with the podcast studio next door. And um, I, I'm on a a campus. Um, And we have two wonderful state of the art podcast studios actually, which is great for the podcast recording. But they built them right next door to each other. And I guess they don't have the best soundproofing. And so if I'm podcasting and someone's podcasting next door, I'm much louder and animated. Because we're talking about mask! I'm looking for ways to get back at them for complaining. I'm really looking to take this beef from a polite knock on the door, could you keep it down? To a full on podcast war. So PJ, any thoughts?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

You have to realize Einstein made a statement that you never solve the problem at the same level that it's caused at. And so, if Sonic is the issue here, then you need to use another sense to get back at them. So, A stink bomb in a small, confined space would be an ideal thing, because it probably wouldn't wreck any equipment and would be rather useful for just making them question what they're doing with their lives. And would probably vacate them for a while.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

I don't even know what their podcast is. That's what I'm curious to know about. What are they podcasting about where we're bothering them but okay, Stink Bombs is a good way. I will try that and I will get back to you next week to let you know how it

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Yeah, and so we don't get a lot of hate mail if people don't ever watch the video clips that we post. Adam's room is surrounded by the foam you'd expect in a podcast studio, so we can presume the other studio has it as well.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

it does. Listeners, especially you Dan Rosenstein, if you have any ideas of how to get back at the podcast next door please drop us a line on Instagram or find us where we're posting on, in the Facebook groups. We need your ideas. Anyways, we are looking at Mask Episode 13, The Creeping Terror, in which Venom unleashes a horde of giant caterpillars to destroy a South American jungle in hopes of finding a lost Mayan temple. Right off the bat with that tagline, what is going on?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

It's amazing in so many ways. Like we're combining a lot of stuff together we've seen before. Also I just realized something. We are one fifth, 20 percent through the first season.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Wow.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Episode 13 marks that. It's really amazing. Crazy for us to even like think about it, but it just occurred to me right now. and for, to mark that hallowed occasion of 20 percent through, we've got giant genetically engineered caterpillars in a South American jungle.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Now my hope from last episode was that despite the fact we're in the jungle, somewhere in South America and despite the fact that they're looking for a lost Mayan temple, that we would hopefully not have indigenous people who are half naked. My wish did not come true.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

No pony for you this Christmas, Adam.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

No we do open. Pretty creepy. Some alien esque eggs are hatching, revealing these really creepy green eyed creatures. but then we cut to a river, could be the Amazon and we reveal indigenous people. Now you said we are a fifth of the way through season one. Out of that off the top of your head, how many have involved half naked indigenous people?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

we did this count on an earlier podcast and now that we have to update it, I feel like we're at like five or six episodes. We're like closing in on 50 percent of the episodes require some kind of indigenous people. And I think that number changes depending upon if you think that the white guys dressed up as Bedouins in the one episode of Book of Power count as an indigenous people. I think that's a little borderline right there. But regardless, we have a lot of basically like native peoples that we have seen repeatedly

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

They're so obsessed with them in this show. I don't really know what to say, but they really love them. And the ones in this episode are rowing a canoe down the river, and they spot a clearing in the jungle and they say, It cannot be. In not so broken English, it's a bit halting, it has an accent, but I wouldn't say it's broken English. So we're okay there. We are a bit early for a Buddy Hawks award nomination, but we're going to go ahead and put one in there.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

for the writers, who I think are getting a permanent Buddy Hawks award. Like we're, we've gone back to this well a lot folks, and we're only 20 percent of the way through.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

We have an announcement to make that the Buddy Hawks Lifetime Achievement Award Is being given to the Writers of Amask Season 1. The uh, ceremony will be happening in a few weeks. Look for your invitations. In the mail! But yeah, so there's this giant clearing. In the forest.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

so maybe there's something that can actually tie this all together because, everyone's doctor's office and probably maybe just every office just had tons of national geographics. So I'm wondering if the writers picked up one issue that was talking about industrial farming in the Amazon, and they're like, Oh we could do this. There's native people.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

how about the exchange between these native tribespeople?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

What happened? The trees and grass are all gone. This is one of those show don't say moments and there's a lot of animation to get to this point.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

I totally agree. What happened? What do you think happened? The trees are gone, you idiot. But suddenly, Three giant caterpillars with glowing green eyes exit the jungle and start approaching the natives. And they have to uh, dive into the water in order to escape. I mean, These caterpillars are legitimately

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

they are at least. 8 feet tall and, I don't know, 30 feet, 40, 50 feet long. I mean, They're huge! And like, my question was, why did you let them get that close to you? Were you frozen? Because if I saw these from 100 feet away, I'd be fucking running. I don't even care. These guys got within 5 feet of these guys and they're moving really fast.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

They just stood, shocked, like deer in headlights,

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

that would be our response as well, to be fair. Maybe like, if we saw giant fucking radioactive, genetically engineered caterpillars in front of us, be like, okay, this is how we're gonna go, huh?

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Well, Meanwhile, at a native village on the water, it's a beautiful place, kids are jumping in the water, it's a really friendly, upbeat happy little town there. We find Scott and T Bob, and Scott is telling T Bob, hurry up and take my picture. Scott's holding a spear but not dressed in anything other than his normal clothes, so not as bad as some of T Bob's past appropriations.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

that is true. He's not dancing with the spear, which is T Bob's typical MO. As you point out, Scott is just wearing The normal set of clothes he has 20 copies of,

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

We think it's copies. It could just be the same ones.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

We hope, we really hope. But score a point for the writers and animation team. The natives of this village are barefoot. But they're mostly clothed.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Very true. Now, T Bob falls down after being scared by a bunch of normal sized caterpillars. And Scott runs over and says, Are you okay, T Bob? And Scott actually shows concern for T Bob, which seems like it's an actual first in the series. Am I right about that?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Yeah, I mean, was a genuine moment there, and my first thought was like, Scott had T Bob take a Voight Kampff test from Blade Runner and realize that T Bob actually is alive, or at least indistinguishable from a human. And given that T Bob actually has a far greater range of emotions than Matt Tracker, I really feel like this is something Scott should have come to earlier. but then right after that, T Bob runs away and Scott declares, T Bob, such a scaredy cat, being afraid of these caterpillars, which are descending in a really creepy fashion down from the trees.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah, I wasn't sure what was up with that. That was pretty weird. And also, Scott admitting that T Bob actually has human emotion. You That was big.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Huge and speaking of being scared, why is Scott not these caterpillars? There's like A couple dozen of them descending at the same time. And I'll be honest, like if that happened to me, I would also be looking to exit as well.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

It's clear that they are intelligent and they have a plan. And they are coming down the tree for a reason. It's not just like one or two that happen to be there. They are coming for T Bob.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

And just so folks know, fuzzy caterpillars many of them are poisonous. Maybe all of them are poisonous.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Hopefully that's what the more you know segment will be about at the end of this episode.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

One could hope, but I'm not holding my breath.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Meanwhile, Matt is checking out a new field hospital with a foxy looking redhead. We never get her name, just Some, babe.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I noticed that too.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Uh,

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Nameless woman and he is checking out we say the field hospital.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

She points out, it never could have been built without your contributions. Which again, is a trend, right? Where people always have to thank Matt and point out how much money he's given to achieve whatever this is that they've done.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

It's true. There is this definite sycophantry going on. But I do want to point out the line Matt says right before that, cause he's like, I'm impressed. The hospital is very well equipped. and then it's followed by, I'm happy you're pleased, Mr. Trekker. It never could have been built without your generous contributions. So first off, we have a pattern here of Generous contributions. What's required for this particular grant writing process for Matt Trager.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

we didn't see her in a ravine. Or in his library. I'll also point out the field hospital, it's kind of just a tent. what did he contribute?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

The stakes, electricity. I don't know, Did you check out his smug face when she is praising him?

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah, I know.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

he's got this smile on his face. It's knowing smile. And I. I have a question for you, man.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Are they getting it on tonight? Is this just buildup? Has it already happened?

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

it already happened. Both. It already happened, and it's happening again. He's so used to it, though. Everywhere Matt goes, there's like a woman in every port for this

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

It's Okay, let's sideline on this one for a second. Is it Matt doing this to try and make Gloria jealous? It feels like Gloria is the one who's like holding out saying, no, I'm not going to marry you, Matt. Whatever. And Matt is like trying to like bury his feelings everywhere else.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

He's trying to bury something everywhere else, that's for sure. Someone else comes into frame next. It is Alex! Good old Alex Sector approaches with a monkey on his shoulder. And reveals that back in the States, he owns an exotic pet store. This starts to explain some of his past PETA violations. It's not an excuse, though, for the fact that he is most definitely breaking several laws with his exotic pets. Especially the alligator and the orangutan. Okay, so that's what you're calling it. It's an exotic pet store. Alright. So the monkey puts a banana peel on Alex's head. And he says, hey, my head is not a trash can, and it's uproarious laughter. As if Matt just made fun of Dusty style laughter, Dusty made a racist comment level laughter. It's a big guffaw.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Everyone is laughing at that the run up to that Alex makes a statement like, friendly chap, wouldn't you say? And the doctor says You two seem to be getting along together quite well. But again, The look on his face! is before the monkey shoves the banana peel in to his face. Uh, Look on his face is really serious, and I think that monkey has no idea how much danger it is in. Because I really feel like what his statement would have been is, Back in the States, I own an exotic pet store. I am very good at getting animals to trust me, then killing them by negligence.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah, Alex's face is very stern in, In that shot. He is not happy at all. Maybe he's being sarcastic when he says friendly chap, wouldn't you say? Or maybe he's haunted by all those animals throughout the years that never made it out of his shop. Well Suddenly, the two indigenous men from earlier come running up to Matt, Alex, and the redhead babe to say that they were attacked by giant caterpillars. And so, Matt and Alex are gonna go investigate while leaving Scott and T Bob behind to In a remote native village with no one they know. So there's your father of the year award nominee from Matt right there.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

It just occurred to me we've seen with maybe the exception of Mr. Spenson we've seen this pattern where Scott is left with the women that are there almost as if Matt's kind of like saying, and we're shopping for a new mom for you here, let's see how this one does to watch over you we've seen this like, Uh, with Melinda, we've seen this with Star Chariot we've seen it several times where he's just left in the care, presumably, of the woman that happens to be there.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Well, Alex and Matt are now out in the jungle. And I would like to point out that Alex continues to have the monkey on his shoulder. Just chillin out.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Alex has this preternatural ability for animals to trust him, even when he's using a machete.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah. He's got a giant machete in his hands. They stumble upon the same clearing that the indigenous men Found earlier, and they spot the shells of the giant caterpillar eggs, and a computer scan reveals the eggs have been genetically altered.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Yeah, a lot of stuff here for a sec. I was wondering, I don't know if I'm just being overly sensitive, but was there a subtle Buddy Hawks moment here, where Matt's like, I don't see anything wrong. And then Alec's like, maybe Kala and his men were exaggerating. And underneath that, it was like, Those native tribesmen don't know anything. They get spooked by these tiny caterpillars. Also, he mentioned he wants to take one home. I'm not sure if you caught that. He wants to take one home. What experiments does he want to run on a giant caterpillar?

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

He runs an exotic company. Pet shop, PJ. I think your answer is right there. He wants to sell some billionaire, 150, 000 giant Caterpillar as a pet.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

And then, here's the last thing I, like, Alex is hauling around this, this laptop computer. It's a pretty giant one, but it's also able to read a genetic sample? From an egg? What kind of computer is that? We don't have those today.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

It's a suitcase computer. back then, yeah. Laptops were. Heavy, they weren't reliable, of course. But that's a suitcase, not even a briefcase, it's a suitcase It's got a handful of transistors in it anyways. But Alex and Matt do in fact spot the giant caterpillars and realize the entire forest will be consumed in a matter of days. The Amazon rainforest is pretty big. I'd like to see the math on that.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Yeah, I tried to nail down a few stats on this to try and like figure this one out. be clear, these caterpillars are probably, I don't know, 10, 000 times the size of a normal caterpillar. I mean, They're giant. So the Amazon rainforest is 2. 5 million square miles. Uh, At least that's today's numbers. I don't know what they would have been back in 85. I think it's fair to say these caterpillars can't do it on their own, but if they bred, we've got a big fucking Rotex situation on our hands here

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

For sure. point is though that in a matter of days, these giant caterpillars cannot actually, the entire Amazon rainforest. But Alex and Matt spot a wall and they decide to go check it out, but are suddenly attacked by Slyrax on Piranha.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

this is actually really interesting, cause Sly is definitely going in for the kill. There's no two ways about it. he's attacking aggressively, it's a no holds barred engagement. And so he might not know about this little game between Matt and Miles.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

hasn't been briefed on that, surprisingly, or he was, and he just forgot because he was so stoned.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

wonder how much this is a misfire on the part of the writers. Because maybe they're trying to bring awareness to the Amazon, but if a kid watches This episode. And then a parent comes to them and says, oh yeah, there's all this industrial farming happening in the Amazon. They'd be like, no! This isn't industrial farming, it's giant caterpillars, but mask is gonna stop them!

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Again, I want to point out, and I think we'll get to this later, so maybe I'll cut it from the pod here, but I just wanted to lay it out here, that there are way easier ways To deforest the Amazon than having giant caterpillars eat. And also, how did they get the giant caterpillars to eat in that specific area?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Alright, I need to get at this Mayan temple. I need to clear the forest. And Sly and Cliff are like, no problem, we'll clear I NEED GIANT CATERPILLARS, WE WILL GENETICALLY ENGINEER THEM. Hold on, boss. I have torch. Shut up! It's very effective. The industrial farmers have been doing it for a long time. It's actually a really big problem I've been reading about. We will get giant caterpillars!

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

And I'll, also, since we're on the subject, we'll go on this detour for a second. I'm not even clear who genetically modified them, whether it's the civilization that we'll find out about or whether it was Miles genetically engineered them, because that again, if he can genetically engineer giant caterpillars, let's go ahead and commercialize that technology and forget about whatever it was he was trying to steal from this Mayan temple.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I feel like There are four possibilities two that you just mentioned which is the Mayan folk, basically this is some kind of hidden creature that we were only just discovering and Miles is exploiting. It's Miles science division, where it's like all right, our latest Delta submarine or earthquake machine or what have you. Three actually is something like, is it possible because we've seen this, dynamic before with the Rotex where there are experiments going on by someone else, another military outfit, and Miles stole this. Yeah. that could be like your PNA defense command connection right there, not only we're building robotic bugs that can eat metal, we're building giant caterpillars and genetically engineering them to eat vegetation, except without a kill switch. The fourth possibility, and this goes a bit to the retcon y thing that you get to later on in the toy series, what if it's Dr. Mindbender from Cobra? doing these experiments.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah. I like to think it's just Miles who goes over the top with his plans. How are we going to deforest a section of the Amazon to find a lost Mayan temple? We're going to genetically engineer giant caterpillars. He's the proto Dr. Evil.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

it really is, it's true. Maybe he's got an environmental bent to him, like he doesn't want to burn it down because he's concerned about the carbon emissions. And so he wants something where it just will naturally decompose.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

That would be an interesting twist on Miles's character. however, back to the clearing where Sly is firing lasers at Alex and Matt. So they're forced to run away. And Sly says, I don't know who you are, but don't come back. And then a fun shot of the monkey dropping coconuts on Sly's head.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Yeah, Sly runs back and forth. He's being pinned down by a monkey. Let's state that this does not seem like typical monkey behavior, Adam. So here's my question. How quickly has that monkey learned violence after such a short exposure to Alex?

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

I'd say a matter of hours is really all it takes, especially sitting on his shoulder while he's wielding a machete. Well, They make it safely back to camp, and Matt fires up that suitcase computer, and we have the agent selection scene.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

So I do want to say we didn't know it was Venom. until Sly showed up, right? Again, playing around with the reveal a little bit. It does play into this theory we've got about masks following lots of leads to Venom, but then only converging when they actually find them.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah, I mean, I guess we'll just retcon that right into the series is that's what Matt does. That's why he would also have, agents from foreign countries eventually that are revealed in this series. Okay. Now the agents selected are Hondo And I'm telling you them so quickly because we don't actually see any of the show's key moment. One of the key reasons we tune in every week to Mask is to see what's going to happen when the agent is called while they're in their, other job. So we don't know if Hondo Throws a brick at a student. We don't know if Brad steals a guitar. We don't know. We have no idea what's going on. They just are called by the computer and that's it. Notably, Alex Sector, not selected for the team.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Definitely feels an oversight. Doesn't it, Adam, though? Not just because he's there, right? Alex has an expertise in killing animals, which is clearly needed here.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah. He would have been the first person I would have chosen. And maybe the only one. Really. But this is a super small team, for one. And two, we don't get any of the mask watch call moments. Which is like the foundation of our entire podcast, PJ. We're ruined. What are we going to do?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I don't know! I, I did have a theory that the watch moments that were supposed to be in there I mean, I think we get to fill them in. That are just going to be too outrageous for kids. To set it up a bit, we've seen Hondo interact with that librarian in the past, where she got really upset when he just took off. So my theory was that Hondo's actually getting it on with the librarian, gets the call, finishes it, and is like, I gotta go, and takes off. And then Brad, he's banging a groupie, he gets the call, he finishes, and he takes off as well. So, You can't show that to kids, but we can say that's what was happening here, and it certainly explains the anger that librarian had, and you can imagine the same reaction in that moment.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Uh, This is what I get for not reading the rundown ahead of time.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

It's all these Easter eggs that get surprised on you, man.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Well, It would've been great to show them. And then Matt says, Approved! Assemble mobile art! Strike a man. He's like, yep, excellent work boys.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

So I, you are right. This is a super small team, but I will point out it's actually maybe the highest agent to vehicle ratio we've seen. Cause. Everyone gets their own vehicle. It's one to one and all the vehicles are going to get used this episode, both for mask and venom.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Finally, they're taking our notes. We see the giant mask jet take off, which is actually our first extended look at it. We don't see the vehicles get on, we don't see the vehicles get off, but we get a good look at it, flying.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

yeah. Some fancy camera angles. Like As it takes off, it's nice.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

cut to the Amazon, where Thunderhawk, Rhino, Condor, and Firecracker all parked in the clearing, and Matt and the guys are investigating. We realize that these short walls that they spotted earlier are thousands of years old. Hondo is the one who reveals this. didn't know he was an archaeologist, also wanted to point out that he somehow. Figures this out just kind of rubbing the wall.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I feel like there's one or two ways with him. One, he's bullshitting us, which I tend not to believe. Cause he is just, he's always the most competent member of the group. He's so I tend to believe. That he's got multiple PhDs and that he's basically the Indiana Jones of the group. That's what we know. That's what I'm I'm going with here. Also the one that shows the most concern consistently for Scott.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah. Well, I mean, He's the finest agent they have. He's probably the finest human being they have. Good looking, strong, talented,

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

He runs out on the librarian. That's the problem. Like he does have his, he does have his moments on his watch moments,

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

well, We reveal that Scott and t Bobb have stowed away in the flatbed of firecracker and they've really gotta start checking the back of firecracker before they leave it on a mission.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

especially when Scott and T Bob are around, that's their go to place to hide. They, Brought a lot of coconuts with them in case they get hungry, which I felt like was a really like threadbare way of getting the next couple plot points in later on. But I also like the idea that's it's in case Scott gets hungry, in which case he's going to use T Bob like a tool to crush them open. Because he does not have the strength to crack those coconuts open by himself.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Well, Miles shows up in Switchblade and says we've got to get them away from there before they discover the map. And we have a good old Masked Venom battle that breaks out. At the beginning of it though, Hondo spots Scott and T Bob. Notably, He does not tell Matt.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

think he doesn't tell Matt off the bat because he just knows like what's the point? I'm just gonna have to take care of him myself. So like I'm just I'm gonna do this.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah, he knows how Matt operates. got Condor vs. Piranha, Jackhammer vs. Rhino, lots of laser blasts. I'd actually like to point out at this moment that neither side is ever very accurate with their lasers. Except, I remember when Gloria shot off the belt buckle from Miles belt. That was pretty darn accurate. Otherwise, They're about as bad as stormtroopers when it comes to firing lasers from their vehicles. Why do they even have them?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

a little bit here but this takes place, In the same universe as G. I. Joe and both sides of G. I. Joe have remarkably bad aim. So I think they're all training at the same camps here. Gloria, however, is an expert marksman, apparently, in addition to being a Kung Fu master and race car driver. It probably would have been a smart idea to bring her along this one, but Matt doesn't want her to interact with the redhead.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

She is an asset on every single mission she's ever on. But you bring her on this one. Remember the episode with The blonde in Australia, that wasn't good to mix those two

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Learned his

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

he, So here's an interesting moment during the battle. Rhino fires a rocket into the sky that makes it start raining, then Firecracker fires its ice beam, which causes all that water that's gathered on the ground to form into like a kind of frozen lake type situation. slides around on the ice, throws Skyrax off the motorcycle, and then Cliff just uses his torch to melt the ice and it's back to normal. Seems like a very involved maneuver. For everyone involved. At least they're using their masked powers. But It's really involved.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

It is involved. It's over the top. I took this as Hey, we're going to showcase and use. All of the toys powers, we're going to fire the rocket off from Rhino, which I think this might be the first time we've seen that maybe the second, it rarely happens. we don't see torch as often as you might think we see the ice beams at a firecracker a lot. And this is our second instance of the hypno headlights. That, Takes out Cliff. Which again, like, how he's not dead after passing out, Like, they had no headlights, it should just be called, We're going to kill you in your vehicle. Miles barely activated his autopilot last episode, Cliff miraculously got into the egg. again it's Hondo he takes out two agents, with the ice thing for Cliff Dagger, which probably would have killed that guy, and the hypno headlights for Cliff.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

he is the goat of Mask,

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

and he's taking care of Scott at the same time.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Matt spots Vanessa in Manta, which we don't actually see very often. Flying around in circles, and he goes to kinda check it out. Turns out she's been taking pictures of that big clearing. And then she just says, Venom, mission accomplished. And they all escape. There is a mask agent that seems to be missing during all this, though.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Where the fuck is Brad when all this is going on? Brad unsuccessfully shot a piranha and then took off. Did he crash when it rained? I don't know. But there are two Flying Mask vehicles and two Flying Venom vehicles, and Matt has to like, double team both the flying vehicles at the same time.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Maybe he went back to check on the redhead? Hey, I just wanted to make sure she was okay, I mean no one was like, paying attention to her, so I figured I should probably just Just make sure she's okay. Meanwhile Firecracker, who has Hondo, Scott, and T Bob, and a bunch of coconuts all inside, are getting attacked by the giant caterpillars. What's gonna happen, PJ?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

What's gonna happen? know, I may be very frightened, but what's gonna happen is Scott's going to die due to Matt's poor parental attention. This is negligence. But okay, what's gonna happen?

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

We'll find out after these messages.

Come on, Jeebop. Mask will be right back. Oh, boy. Back to mask.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

we're back. And when we left you, Scott, Hondo, and T Bob, who's not alive, but okay, we're all gonna die. Killed by these giant caterpillars, however, they throw the coconuts out of firecracker and the caterpillars go and chase after the coconuts.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

If you look at the scene, like those coconuts, which are huge, they're like the size of Scott's head. They're capable of killing people like, and they do every year, like fallen coconuts do kill people. So it's, it actually is remarkable. And interestingly, when they do the shot Scott takes a second to come up, so I'm not sure if he's got a concussion.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

he's unconscious at one point. In that sequence he takes a few hits to the head and he's out. But, dear listener, everyone is okay. I would like to point out a few things. First never once did Hondo tell Matt that Scott was there. And upon learning that Scott is there, Matt doesn't say a word to him. Not even an, oh, hey, Scott, are you okay? Nothing. He completely ignores his son. Father of the year nominee right there.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

first off, why would Hondo say anything to Matt when Matt never says anything to Scott? And I think this is like maybe a sad state of affairs that Hondo being a teacher probably sees absentee fatherism all the time. And so I think that actually naturally causes him to gravitate to want to take care of Scott.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

It's not an excuse for Matt

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

not at all.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

He doesn't say anything to Scott. What he does instead is he takes off in Thunderhawk to see what Vanessa was looking at. And it turns out that those walls, those kind of Mayan ruins are actually a map. So I just want to pause again and state what's happening logically in this episode. Miles was using genetically altered giant caterpillars. To clear an area of the jungle to reveal a hidden map. So neither lasers nor torch, nor anything else could have done this easier

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I think this is Miles leaning into his own MO. He constantly creates technological marvels, either he does or the scientists he employs does and puts them to these absurd uses like over and over again. It feels like it almost feels like we should be generating a, science award for miles for the number of breakthroughs that he makes on a regular basis. He and his team are basically Einstein.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

It all feels a bit like the Rotex though.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Yeah. the Rotex were a bug. Going after metals, this is a bug going after vegetation one was technological. This one's biological and genetic. I think the same problem still exists with this idea of contagion, but I will say that unlike the Rotex for which we had a kill signal. These don't have a kill switch to them. So Nask should immediately go Alex Sector on these creatures and kill them all right now. Like this is an extinction level event that Miles has once again foisted onto the world. Alex can keep one to study. How about that?

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

one to study and one to sell. So, Two. There you go. Speaking of Alex, once the whole M. A. S. team is back together and they're dissecting the battle and all that Alex says that in some ways The Malacca people were more scientifically advanced than we were. Alex, if that's so, then why don't they exist anymore? I think it's a fair question.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

My answer on this one actually just popped into my head. Probably smallpox, smallpox is the reason why they don't exist.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

If they're so scientifically advanced, how come they didn't,

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Anticipate smallpox.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

no, because, no, because here's the thing. We understand that like the Mayans and civilizations like that, they were incredibly advanced. They weren't more advanced than where we are today. They were advanced for their time. What Alex specifically says is, the Malacca people were more scientifically advanced than we are right now.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

And it makes you wonder what data Alex has to actually like say that because we're talking about people who on a regular basis. Radiate these things they put on their heads and have flying cars. if there's something there where it's like, Oh, you know what? The Malacca is invented that we can actually detect from this map, cold fusion, we can solve the energy problem of the world.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

We cut to Venom in front of a waterfall. And they go through this waterfall into You guessed it, a cave. Once again Switchblade is just flying in a cave. But it turns out to be an underground forest that Miles calls the Hidden Valley. The cave and temples are covered, by the way, in giant caterpillars.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

It's pretty bizarre. one little thing I'll point out, Miles orders Dagger to drive through and check it out, which to me showcased which Venom agent Miles considers to be the most expendable. if you fall off that waterfall, I don't care. And then it occurred to me, Cliff gives him the all clear and says, fly through, there's plenty of room to fly through, But, and I want to be sensitive here, but Cliff has an eye patch, which we take to indicate he only has one working eye, which reduces his depth perception. So I'm curious how bad it would be if he had badly misjudged the size of the cave. And he's telling Miles to fly his helicopter, which takes us a little duck in underneath it, if you actually notice the animation.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

It has to squeeze inside. Why not just climb into Manta? Another cave? How many times are you gonna press your luck on this?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

It's like the Millennium Falcon flying through the second Death Star. There's a lot of hope and faith that, there's going to be enough room the entire run.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yes, except that Miles does it frequently in nearly every episode. Well, Look, they go into yet another cave, and Miles pulls out a crystal, which he reveals, I stole this from an antique dealer in the Orient, who didn't know what it was.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

It's actually a fun exchange, because actually the question Vanessa prompts that with is, What's that? And Miles response is, I stole it from an antique dealer in the Orient who didn't know what it was. But, that's not the question that Vanessa asked, okay? I didn't ask you where you got it, fucker. Tell us what the fuck it is, or do you not know? Like, I mean, Are you trying to like, misdirect us here?

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

It turns out the crystal says where they could find the map, which was the jungle floor. At this point I'm wondering why did he pull it out now? we already have the map. But then the crystal lights up, as does one of three cave entrances, which I'd like to point out. They love these branching tunnels in Mask.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Yeah we've got the branching tunnels again. This is in 85, which is four years before the last crusade. So it's before the whole, you must choose, but choose wisely. But I really wondered what would have happened if they went into the wrong cave. Like Cliff, go check out this cave. Ah, I'm being attacked. I guess that's the wrong cave. Slide. Check out the other cave.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

I feel like Cliff would have come out of that first cave badly injured. And then Miles, thank God you're alive. Try that next cave. Venom does enter the even smaller cave, where they find A giant crystal. To which Sly says, Wow, a giant crystal. Vanessa says, Sure beats the rings I've seen. Yeah. Guys, it's a crystal about the size of a human. It's pretty big. Miles inserts his little crystal. into a little kind of keyhole in the larger one to activate this power source. And it starts sending out these pulsing rays of light. Sly says, sounds to me like we just armed a bomb. And Miles tries to pull his crystal out, but it's too hot.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I do love how clearly there's so much radiation pulsating off of this thing, that they're so irradiated already from those things they put on and what they fly. They don't care. It gets too hot. They decide they're going to leave. And the exchange again there's a lot of exchanges in this episode that are just weird. Cliff's like, I'm getting out of here. And Miles is like, all right, let's go and check things out. What are you going to check out, Miles? This is not a library.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

you got this power source activated. And now you're just gonna leave. Yeah. The number of times that Venom gets halfway through a plan And then decides, ah, nevermind. Like the asteroid one. Like the, we finally captured the comet. Ah, nevermind. Let's get out of here.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

And Mask hasn't even shown up yet. Like they do this of their own volition. They're like, ah, I don't want to deal with this

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah Venom escapes literally just as Mask is showing up. so Mask scans and they realize the crystal might blow up. And knowing that the crystal might blow up, they go running into the room, along with Scott and T Bob. Now, this is a moment where Matt, in leaving Scott behind, would actually have been a good father.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Yeah

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

behind in Rhino, it's very safe, in case something happens. Instead, he says nothing to Scott, doesn't really even acknowledge he's there, and they all go running into the room. So Matt tries to use Spectrum to destroy the crystal, but it doesn't work. And making matters worse, Venom does what Venom does best, causing boulders to fall. And they trap Mask inside the cavern. And I'd like to point out that Miles has finally made a plan that will destroy Mask once and for all. Good job, buddy.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I'll grant you this he has backed into a plan he didn't plan that he's like, oh this is a good opportunity. I'm gonna make use of it to kill these people

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

With boulders. What Venom does best. The goal now is to try to destroy this crystal. So Hondo tries blaster and it's no use. And Matt says if Spectrum doesn't work, that means all the other weapons are useless. Once again, Matt saving all the best power for himself.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

This was a moment I said out loud, fuck you Matt. a stupid thing for Matt to build that into the masks. To make Spectrum that all powerful. let's say it is or is not built in, it doesn't matter, but this bit of information in this moment doesn't serve any purpose other than to say, only I can rock the hardest. It's not actually useful other than to make people feel bad about themselves. So it's a bit of world building, but it's not in the way you waNt. I'll also point out that Scott does tug on Matt's arm and says to Matt directly, what are you going to do dad? And Matt has no response for him.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

He doesn't even look at him.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I almost feel like he has this arm jerking reaction when Scott pulls on him like, ah, I don't want you to be here. Why are you doing this?

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Who does this child belong to? Well, I will say that a Good use of a mask power in this episode is when Brad here uses Hocus Pocus to create a giant coconut front of two giant caterpillars who just happen to be in the room with them. The cavern is starting to collapse due to the crystal. And there's actually really good tension in this mask episode. You know, It's like, they gotta solve this problem ASAP or else they're all gonna die.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

It really is. I mean, I thought it was, it was good tension. Like they need to do something. they laid down the groundwork that their masks aren't going to work But this is actually a really nice use of hocus pocus and it's actually pretty good thinking on Brad's part.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

And it works, because the giant caterpillars, they go and they eat the crystal. And I was wondering, is that safe? This is a radioactive pulsating crystal. Isn't that going to kill them? And then in fact, a few moments later, the two giant caterpillars start throwing up these glowing purple shards. the mask team They all start laughing uproariously like, These people, all monsters. They're terrible people.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I kind of wondered about this yes, I agree. These creatures are going to die. But maybe that's for the best, given their size, they are going to be a blight on this earth. So maybe this is actually the best way to kill two birds with one stone. What?

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

to blast a hole in the wall and they all escape. Scott and T Bob, by the way, riding in Rhino, not in Thunderhawk. And as they're leaving, they find caterpillars, these huge caterpillars, as we've seen, and they're just covering the walls of this hidden valley underneath the earth.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

It's interesting because Scott points it out, and Brad asks the question, are they going to turn into butterflies? To which Alex, I, and I don't know how he knows this, or he's pulling this out of his ass, states, because of their size, their metabolism is different. They will probably sleep centuries. T Bob responds, yeah, and after all this, so could I. Laughter again.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah, the science doesn't make any sense at all. Does T POP sleep? He's not

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I don't, I don't know. does this indicate that mask is actually kicking down a problem down the road? So that centuries from now, giant butterflies will just Mothra style devastate the Earth by popping out, breeding, and destroying all vegetation?

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Yeah, the question is still not answered at the end of this episode. Who created the genetically modified giant caterpillars? Was it the ancient Malacca civilization? Or was it Miles? We just don't know. Because we fade to black. And that's the end of the episode. And we cut to the more you know. We are outside the mansion, and Scott is riding around on a bicycle with T Bob on the handlebars. Scott can't see because of T Bob's giant egg shaped robotic body, and so he crashes into a wall and they both go flying. And Matt is like super pissed. He says, Don't ever do that again. A bike is made for one only. You could gotten hurt. about a Hehehe. And I would like to point out that this is only the second time in the entire episode that Matt speaks to Scott.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

it's a such a sad commentary because you know, it seems like Matt doesn't like to care about Scott, but he sure doesn't mind getting pissed at him. I'll state this much of all the lessons we've seen, we've seen a few legitimate ones. This actually was a legitimate one for its day and age. This kind of pair writing was happening all the time. it's actually also hard to hear, but If you listen at the very tail end of T Bob's line, but right before the end credits, both Matt and Scott start laughing at him. So at least they have that, which is a bond between the two of them making fun of T Bob.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

some fathers and sons have baseball. Others have laughing at their robot. So that wraps up This episode, The Creeping Terror, reminiscent of some other episodes, really.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Yeah, it's I feel like it's like the Rotex and Book of Power had a baby. Because, you know, we got Book of Power with this hidden crystal underneath the earth that they're trying to go after. We've got the Rotex where it's this, consuming bit. And I, quite honestly like, way I was thinking a lot about this was that if I, Was the showrunner and I could order these episodes I probably would have swapped the order of these two because I think the caterpillars you could have parlayed this into the caterpillars Giving miles an idea about how useful and devastating a creature like that could be Which then could play into the Rotex? Creation or at least him stealing it. I'm being very generous at this point in time because it does feel like it's a bit of larceny across a couple of different episodes.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

know, it's like they have these tropes. Five tropes are given to every writer, and they say choose three of them for each episodes.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Yeah.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Indigenous people, you can have giant eating machines. You can have crazy venom contraptions, like two

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

And caves.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Caves. Oh, they're absolutely. Caves is another trope. What's the fifth trope?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I don't know that being a dick,

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

that's every episode.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

That's every episode. Yeah, true. True. That's just a constancy.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

We are going to be moving on to episode 14, Assault on Liberty. Venom steals the Statue of Liberty during a magic show and holds it for ransom. Isn't that something that David Copperfield did on an ABC special one time when we were kids?

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Yeah. And to place this historically around 85, 86, 87 I'm blanking on exactly what it is. The Statue of Liberty was an actually deep disrepair and so they had like these Charlie Brown commercials talking about, how Like they needed to raise money to fix the Statue of Liberty. So I do wonder if one of the writers just saw a commercial for David Copperfield doing this and decided Venom should do that too.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

Again, as you all know, I don't watch the episodes ahead of time. So I have no idea why. They wanted to steal the Statue of Liberty. My guess is he doesn't give a reason. He just does.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

I really hope it's actually for a sum of money. They do say he holds it for ransom. I hope that sum of money is more than the 25 million he threatened the earth with We'll

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

it's in disrepair, he's like, I want 30 million for it. They're like, keep it. We don't have that kind of money, clearly.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

One thing to point out, okay, I think we have a litany of Father of the Year moments, maybe even too many to state. I think basically picking one is hard. I think the general neglect that Matt has in this episode is intensely high. Maybe the highest we've seen thus far. one thing I'll point out, despite the fact we have a significant indigenous people presence here, I don't know if we have a strong Buddy Hawks award this time.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

No, we don't. It's just kind of at the beginning, and I think goes back to our Lifetime Achievement Award to the writers for constantly being culturally insensitive.

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Good job mask for not being racist this episode.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

That wraps up another fantastic episode of the mobile armored podcast show. We want to thank you all for listening as always. We love hearing from you on Instagram and all that. So please just, keep the comments coming, keep on sending the love. We love making this for you. And so, uh, it's always nice to hear that you're loving it too. As well. Uh, We're going to start bringing on a fan or two onto the podcast in the, the coming weeks. Especially to correct us where we are incorrect about masks. So we're very much looking forward to that. But for the time being, we need to transform and head back to HQ. I am Adam Moore,

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

And I am PJ McNerney.

adam_1_06-20-2024_100109:

buh bye,

pj_1_06-20-2024_110109:

Buh bye.

​The mobile armored podcast show is written, produced and edited. Bye Adam Moore. And PJ McNerney.