Mobile Armored Podcast Show

Buddy Hawks is 'Stache-tastic!

• Adam Moore and PJ McNerney • Season 1 • Episode 21

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When you think "Mardi Gras", do you think parachuting clowns, Disney copyright infringement, and drug labs in the swamp? Because M.A.S.K. sure does! All that, plus Scott tries to kill T-Bob (again), Sly wears a headdress, and Buddy Hawks has the most 80's mustache you've ever seen. It's the Mobile Armored Podcast Show!

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adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

It's it's an episode of a cartoon. I'll tell you I could tell you that much.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

yes it is. So let's do it, man.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

All right, we are rolling at three two. Welcome to=the= Mobile Armored Podcast show, the podcast that transforms into Mardi Gras beads. I am Adam Moore alongside my co host and best friend, PJ McNerney. We're back, PJ. We're back from Matt Tracker's legally enforced Labor Day holiday.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Yeah. It's nice to see the uh, the DOJ, like actually enforcing like some of these holidays, they threatened to uh, pull tracker industry's tax credits. Now he's muttered some things around. I'm going to move this overseas where they don't have a labor day or this minimum wage business.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

The real challenge is that because, Tracker Industries is the front, right? The problem we still have is that the mask team still works overtime fighting crime.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

it's

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

they were not covered by the DOJ injunction. So I feel bad for the gang. They were probably still on call over Labor Day.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

it's really tough because, if you're a member of MASC, are you going to say, Hey, I've been voluntarily a part of a paramilitary group for a long time now, but I don't get Labor Day off. Can you do something about it? I have a feeling the suit is going to be slightly different than what they would intend.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

We are looking at episode 21, Mardi Gras mystery. The mask team enjoys. I'm gonna put that in quotation marks. The mask team quote unquote enjoys a New Orleans Mardi Gras, but finds Venom there trying to steal the formula to super fuel. It only gets better from there, folks.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

really does. It's so funny to see VASC is taking on these cultural touch points. It's Oh, let's go see the statue of liberty. Let's let's go overseas. Let's go to Mardi Gras. what travel log was paying them to like, do this? Be like, Oh yeah, we really want to showcase stuff to see it in there for tourism boards

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

probably an excuse for the writers to go to Mardi Gras. Get a, tax write off.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, There was a more lenient time in the 80s.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

well, the episode opens with a very scary clown skydiving. The clown lands and gets very light tepid applause from a small crowd dressed in a variety of Halloween costumes. And my question immediately was, whose acid trip did I stumble into this time?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Welcome to the party pal. I'll point out that that maneuver is actually really dangerous. Like if there's any gusting winds, basically that guy's gonna slam into a building. Costumes are great though. kind of inexplicable at times like, you're, you're kind of wondering like, is that guy a pumpkin?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

A grey, a dark

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

A dark grey pumpkin? Is he some sort of superhero? I don't know there's, it was like, hey, we're all just gonna get randomly dressed up. There's a pirate with an eyepatch on.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

I, I was trying to figure out, is he a pirate or is he like a modern day longshoreman who was injured in an accident on the docks? We'll post a picture to Instagram, you can all be the judge.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

he just came from the New Orleans docks and this is just like his, that's a hood he wears. It's not a costume. Like we're actually assuming too much.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

We cut to Matt Scott and t bob in the crowd they're also in costume PJ Matt is dressed as Robin Hood and I had to look a few times to make sure that he is in fact wearing tights and it's not just a very short skirt that he has on he's wearing yellow tights Scott is dressed as a cowboy cute and t bob is dressed like A Native American. So within the first 15 seconds of the episode, we have a buddy Hawks award nomination, a new record

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

it's amazing. And T Mob has surprisingly taken, I don't know if a lead is right, because I think Buddy Hawks is still in the lead in so many ways, but T Mob surprisingly pops up into this category far more times than I would have guessed a priori.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Scott says, I wish Mardi Gras could last all year long. And Matt's response is, The best is yet to come, Scott. I've got something special to show you. Does it involve throwing beads? Or binge drinking? And that's when Scott Tracker became a man. Hehehehe Hehehehe

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

what father brings his child to a Mardi Gras celebration? I guess Matt Tracker's that father. Um, I wonder if he has said to Scott ahead of time like, son, you're about to understand what happens when Gloria comes over for a sleepover. Also, you are to never, never, never tell her about what happened here at Mardi Gras. I do have a theory about this, which I will share at the end of the episode, because it connects with something a few episodes from now.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Well, It turns out Matt's big surprise is To look at the Mardi Gras floats the night before the parade. And so there's some quick shots of all the different Mardi Gras floats. And I do believe there's a blatant Disney copyright violation in there. It is clearly Disney's Snow White with Disney's Seven Dwarfs. PJ. Okay. Well.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

The shoulder pads have red highlights. And Snow White doesn't loom over the dwarves like some Nordic of death. And also the colors and beard lengths are all off. Yep, no, no copyright violation here. No, it's clearly a copyright violation. So we see one with Snow White. And then the next one they cut to is of a float of a blonde mermaid with seashells that basically seem like they're barely sticking on. Any comments about Matt showing Scott this float, Adam?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

She's Matt's type. That's for sure Overall though I'm not sure the Masked Writers really understand what Mardi Gras is, based on what we've seen so far in this episode. hmm.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

We got to go to hop over to like, what I call like religious slash history corner. So let's. Cover what Mardi Gras supposed to be Mardi Gras, at least traditionally. I mean, In the way it's celebrated, like most famously is in New Orleans, Louisiana, which was originally part of Louisiana purchase, which came from the French, who had largely been Catholic up until around the French revolution. and in Catholicism, Lent is that time in the church calendar, which is really the run up to Easter where you give up sweets as a, and, other things like as a sacrifice during this time. So Ash Wednesday. Marks the start of Lent, and as an unofficial holiday, there is the day beforehand, which is called Fat Tuesday, or Mardi Gras. Where you can still have all the things you want. And what that meant is that it's basically turned into a time of wine, song, and debauchery. And yeah, there is actually a float parade that's there. I actually looked up some photos in the 70s and 80s, like the float I've never been there myself, I'll admit.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Neither have the mask riders.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

apparently.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

So we're in good company.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

that's not actually why people go there. I've had friends who go there. And it's really all about throwing beads at women to expose themselves.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah thank you for diving into that corner for us. It points out that whatever Mask thinks is going on with Mardi Gras is not what's happening in the show. But I digress. Suddenly, a golf cart comes tearing out from inside one of the floats, a float of Frankenstein, for those who are following along at home. And then we see Sly Rax riding Piranha, chasing after whoever's driving that golf cart. And I will point out that Sly is also wearing American headdress. So here's another Buddy Hawks Award nominee, right off the bat.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I felt like Sly and T Bob shopped at the same store.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah. Um, A little red headed girl comes running up to Matt. Help me, mister. Those bad men are after my grandpa. There's this moment too where Matt's like, Whoa, whoa, slow down. Like, He's so patronizing to the little girl. And then, Sly comes back in Piranha, with Cliff riding in the sidecar. It turns out Sly is dressed in a full on, head to toe, Native American outfit. Next to him is Cliff Dagger, dressed as a clown. He's still got his eye patch. Um, And Sly says, That little girl is coming with me. So much wrong with

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

so much, okay? I love how much Sly does not give a fuck about the message he's sending. He might as well get out and be like, I'm a white guy dressed as an Injun. He's really that blatant. Cliff is wearing what I consider some kind of fucked up low rent Cirque du Soleil outfit. His hair hat is like so weird. And then the exchange here is also like Cause Sly's like, come on, Becky, your grandfather's waiting for you. And that's like, she's going nowhere with you. Like, like, Look, man, you don't need to drive that point home.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

That might also be another, that might be another nominee.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

might be a little nominee right there. That little girl is coming with me. I feel like the police would have some words with you

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yep. Like we said, so much wrong with that scene. Now, suddenly a car drives up and opens the door. Turns out it's Professor Daly, this kindly older woman. Becky knows her, jumps in the car. And Sly and Cliff are about to stop Becky. But then fireworks go off overhead, and both Venom and Mask stop to admire them in the sky, which distracts them from the girl's getaway. Must be some kind of fireworks to distract them from this very important beat in the story.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I mean they're they all seem to be there. to do something but apparently also to enjoy themselves because they've all put a lot of hard work into those costumes.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah, it's the one thing that can bring Mask and Venom together. Some beautiful fireworks in the sky,

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

this scene looks like from Professor Daly's point of view. because you've got three men in costume, one boy and one robot, both in costume, about to fight over a little girl. And it just felt like, Daley's like, we gotta get this girl out of the fuck outta here. Like, I don't care what about to go down like, just get this shit done.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

even if Becky didn't know her. It would be a better situation to jump into than whatever was about to happen

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Exactly, it's just, ugh.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

We cut to Miles and Vanessa in Jackhammer chasing after Grandpa in the golf cart. And as you pointed out, I love the fact that they're so committed to being in costume. That even Vanessa and Miles are in costume. I can't quite tell what Vanessa's costume is supposed to be. Nor can I really figure out what Miles is dressed up to be. Any Thoughts on that. Is it some sort of like Sant Santeria witch or something like that?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

It's weird, cause like, Miles, I, to me, like when I looked at it, he looks clearly dressed up as a monk. Vanessa's dressed up as some sort of like witch. Ready, or some sort of, maybe not even witch is the right word. Maybe it's like someone who's ready to raise a demon.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah, I mean, I'm not laughing because that's like that's really what it looks like

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

because she's got like those it's not even beads, it's those red bones in a necklace around her neck. She is covered from head to toe and it's like, hey like, you know, she just happened to be wearing this because she was about to go do some stuff, and It's just convenient to also have it for Mardi Gras.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

well Grandpa impressively dodges some laser blasts from jackhammer but he's taken out by a metal garbage can come on Gramps, you're better than that. You're dodging laser blasts, and you get taken out by a metal trash can? Come on, man.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

To be fair, there's like more metal garbage cans than like a Starsky and Hutch episode. Uh, so, I mean, There's just so many that fly at him. Like, I, I kind of forgive the guy.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Well, To wrap up the scene, Miles fires Viper directly at the camera. And there's a cool effect where the red Viper liquid kind of drips off the screen, and it reveals the next scene, which is Matt, Scott, and T Bob investigating the charred ruins of Grandpa's golf cart. Scott is working overtime fighting crime here He's on the briefcase computer and he gets a printout from it and says the carts engine blew up from the gas It used and Matt says not gas Scott. It was a powerful new fuel that cart was doing at least a hundred miles an hour This golf cart was going a hundred miles an hour Gramps was able to maintain control of it

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

So I do want to hop briefly to science corner unless you've retooled the engine, which maybe grandpa has done, it is some kind of gas. and it's, it's hard to know what it is though, because a higher octane fuel doesn't necessarily result in a faster vehicle. And if you're using nitro, you need a specialty engine to make that work. So I think Matt's actually just being a dick to Scott at this point in time. Cause we know Dusty gave Scott a super fuel for his RC cars, way back when.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah. And traditionally, a golf cart probably has something just slightly better than a lawnmower engine in it. So, I don't know what Gramps is driving, but it's a pretty sweet ride. Um, Let's see.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

let's say put a Mustang engine basically in a golf cart.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

The computer does an analysis of the acid used to melt the golf cart, and it reveals that the only person who uses this kind of acid, and it's a beautiful moment, because Matt and the computer say at the same time, Miles Mayhem. Um, yeah,

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

And cause I, it actually gets chemistry like realistically like carbolic acid, I found out is a very poisonous chemical substance made from tar and is also found in some plants and essential oils, but it's also used to, Yeah, it's used to make plastics, nylon it's actually kind of a mild acid, so like, you know, it's, it's only like, like a little bit more acidic than, let's say just neutral distilled water but apparently carbolic acid is also a snake repellent, so I guess that writers either happened into it or were trying to actually make some sort of connection here to venom the neutro dioxide is made up, Is in the Mask Fandom Wiki. Uh, And I think they meant as it's just some kind of neurotoxin. And then they said the remainder is a hydrogen suspension. so in chemistry, a suspension refers to a heterogeneous mixture of a fluid and a hydrogen. That contains solid particles sufficiently large for sedimentation, so you can see them in order for hydrogen to be a liquid. It has to be cool to about negative 423 Fahrenheit. And then it's highly combustible because it's used as a as rocket fuel.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Right.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

It felt like they did some research here, but not a lot.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Alright after learning all this from the computer, Matt says, We knew Venom was operating in New Orleans. And so, this is Matt's M. O. Bring his son to a location where known terrorists are operating. Laughing. And he says, Now we know what they're after. That fuel would make Venom unstoppable. Maybe in Season 2, when they're racing. Not sure how it would make them unstoppable in Season 1 though.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

look, you have radiation and radioactive sources that power your vehicles to do stupendous things like this will make you a little bit faster on the ground.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

They find Becky's grandfather's hat. On the ground there. Scott finds it.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

It's true. He has an amount of concern. For the unknown grandfather of Becky that's staggering, like it's it's like less time spent and more concerned than Luke being upset at Ben's death in Star Wars, like this old man he just met, and Scott is just besides himself.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

An old man that he's never met.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

He's never met.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

We go into the agent selection scene. So the two agents selected are Dusty Hayes. He is flipping pizza, but he seems to throw the pizza off frame. Like not in the air this time, but he gets the call, he leaves and then the dough lands on the ground. So it must've been sort of like boomerang dough toss.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I don't know, man. Cause he hurls that dough like a football before he gets the call. So I don't know if he was like already done with it.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

And then number two is buddy Hawks. He's guiding an Oldsmobile into the Boulder Hill garage when he gets the call. And then he just runs off, and the car crashes into an oil drum.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

He hates his job so much. He's there. He's there at Boulder Hill. Like he's got the time, but he doesn't care.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah well, but that's the team. Matt, Dusty, and Buddy.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I thought it was funny how the computer picked two white guys that know how to keep their mouths shut. Now, I thought it would have been hilarious if they had picked Brad as well, only to find out he's actually there in New Orleans already. Or if the computer was like, Brad Turner, unavailable.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

And they find him drinking on the street corner. I think it'd be funny if Gloria was chosen, and Matt says, I do not approve Mobile Armored Strike

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

laughing laughing

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Matt goes to a local university to check in with Professor Daly, but Daly's not there. Uh, What they do find is golden, crystallized tree branches. And Scott says, This looks like the mold we found on Mr. Ferguson's straw hat. When did they find the mold?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I thought it was amazing that Scott recalls that to such a strong extent that they can actually Like figure that one out and then I love that they can just walk into a university research lab and just touch whatever the fuck They want

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

But it's missing the insert shot of, in the earlier scene, Whatever it is, the golden mold growing on Grandpa's hat. At any rate, turns out Professor Daly is missing. We learned this because a German Nazi esque scientist walks in and tells Matt that Professor Daly might have gone to Gardner's Point, the only place to find some tree that she's been researching. And then he explains that these golden branches they found in the lab come from fire trees. Quote, an old Cajun gentleman from Gardner's Point. Brought some here and Scott says I bet that's Becky's grandfather. And then there's a very intense zoom in on his face

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Bizarre choice to try and Intensify these stakes here that I mean again aren't aren't seemingly well founded Like we've got that one throwaway line from Matt, but it's just it's not hanging together.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

look, the way you do this is you have you know, mr Ferguson and Becky be one of those randos that Matt just seems to know everywhere he goes in the world and they're giving him a tour of You The parade floats and then something goes down and grandpa drives off in it so that we've established the connection between them already So that scott Can be appropriately motivated. And we, the audience, would be emotionally connected to what's going on. Cause we get the relationship. A random dude and some girl that they saw once. I have some writing critiques here. Surprise, Surprise.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Yeah speaking of that, I thought the way the scientist was written, he's comes across as a moron because Matt comes in to this lab, says, I'm looking for professor daily and the scientist without asking who the fuck are you immediately says, I'm worried about her too. And then lays everything out for Matt. And unless basically the scientist and or Professor Daly like know Matt because Matt donated money to the lab and, And therefore owns these people now, because that's the way he rolls like, I'm just like, why would you tell this stuff to this rando that just walked in with his kid?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah, we cut to Venom in the swamps. Miles has the grandfather, Mr. Ferguson blindfolded, and his hands are tied behind his back. You And Miles says, take me to the fire trees. And I thought he could, if you didn't have him blindfolded.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I really wanted him to be like, I'm blindfolded, asshole. I don't know where I am right now.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

uh, Gramps reveals that these fire trees are a family secret. And I'm trying to figure out, What accent is this guy doing? Like, He's trying to sound Cajun, but, I don't think it's coming across that way.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Accent was, came across as like Christopher Lambert in in Highlander who has like a veily pan European accent, who's then trying to do a Cajun accent. I think of it sort of like Sean Connery trying to do a Russian accent in Hunt for Red October.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

busty. She is cold. I am Russian.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

One ping, Mr.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

ha. ha. Ha. Ha.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

One ping only. Ha. Yeah I'm gonna also, I'm gonna go ahead and give a Buddy Hawks award nomination to the voice of Gramps because it's attempting to be Cajun and it's just coming across as an insult. Turns out Miles found out about the secret because Professor Daly had contacted the PNA Science Council and Miles intercepted the message.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Yeah, so I will say this much, It was kind of nice to keep the info grounded in the world we already know. And now we know the PNA science council has shitty security.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Right

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I mean, It's just like, Hey, we just sent an unencrypted message over and they found out about it.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

It's miles listening to every single communique. That's sent to the PNA because it's sent to the science council but they're okay. We found some golden tree branches. Aha

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I will take advantage of that. Also like the PNA, I guess maybe disregarded it or thought it was not useful because they failed to send any security, maybe they sent Matt and company over, I don't know, maybe that's the

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Okay. Okay. Let's go with that because he did say at the beginning of the episode We knew venom was operating in this area so we can connect some dots here if we so choose

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Okay. Let's connect them because that's more fun.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Well Look, meanwhile back on the plantation, which is the only way I can describe whatever that building is that Mask and friends are staying in Buddy has put on a disguise of a very 80s looking dude We will post it on Instagram so you all can enjoy he learned from his underground contacts that there's a special auction tonight at Louie's Cafe. And if Venom's going to get their hands on that fuel, that'll be the place to find it. Really?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I kind of wondered like, is Buddy still a member of the underworld? Does he have to do stuff to prove he's still a member of the Underworld?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah, does he have to commit crimes every once in a while?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Maybe he like, steals from Tracker Industries just to keep his creds up.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Sure. Sure.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Did you wonder though like, an auction, when you have an auction, you're not auctioning one item typically. So, What the fuck else gets auctioned at Louie's Cafe? Should we be concerned about some illegal shit? Human trafficking, stolen artwork, or copyright infringement on Disney's IP.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Not gonna go anywhere near that one. I wouldn't know nothing about that, PJ. what I'll say is that there's a poor history of auctions in Louisiana throughout history, so I'm just gonna not go there.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Good point, huh?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Meanwhile Matt says they need to go out to investigate the swamps and Dusty says I haven't been swamp slopping in a dog's age What is that?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Dusty, can you explain what you mean here? Because Or maybe not. Scott's around. I do think the computer was too circumspect to point this out, but I think a reason that Dusty is here is because he is from the South.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

There you go we see that Scott and T Bob are also wearing disguises which they I guess stole out of buddy's suitcase Matt and Dusty laugh at them And then they stop immediately without a smile. It's some, it's Some of the best animation I've ever seen in this show. Unwittingly hilarious animation.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

It was really good stuff.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

And Scott is instructed to stay in the hotel, yet again.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I have been meaning to say, I feel like we should go back and count the number of times either explicitly or implicitly Scott is made to stay at the hotel.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

If we were a high quality podcast that did research, we would have that number.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

here's the thing. I don't think we expected it. I don't think we were expecting to keep track of the number of times that Scott was going to be made to stay in a hotel.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah. And then leave said hotel.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

True. Or not. There's times he doesn't, and he's just there like in Greece, basically. He's just at the hotel shopping for yachts

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

like one does.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

like one does when you're ten.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Meanwhile, at the secret auction Buddy's there. He's uh, just kind of leaning against a wall in the back. Everyone is seated. They're mostly wearing shirts and ties and, Sportcoats. Dusty's wearing his red hat. His fake glasses, fake mustache. A bright Orange. Jacket. Heh

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Did not get the memo, but he stands out so much. He's literally standing up while everyone else is sitting down. But also like, everyone is like, you're right, they've got like, a suit or a sport jacket, and they all seem like they have ties on. And this guy is oh, he's just wearing his jacket. In New Orleans, at possibly in like the beginning of a hot season.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah. I'm sorry, sir. Were you looking for the bathroom? Heh heh heh. Cause this is not the line for the restroom. That's down the hall. Heh heh Sly is running the auction here.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

he is the worst auctioneer ever. So

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

not an auction at

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

it's not an auction slides, like half a million dollars. You could do better for the super fuel additive. And then Louie who's supposed to be Cajun is like, I haven't seen what this fuel can do. You expect me untested? Why should I show it to someone I won't promise to buy?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah, if I can just point out, that's not an auction. That's a bunch of people watching two people negotiate.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Yeah, and I was just like, what are you guys actually trying to do here? Now, to be fair, from Louis's point of view, all we know is that Sly is holding an Erlenmeyer flask filled with some random yellow liquid. If I was Louis, I'd be suspect. That's like, did you just pee in there?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Well, It's glowing. Uh, Yeah.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

yeah. Everyone knows that your first sample's free. You gotta give him a little taste of what

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah, that's how you get them hooked.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

But, at least they're, instead of using this to find dinosaurs in the jungle, they're trying to resell the tech, which we've talked about in the past.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah. Buddy sneaks down a hallway. And I'm just gonna pause right there.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

This is a very questionable characterization you're, you're, I mean, I know that's the intent of the episode, and you're accurately describing the intent, but everyone sees him leave.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Everyone, because the door is at the front of the room. So he has to walk by everyone, including Sly, to quote unquote sneak out the door.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

it would have been better if he had said, excuse me, everyone. Do you know where the bathroom is? I think I had some bad crawfish. That would be a vastly better sneak out maneuver than what he did.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

he very clearly walks out of a room, I'm correcting myself here, and goes down this hallway and finds Professor Daly tied up in a room. And before he can really do anything, Sly and Cliff show up. But he says that He's with Louie, but then Louie shows up from a different door, actually, and says, I didn't send you. Uh Oh. Now what, Master of Disguise?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

not you, Louie. Louie. Smith. I don't know if you know that, Louie. He's, he traffics and stuff. He sucks as a secret agent.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

He does, he's the worst. Meanwhile, Scott and T Bob are leaving the plantation house, which again, if you look at it, there is no other way to describe where they're staying, to go look for pralines. Scott's line is, to T Bob, they're nuts, like you! Way to kick him around again, Scott. But he spots Venom driving by with Professor Daly. I don't know how he knows it's Professor Daly because he got a glimpse of her for about half a second, but anyways Scott realizes It's Venom. He tries to radio Matt, but he's out of range So Scott orders T Bob into motor scooter mode and goes off to tell Matt in person

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

The radio's working again. We had that whole problem like in the snow where it iced over.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah, it's working except it apparently has no range I Mean I've seen Matt radio from Like another country To the mask computer in Boulder, They can't put something on t bob that allows him to contact his dad

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Maybe they are concerned with radiation for Scott then.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Okay cut to dusty and matt. They're driving in the swamps. Of course gator has no problem because it's a four wheel drive jeep and all but Did you notice that Thunderhawk isn't having a problem either, which I believe is a problem because an IROC Is a rear wheel drive vehicle with very low clearance So how is that just trucking along in the swamp?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

look, I know we were, we want that fuel additive to make stuff like go fast, but don't doubt the ability for a vehicle with a radioactive engine sufficient enough to overcome the laws of aerodynamics to get wherever it needs to.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

True very true and at the very least maybe buddy turned Thunderhawk into a four wheel drive vehicle.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Maybe when they rebuilt it after it got destroyed at Solaria Park. They made it into a four wheel drive vehicle.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Counterpoint, it seemed that Scott was doing most of the work, so I'm surprised it even operates. Meanwhile, Scott and T Bob are riding through the swamp in the dark, suddenly Becky appears out of nowhere. So what is she doing in the swamp in the dark? Scott almost hits her with t bob and they all go tumbling down a hill and into quicksand Now Scott saves Becky from drowning then t bob calls for help saying I'm too young to rust I'm still under warranty and I thought Huh, T Bob has a warranty?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I didn't realize until this, what you just mentioned, like. Why is Becky there? It's not near anything she's like, randomly in the swamp. Because the last time we saw her was getting into the car with Daly, right?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

yeah, so we have no idea how she got out of Professor Daly's car, and why she's wandering around the swamp. She, they live out there, so she presumably would know how to get home, Well, Look, that's where we leave them. Scott, Becky, T Bob, doomed to die. Let's correct that. Scott and Becky, doomed to die. T Bob, presumably, continuing to function for hours, if not days. Trapped. In the darkness, of his doom. But what's gonna happen, PJ?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I don't know. It's so scary. It's so scary.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

We'll find out after these messages.

Come on, Jeebop. Mask will be right back. Oh, boy. Back to mask.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

And we're back, when we left you. Scott and Becky, doomed to die. T Bob, doomed to be trapped in darkness for all eternity. But, it's okay, folks. T Bob uses his Inspector Gadget arms to Reach a tree branch and pull them all out. And at this point, I did have to ask What accent is Becky speaking in?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Becky attends the same Connery Lambert school of accents cause it's, it's all over the map.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

It really is it's like occasionally it sounds like she's a Dickensian child Occasionally she's out of Les Mis Occasionally she's like from the deep south. I cannot figure out what that accent is other question about Becky Is she Scott's age? Because she's seriously giving off flirt vibes.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I was hoping that she's Scott's age because either any other scenarios, not okay.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

No it's not.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

If it's too young, too old, either way. Not okay.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Not okay. Becky warns Scott not to go down a certain path in the swamp because it's an alligator trap. And Scott says, Aw, she's just a girl. And yeah, he's Matt's son alright. And also, I'd like to Nominate him in the Misogyny subcategory of the Buddy Hawks of Warden.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Yeah, totally deserved because they just rescued the girl and now they're abandoning her in the swamp. Like, It's just, what are you doing, kid? Stop paying attention to the way Matt treats, The women he visits at the medical hospitals in the jungle. Now, that alligator almost murdered Scott. So they're like, yeah, we, maybe we should escort Becky home.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

He wouldn't have.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Yes.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

for the alligator that tried to kill him. Classy move, Scott. Classy move. Well, We are back to Venom driving through the swamp. And it turns out that they tied up Buddy and shoved him in a closet. And uh, we cut to a shot of Buddy in said closet tied up exactly as they said.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

In cinema know that you're supposed to show, not tell this is a case of show and tell cause they talk about it and then they show a shot where he is very much like tied up in a closet.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Mask spots Venom. And it's masks on, here we go. Now Matt can't transform into Thunderhawk because there's too many trees. Again, but can somehow drive in the swamp without any problem, but okay. Sly pours some of the super fuel into Jackhammer while it's still driving. Pretty ballsy move on Sly there. Only two drops. Of the super fuel is put into the fuel tank. And I am so amazed at how precise you can be while they're driving at top speed through a swamp. I clearly have underestimated. Sly.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

mean, he claimed only two drops went in and maybe that's what he wanted him to think, like that he was that cool. And instead it just fumbled the liquid in.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Now here we go, folks. Now we get to see what this super fuel can really do. And what it can cause Jackhammer to do is, apparently, drive around in circles really quickly while knocking down trees. And that is what traps Thunderhawk and Gator. They get surrounded by the felled trees.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

So this was from a scientific perspective, like you've sped the sucker up, but trying to drive around a circle, unless you still have the snow tires and chains on from last episode, You could spin out pretty easily from this.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah. Completely.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

They're like a weird choice on Matt and Dusty's part just to sit there.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

They don't even try to get out.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

They don't try to get out, they're just gonna And then, then he claims we're trapped. And I was like, your vehicles have lasers on them. We've

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

you also have masks with powers. What

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

are you just like, yeah like, do you just feel like you want to take a break? Is that it?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Again, mask writers, use the masks. uh, in the vehicles, you lift up Gator. You fire the ice beam at a tree. Matt uses Deus Ex Helmet out of Spectrum to somehow, sonically or whatever, uh, Or use Backlash to break the tree that's now been frozen. And off they drive. Instead, they sit there, surrounded by trees. Foiled once again. Meanwhile, Scott gets Becky back home. And she says, you're so nice. And Scott says, we better go inside. Like father, like son. Meanwhile, we are back with Miles. He threatens to kill Professor Daly. Unless old Gramps takes Venom to the fire trees.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

did you get the feeling that Gramps had a thing for Professor Daly? Like I was kind of implied there. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yep. Back to Mask. Buddy catches up to Matt and Dusty, and together they clear the trees and set off in pursuit of Venom.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

hold the fucking phone right there. There's no escape scene for buddy. Like we just saw him like tied up, like hog tied, basically like his feet his legs, like he's got like nothing.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Mhm.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

And then, if Matt and Desi are just sitting there, I like they waiting in Thunderhawk with the AC on. Cause like, they're gonna be sweating bullets in those suits.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

They're just sitting there, just like, waiting. Gosh, if only we could chase after Venom, but the trees,

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

The trees. Trees! I hope Buddy is able to use our GPS to find us soon and free us? I Ah ha ha!

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

I hope that Buddy

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

ha! ha! Ah ha

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

To untie himself

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

ha! Ah ha ha! Ah ha! Ah ha!

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Get back at Firecracker and come and help us. Anyways Now we're back inside Gramps house with Scott and Becky and T Bob and they find some lab beakers like a whole kind of chemistry lab Set up and they're cooking sap from the fire trees that they used to light their lamps Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly what they're cooking in a house out in the middle of the bayou Oil for their lamps, okay

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm. 100

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Becky goes on to explain that the trees got sick, so Grandpa went to talk with Professor Daly to see if she could make them well. That's when the trouble started, she says. I mean, get another look at that lab setup. They are absolutely cooking meth in there.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

percent Like this was like, like the first thing I was like, whoa. Okay, what are you doing with this stuff?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

This is right out of Breaking Bad. Like There's no other way to look at this like this is like breaking bad looked at this And said here's how we're going to

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Oh, that's what we should do. We should make this.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah, oh 100 percent and uh Anyway, so the lab setup it separates this glowing gold liquid from this glowing blue liquid And becky says put that in your car and it'll blow you to the moon Hmm says scott It's just, again, clearly, it's drugs.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Brad would

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

drugs.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

that.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Brad would like, blow me to the moon,

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

You know what? You know what? I'm gonna back up something I said earlier. Sly is being really precise with this stuff. He doesn't want to spill a drop because he is so ready to take a hit of it. Sly and Brad are just gonna have the best time at Mardi Gras.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

They're gonna get blown to the moon. All right. Venom now arrives outside of Gramps house. Scott, Becky, and T Bob hide inside a footlocker.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

you know, Like they drive up and this is so unnecessary, but like it's such a fucking like. Insult machine. He's like, what a dump. You don't need to like crap on someone's residence, man. What's your problem?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

dude, where do you live you ride around in a motorcycle that transforms into a submarine pal? Regarding that dump cliff uses torch to open the door And I was about to write in the rundown But then vanessa took the words right out of my mouth when she says can't you open a door like everybody else? But I mean seriously Also in a place that they believe has highly combustible super fuel The plan is, use torch to open the door. That can clearly be kicked down.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Just open the door. I guess it's a testament to Cliff's skills that he only burnt down the door and it didn't catch the rest of the house on fire.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

well, Mask arrives at the cabin, it's into defense mode, and here we go, the end of the episode battle begins. Dusty uses the electric ouch to carve a massive crater in the ground. And Venom falls into it, and then somehow, all the dirt piles on top of them like, they fall into it as they're, like, running out of the building. Thanks for watching. And then magically all the dirt that was kicked up falls on top of them.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I was like, are they dead? that's like a lot of dirt falling back down on them. That's heavy.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

And you see like hands sticking out as if they've been buried alive.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Yeah. congratulations, Dusty. You've ended Venom.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Right. But Vanessa pops out, she fires whip at Matt, who does some of those impressive cartwheels. To get out of the way, Matt fires spectrum and stops Vanessa's whip laser in mid air. Pretty cool. Meanwhile, Scott and Becky sneak out of the house and they secretly fill Venom's vehicles with the blue sap. That will blow them to the moon, as we learned

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

so let's be very clear. What Scott is intending to do here is to murder all of Venom because as far as he knows, if it's going to blow them to the moon what kind of psychopath has he become? Cause he's like, you know what, the best thing to do is to make their vehicles explode.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah. And while Mask is untying Professor and Grandpa Venom tries to escape to their vehicles. Dusty fires Backlash, causing them all to fall down and drop the bottles of yellow liquid, so that's good, so the scheme has failed. But Venom heads off to their vehicles without anyone trying to stop him.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Matt, Dusty, and Buddy don't know about the fuel. They're just like letting them just go.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Just watching them go. The Venom vehicles do in fact go haywire. Jackhammer's kinda like poppin a a a a wheelie. Piranha's goin goin nuts. In fact, we have a Sly Rack's ragdoll award. He flies off of Piranha, and then he grabs onto Switchblade's leg, but then is dragged through the treetops. By switchblade. He's dead.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

He's dead. He should be dead.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

In fact, it seems like he's left for dead because we don't connect with him again. We don't know if he gets into Jackhammer. We don't know. He's, as far as we know, he's dead in the trees, in the swamp.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

have gotten him

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

there you go. So, RIP Sly. We'll see you next episode. Well, It's all done, and Matt puts his hand on Scott's shoulder, and he says, Good job, Scott. And the look in Scott's eyes is the look this is what he's been waiting for his entire life.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

a hundred percent. I just, it's just filled with such like, Oh, I did it. I finally did it. I like to note though, a few episodes back, like Scott saved the day and the United Kingdom's economy and he nearly got punished for it. So What is this give and take? Like, Can Scott trust this or not?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

That's the thing, right? Matt's like this sociopath narcissist, Scott doesn't quite know what to do at any given moment. Anyways so we cut to the denouement of the episode. Fishing and having a picnic. And it turns out that the PNA is going to protect Becky and her grandfather, but not Professor Daly.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if uh, she didn't make it like, you know, she knows too much or something like that.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Yeah.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I do think it was a little fun world building because we've talked in the past, like, why can't Venom do this again? And does this imply that the PNA has some sort of witness protection program or some kind of security operation they put in place? That's not Mask, basically. That's kind of interesting.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

to Top off the scene, Scott secretly pours some of the blue fuel into T Bob. Just remember, folks, Scott just witnessed what happens when you put the fuel into Venom vehicles. So he purposely puts it into T Bob dick move. T Bob is running around like a maniac. He's putting like Bugs Bunny holes in trees that he's running through. And everyone's laughing at him.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I feel there's a huge Roy Batty moment here. Or a prelude moment, at the very least. Heh.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

If you want to know why T Bob went on a killing spree, Here's

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

This. Here's one of the many reasons.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

And that's the episode. We cut to the more you know. We've got Scott and Matt on the side of the road as an ambulance goes by. And Matt asks Scott, Would you know how to get help if there was an emergency? And I guess this was clearly in the pre 911 days. Scott says that, you know, you gotta remember the numbers to the police or fire department. But you can dial zero if you can't remember and the friendly operator will help you. And I'd say well, that's helpful.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Yeah. I think the real answer Scott would have said would have been like Well, I'll just radio you, Dad, on T Bob.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Let's turn to our awards, PJ. Buddy Hawks award. We got a lot. We got two. We got Sly and T Bob in Native American garb, we got Matt's Sitting Bull comment, Scott's misogyny subcategory. What are you thinking?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I think I got a I think Sly and T Bob shopping at the same store is what did it for me. Just, partially because T Bob is just being T Bob, but Sly back when, You know, we had Buddy Hawks in his loincloth uh, Sly was playing dress up as a uh, you know, some sort of native priest there, so we know this is in his DNA, so I feel like this is like, it's Sly and T Bob for me, but I agree on the misogyny sub award for Scott.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

For sure. I'm going to differ with you on the, the Buddy Hawks award. I'm going to give it to Matt for his Sitting Bull comment, specifically because of the pejorative intent behind it. Okay. Like it wasn't like, it wasn't like, you look, you look great sitting bull and it's kind of like, uh, we don't say that anymore. He was using it as an insult. So Matt gets it for me. Father of the year moments.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Uh, you know, Initially it was like, ah, like leaving Scott in the hotel again. And then I realized it was like, no, actually it's taking your son to Mardi Gras is the father of the year award. Because I just, I just don't know who would actually do that. Who would take their 10 year old son to Mardi Gras?

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Venom's operating in the area, Right. So to Mardi Gras. Where a terrorist organization is currently operating. Yep, agreed. Uh, SlyRax has his ragdoll award. He secured it once again. Dead in the trees, eaten by alligators. Mhmm.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Sly. I

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

And uh, the Roy Batty award.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

mean, we just saw it. Scott putting the fuel in T Bob. if this is still not enough, basically, for Scott to get his eyeballs pushed in, I don't know what is. Dun

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Well, that is it, everyone, for episode 21. Episode 22, The Secret of Life, Venom steals an ancient Egyptian tablet from King Tut's tomb, which may contain the secret of life. I'm going to, I'm going to have a lot of philosophical conversations next episode.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

it's fascinating because like we've been in, we just were in Alaska last episode where New Orleans, we're going back international again. So we're heading off to Egypt. Scott apparently doesn't need any sort of like. Schooling. Cause you know, he's learning about the world this way.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

He learned a lot at Mardi Gras, I'll tell you what.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Ha ha ha ha Ha. Okay, so this connects maybe to a theory I have in a later episode. Uh, I think Matt went to Mardi Gras with Scott as his bachelor party and I will, It's

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Scott's his best man.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Scott's his best man. And uh,

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

Okay, yeah, buddy. Well, I mean, I'd Hondo would be invited to the bachelor party though, don't you think?

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

I, I would think so. Unless Matt, Unless Matt is trying to keep it quiet and I'll justify this in a couple of episodes. How about that? So I'll plant the seed here that this was a bachelor party, but only with, with Scott and T Bob.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

All right. Let's see if it pays off. But for now, this podcast has to transform and head back to HQ. I'm Adam Moore,

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

And I am PJ McNerney.

adam_1_09-05-2024_100528:

buh bye.

pj_1_09-05-2024_110528:

Bye bye.

​The mobile armored podcast show is written, produced and edited. Bye Adam Moore. And PJ McNerney.