Mobile Armored Podcast Show

Matt Trakker's South American Love Child

• Adam Moore and PJ McNerney • Season 1 • Episode 30

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Matt Trakker, Scott, and T-Bob are enjoying some down time in Rio de Janiero…with a mysterious woman and a young girl….who might look suspiciously like Matt?!?

What is going on here….?

Oh, also V.E.N.O.M. steals, in the words of Miles Mayhem “a worthless painting”…only to have it turn out to be a map to a hidden stash of gold secreted away (along a lot of military equipment) by a certain infamous Party who may have taken over Germany in the 30s and 40s and fled to South America.

In other words…

Days of Lives meets The Odessa File… in cartoon form.

Come join Adam Moore and P.J. McNerney on the Mobile Armored Podcast Show as we dive into the latest M.A.S.K. episode to expose kids to the horrors of the mid-20th century!!!

https://www.instagram.com/m.a.s.k.podcast/

Adam:

welcome to the mobile armored podcast show, the podcast that transforms into a shanty in the jungle. My name is Adam Moore alongside my cohost and best friend PJ McNerney. How's it going PJ?

PJ:

I'm doing well today. great to be back in the seat especially with the pair of episodes that we've had this one threw me for a loop because as I mentioned last episode, I did not, I don't read the taglines, like I'll, at best, I'll, just be like advancing on YouTube or wherever I'll be watching this thing. And, you know, every tagline on YouTube is the same. Like, when Miles Mayhem kills Andy Tracker to get the masks, Matt Tracker goes off on a quest of vengeance,

Adam:

Right. Yeah.

PJ:

caught off guard in the middle of it pretty hardcore.

Adam:

Yeah. Well, it's episode 30, which I just want to. Note that milestone, that we are at 30 episodes now Venom steals a worthless painting, but Mask learns it really contains a secret map to lost Nazi treasure.

PJ:

here's the thing. You and I have kind of joked slash kind of interrogated the episodes because it feels like the writers have been nippling at the edges, like trying to get close to this idea. like we've seen this like several times now where we're in South America and there's some kind of German scientist involved. like, oh, dinosaur boy had German scientists buying dinosaur blood.

Adam:

Right.

PJ:

Andes had a. Matt Tracker employed German scientists

Adam:

Right. Right. Heh heh heh.

PJ:

riches of Rio Where there's no bones about it. It's Nazi

Adam:

Right.

PJ:

whoa Like I guess this was okay in the 80s This was kind of like

Adam:

Oh. Yeah.

PJ:

to think of another cartoon show that did this

Adam:

Yeah, I mean, you know, some of it is, drafting off of Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark, right? So Nazi supernatural paraphernalia, whatever is out there in the zeitgeist at the time. But yeah, I can't think of another cartoon that's doing Nazi so much. Well, look, we open on the city of Rio de Janeiro, I guess. Because it's called the Lost Riches of Rio, but it doesn't necessarily look like Rio, but we're going to run with it. And we're sort of panning through the jungles. And then, in fact, we reveal we're on a farm, so all this land has been cleared for a big farm in the middle of the jungle. And so that's, you know, I imagine that a lot of rainforest was cleared out to make way for all that land.

PJ:

Los Tracker Industries. I kind of wondered if like, you know, Matt was playing both sides of the middle because I can imagine like him having a subsidiary that is a clearing the rainforest. the same time, like, you know, Getting the peaceful nations alliance to like money to a foundation. He has to stop the clearing the rain for us. then what he does is he takes that money or part of that money to pay the workers clearing the rain forest. And then just says he just halves their hours. then he can say like, Oh, we've reduced clearing by 50%.

Adam:

Well, not to mention whatever cattle they're raising on this, on this farm So he's selling that too.

PJ:

Do you feel like it was weird, like, they're picking Rio de Janeiro, and like, I mean, there's a very significant landmark in Rio de Janeiro

Adam:

Yeah, they don't show it and they don't really use it as a location in the episode. but it does reduce the opportunity for Buddy Hawks Award nominations.

PJ:

is true, I guess. Good point.

Adam:

Well, Matt, Scott, and T Bob, they're sitting on the porch dining with a local woman and her granddaughter, question mark So my first thought was, all right, so a little piece of local action for both father and son here.

PJ:

yeah, let's talk on this one right off the bat, because like, last episode, told Matt about marriage. laughed uncomfortably. And now Matt's visiting a local woman and a girl. I actually, when first watching it, thought it was a daughter. And

Adam:

I did too.

PJ:

later. argue that later on that. Cause that woman seems way too young to be a grandmother. Here's my question to you, Adam. Who is Maria's father?

Adam:

Well, you know, you bring up a good point. She's got the dark hair of her grandmother, but if you look at her face and you look at Scott's face, there is quite the similarity.

PJ:

Okay, so let's, let's dive into this one. Okay, kind of felt like there's two theories, one that made Matt look bad that made him look horrible.

Adam:

None that make them look good.

PJ:

if this is a quest Matt's on to kind of clean up his history? So like he's actually visiting a former lover and his daughter.

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

in which case it's going to be good that Scott's adopted. Okay? For what's to come. so that's, the theory that makes him look bad. He's kind of like, kind of going through and just being like, look, I'm married now. And, you

Adam:

What happened, happened. And you know, I'll keep on paying the support.

PJ:

right? There was another theory I had, which was, what if this is a tracker child, but not Matt?

Adam:

Okay. So it's

PJ:

It's Andes.

Adam:

Okay.

PJ:

But we've also had the theory that Scott could be a clone of Andy. it gets awful if Matt's allowing any of this to happen.

Adam:

I hope I haven't told Gloria about this.

PJ:

so, in me, Adam, always to make stuff worse.

Adam:

Oh, I trust you. So they're still sitting there around the table and Scott's offered tea and it doesn't want any instead. He asked for root beer and Maria doesn't know what it is. She says who would want to drink dirty roots? And then she giggles, and Scott gives her the most withering side eye I've ever seen. I mean, even T Bob is a bit shocked by how withering

PJ:

You've seen this before, where like, you know, you have these girls who are clearly attracted to Scott and kind of, and he's just like not having it whatsoever.

Adam:

no, he's,

PJ:

do you think that, you know, this is a, a factor because he doesn't seem to have any real friends at home,

Adam:

mm hmm.

PJ:

and so he's been socially maladjusted? He doesn't, he doesn't want to form any roots, cause he doesn't know he's leaving in the next day.

Adam:

Unlike his father. That's the exact reason why because he's leaving the next day. and nine months later Maria was born Matt says to Scott remember Scott we're on a mission Senora del Ramos has generously consented display her million dollar art collection of Goya's for charity Okay,

PJ:

So, I mean, we know she's wealthy.

Adam:

Well, she has money from somewhere,

PJ:

Right, that is fair. we don't know how she got that wealth, but she's independently wealthy.

Adam:

Well, Maria then kind of apropos of nothing says to Scott. I can show you something neat. And my thought was, I bet she can.

PJ:

Oh, Scott, you're

Adam:

Oh, oh boy. Well, turns out what she wants to show Scott is a rock collection. And Scott says, who cares about some silly old rocks? I like marbles better. They roll. And I guess Scott and Maria are made for each other because they're both incredibly boring people. Scott likes marbles, she likes rocks. Awesome

PJ:

What depth. Up point, I felt like Scott's going through this emo phase because he's complained this entire time. He's complained about the tea, about having no root beer, wanting to see horses, and now the rock collection. It's like the thrill of international travel is like becoming passe to Scott.

Adam:

mean, it would be for me too. Traveling around my da my dad's transforming flying Camaro T Bobb says, that's it. You two can rock and roll. Now, I was kind of being a bit cheeky throughout this with my hints at a a Scott Maria relationship going on. But Tebop hits it right on the head here.

PJ:

That even he sees it.

Adam:

Right.

PJ:

uh, Like something could happen here.

Adam:

Yeah. Well, suddenly we learn that the girl's painting is missing from her room. She says it wasn't valuable, but it was a present from my grandmother. And then we cut to Vanessa running in the jungle, and Scott looks out the window and appears to see her running away.

PJ:

My thought on this was that of all the venom agents to send creeping into a young girl's room, was in fact the least creepy option.

Adam:

Agreed.

PJ:

sort of shudder to think about a masked cliff or sly climbing into a young girl's room, in full regalia, just like,

Adam:

Yeah,

PJ:

that would be.

Adam:

oh yeah, oh yeah, they definitely dodged a bullet there.

PJ:

It did. I

Adam:

Now, the shot is weird, it cuts to this shot of T Bob climbing out of a second floor window, and Scott and Matt are waiting below. And Matt's examining an alarm system, and he says only one person could cut this with a laser whip, Vanessa Warfield. But it could have been cut by something else too, right?

PJ:

Well, okay, here's, here is like my logic train that Matt is following. His desired result is to

Adam:

Mm hmm.

PJ:

international treaties using his paramilitary group. That's where he needs to get to.

Adam:

Mm hmm.

PJ:

if that is where he needs to get to, Venom must be involved.

Adam:

Agreed.

PJ:

Well, Vanessa is.

Adam:

Mm hmm.

PJ:

uses a laser whip. Oh, the with something. maybe it was a laser whip. So if I say it was a laser whip, and there's only one laser whip in the world, it belongs to Vanessa. And Vanessa's in Venom. All right, let's bring in the paramilitary group.

Adam:

well, Matt says. This is no ice cream social. It's time to call and mask and I'm just I'm having trouble here Were they having ice cream because they weren't they were just having tea. So this is the beginning of my Incredible confusion about the humor in this episode. Like is it just me or is something off? Does it feel like it was? translated poorly from another language? Oh,

PJ:

they translated it to English. I mean, I just thought all this could be explained if we assume that Matt's been day drinking. Or if in fact the tea in question, because what is, what is popular in South America is actually tea made from coca leaves. so it could very well be the case that they're just enjoying a coca leaf tea.

Adam:

so he's just he can't even remember what he was doing 10 seconds ago

PJ:

It was a laser whip. It's not a Ice Cream Social!

Adam:

No more ice cream for us So matt pulls out the briefcase computer and we go into the agent selection scene

PJ:

Specifically, Matt says, Select agents best suited for mission in Rio de Janeiro. And my question to you is, Adam, What kind of criteria do you expect for that?

Adam:

I don't know. I don't know what time of year it is I,

PJ:

to Carnival?

Adam:

maybe, I mean, then I would expect Brad would be chosen, but he's not. So I don't, I don't know exactly. I mean, it's a pretty broad based question. will you be demolishing favelas? Will you be protecting Christ the Redeemer? Like what, Matt? There's a lot going on in Rio.

PJ:

I actually would think that Brad probably would be the last agent chosen, cause he's gonna show up, but won't be part of the mission.

Adam:

Alright.

PJ:

He's just gonna go party, yeah?

Adam:

Well, the agents are Alex Sector, and the computer says broad based scientific knowledge needed. Well, he's playing chess against a chimpanzee, fully clothed by the way, and he's losing. And then the alarm goes off and he, he runs away. And another chimp takes his place So these monkeys are both wearing clothes. They're in a cage. What is he training these monkeys to do?

PJ:

So, I think that this is a a start to of the Apes. Um,

Adam:

Seen any of the recent Planet of the Apes movies, this is almost literally how it begins in training Caesar,

PJ:

What's interesting is that we have chimpanzees playing chess, and famously, we did have that orangutan with the mop. we're getting this, like, slowly developing pattern primates and work,

Adam:

Yeah. I agree. And I will tell you what I would have loved to have seen for season three. Is Matt Tracker and a team of chimpanzees fighting Venom and Miles's train team of chimpanzees. Uh, Well, the second agent selected is Dusty Hayes and he's selected because of his gator vehicle. So they just need the vehicle. I guess they need him cause he's driving it. All right. Now, Dusty is riding a horse. Towards what looks like water. There's like a faucet in the distance dripping water. So I assume that means that the horse is thirsty. Then he gets the call. He turns around and gallops off. Which leads me to believe the horse gets no water?

PJ:

Yeah, I thought the horse died on the way back is

Adam:

Yeah, I would assume.

PJ:

trio of sequences is like they're actually like really well animated. And they do this amazing rack focus on the screen I mean, they go from like the, the faucet in the foreground being blurry. To like, Brad and I was not Brad Dusty in the background and then they, they reverse the focus and it's, and it's really cool. doesn't mean much, but it's awesome.

Adam:

No, it also doesn't Like, since when have we seen Dusty in cowboy gear, riding around the open range on a horse? At least Alex's and Gloria's, which we're about to see, make sense for the characters. Never once has this come up. So it's almost as if the animators were told, It's an American guy named Dusty. Colorado. Like, yeah, okay. Third on the team is Gloria Baker. She's needed because of her shark vehicle. So same deal, I guess they just need her vehicle and not her. now she's in a very kind of speed racer. Moment here. It's an off road race. She pulls up alongside a guy, waves, and then attempts to drive him off the road. She hits the metal, races ahead of him. She gets the call, then turns around and drives past the guy in the opposite direction. And like this other driver is so distracted that he ends up jumping the road and crashing into a river. So Gloria's body count for the episode is one so far.

PJ:

I loved how she tried to directly kill someone and then she indirectly killed that person.

Adam:

Either way it worked.

PJ:

Also she's got her mask watch like hanging on the steering wheel, which is pretty cool.

Adam:

Yeah. That's kind of bad ass.

PJ:

It's kind of bad ass.

Adam:

Also, did you notice, I'm looking at it now, does her helmet have like a heart on it?

PJ:

It does have a heart on it.

Adam:

That's adorable. I mean, say what you will, Gloria has been consistent from day one. She is not to be trifled with.

PJ:

Never,

Adam:

Well, we cut to the radiation chamber of death and then we roll out to Rio from Boulder Hill. I assume they're probably going to whatever airport the mask jet is hangered.

PJ:

Side note, how many times do you think Buddy has to watch a whole team shuffle into Boulder

Adam:

Silence.

PJ:

you know the rules, Buddy. Can you, can you, can you top off the, the wiper fluid please?

Adam:

Back at the ranch in the Amazon, Matt tells Scott that he, T Bob and Maria will have to go off site scene. While Mask tackles Venom. More sightseeing.

PJ:

mean, again, it's, it's either hotel or sightseeing with these, with this guy. Uh, The statement right before that is Senora Del Ramos and I have something important to discuss. don't you and T Bob go sightseeing with Maria? And I really felt like was a lot of body language speaking volumes with

Adam:

Mm hmm.

PJ:

just looking a little downtrodden at that moment.

Adam:

Well, and their, their hands are very close to touching. there may even be some physical contact between Matt and the grandmother or slash mother here. So, it's gonna be a tough conversation. But now, I wanna take a look at Matt's decision here to get mask involved beyond what you said, right, which is he wants to violate some international treaties, but three things. So first, Matt's just cool with going after venom. For a worthless old painting, right? There has been established. There is no value to this painting whatsoever, but that is his, that's like check one, all right, going after venom, but the painting is worthless. Doesn't matter. It could have been a box of Legos all I care. Second, we have a father of the year moment here, as we pointed out go off and, you know, Sightsee somewhere.

PJ:

Rio is not especially known for being safe.

Adam:

No, I mean, some areas are I'm sure. And some aren't, but like, you know, there's also an international terrorist organization around once again. Now, third, when Scott complains about having to go sightseeing, Matt says. Unless you'd like to stay for another tea party, and that's kind of sexist, but okay. But Scott's reply is, Now I understand why the Indians dump tea in the harbor. So we've got ourselves a Buddy Hawks nomination here. Right? Plus a complete misunderstanding of the events of the Boston Tea Party. And also, finally, a complete non sequitur, like,

PJ:

It's a hundred percent. Like, it's like how do we, how do I connect this? we'll make it a Boston Tea Party related.

Adam:

but it's like the same thing as, as Matt talking about the ice cream social, like there must be some disconnect here between whatever language this episode is written in and whatever language we're viewing it in, because it does not make sense.

PJ:

Yeah. There's a

Adam:

Unless the writer is straight up crazy, and that's highly possible.

PJ:

I mean, we've seen it before. I kind of like the idea of some producer coming in and said, we've gotten some feedback and we need to figure out how to make something historically inaccurate and racist in the most efficient way possible. And all the writer says is, hold my cocaine. We get a great little response here though, because like they, they decide to like, they want to poke at that joke one more time. So Maria just basically says, do Indians in your country drink tea, senior Scott? Scott is just doesn't even respond. He's just like,

Adam:

He just shrugs. And it is, it's actually a really morose looking scene. This could be out of a French New Wave film. She's staring ahead solemnly. He's got his eyes closed, shrugging. We have to post this on PJ, because this really could be a shot. Out of the French New Wave It's, or, or, or uh, what am I thinking? Like a Scandinavian film,

PJ:

we should put, put it up to caption this shot.

Adam:

Venom's Hideout, well, what's Miles doing here?

PJ:

wordlessly drawing on the painting, or at least it's glass.

Adam:

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

PJ:

magnifying glass on one of his eyes. And my immediate thought was like, Is this what's inspiring Maximus with his monocle in the second season?

Adam:

that's how you tell them apart, right? One's got the monocle and one doesn't. Yeah. now in this whole episode. And it kicks off here. There is something going down between Sly and Vanessa.

PJ:

yeah,

Adam:

because when the scene opens, Vanessa says, and this kind of apropos of nothing, that was a waste. And Sly says, what was that thing? And Vanessa says, I made it especially for you, we kind of see it in the foreground and it's very unclear what it is. It's like some sort of blob on the floor. maybe like a chicken pot pie or something. I, I don't know, but there's nonetheless, there's something odd going on between them.

PJ:

is. And I thought it was like, I don't know. I thought it was like, you know, some blob of bread or something like that. Because it's like tan looking and on the floor. Yeah, you're right. It's like a chicken pot pie.

Adam:

but she's like, I made it especially for you, what is up with you, Vanessa?

PJ:

Yes. Yes. There's like this weird flirtation vibe. Where Vanessa is actually especially aggressive on Sly this entire time.

Adam:

Yeah, she really is. Miles reveals that the painting is actually a map and he's searching this painting for the path to Hidden gold and sly says you can't eat gold or anything. Vanessa cooks either. Yuck. It's like this team needs some group therapy.

PJ:

But immediately following that, like Vanessa, and maybe we should put, we should post this as well. Like Vanessa settles up right

Adam:

Yeah. Yeah.

PJ:

this very like seductive way.

Adam:

Mm hmm.

PJ:

your stomach tell the difference? And I was like, what does that mean? And, like, Miles says to Sly, forget your hunger pangs, Rax, gold is food of the gods, and I intend to savor every morsel. owing to the translation thing you said earlier, the only explanation I said, what if Sly's on a trip right now, why, it's from his perspective, everyone's talking and acting insane.

Adam:

Could be the ayahuasca could be bad translation. Maybe it's somewhere in between. Maybe it's both, but we continue forward. Meanwhile, Scott, Maria, and T Bob are sightseeing in a marketplace and Maria sees a beautiful ring and T Bob suggests to Scott that he buy it for her. And Scott says, I've already got a ring right through my nose. What is he talking about? Again, I feel like I'm, in an altered state right now.

PJ:

This was the part where I really got on board with your translation theory. Because I, and I'm, I'm going to, try my fucking best on this Okay. Which is that maybe Scott is trying to say, he's got a ring around his nose, like a bull pulled around by Maria. and maybe it's like an idiom that's much more used in another language. got straight up translated. So maybe it's familiar someplace else, but not here.

Adam:

Yeah, we will have to research that and find out. But of course, you know that we don't do much research, so they go to a market stall and this was the one where the mother slash grandmother question mark bought the valueless painting that was stolen from Maria's bedroom. But they don't find anything like it. And, Maria says it was just a picture of Indians and sugarloaf mountain. So Scott then. Pieces it together and they decide to take the cable car up Sugarloaf Mountain to search for clues to help mask. Why not? How else can we get you in potential danger?

PJ:

Scott's bored already.

Adam:

Well, Venom is investigating some ancient ruins and Sly is just kind of like kicking back in the sidecar of Piranha. Vanessa picks up an old picture that they must have found during their search of the ruins. She finds a crab in it. And she throws it away, and it lands on Sly's nose, kind of clamping its claw down on him. And again, what is going on with Sly and Vanessa?

PJ:

So, I think been trying something just to see if they can make something work.

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

really gotten into it. Sly is like, thinks it's too rough. Vanessa thinks Sly is now just playing part of the game. And she doesn't respect the fact that no means no.

Adam:

They don't have a safety word. And, by the way, I want to just say that I'm happy Bruce isn't on this mission. Because clearly, Vanessa has moved on. Now Sly might not be the right person to move on to? But, or is this a rebound? I don't know, but I would, I just would not want Bruce to see what's happening here, is all I have to say.

PJ:

say, like, I don't know what their game is, man. they, got their own thing happening and don't want to judge it. I don't want to, I never want to judge it. And, and, you know, whatever they're, you know, the twisting paths that, that are between the two of them.

Adam:

Yeah, no judgment here, folks. But Miles is frustrated. He says he must have missed something on the map, but what? Dot, dot, dot. Meanwhile Matt and Alex, they're working in the Rhino computer room in the back there, and they discovered that they need to go up Sugarloaf Mountain. And there's lots of dad jokes in here, which there's too many to mention. I don't want to get into all of them. But I'd also like to note that Matt does not have Thunderhawk in this episode.

PJ:

Yeah. That's a really interesting thing. He's in his ultra flash uniform.

Adam:

Mm hmm.

PJ:

seen since episode four.

Adam:

Gloria Spots venom on the beach below so they all hop into their vehicles and they take off and we enter the mid episode mask venom battle We've We've got gator Taking on Jack Hammer and Piranha at the same time. And he manages to disable both of them. Matt fires two rockets from Rhino at Switchblade causing Miles to lose control and go careening towards the Sugarloaf Mountain cable cars. And we do this zoom in on Matt's mask, which is actually a pretty cool little zoom in. And it reveals that Scott, T Bob and Maria are on board the cable car. So it's Matt's fault that Scott is in danger once again. They would have been fine had he not fired rockets at Switchblade. So Switchblade kind of careening out of control, fires its lasers ends up hitting the cable of the cable cars, causing it to disconnect, the cable car goes swinging, and Matt has this really terrifying scream, like it's, rattles vocal cords when you hear this guy do that.

PJ:

he is deep throated in this screen right now. He is like, really afraid.

Adam:

I've never heard him that concerned about Scott before. Maybe

PJ:

about Scott before.

Adam:

because both his children are on the cable car?

PJ:

Maybe. I thought Miles was either being really clever here and continuing to fire in order to create a distraction, or he's just like and holding down the button

Adam:

Yeah. Well, Venom escapes. While Mask rushes to save Scott, T Bob, and Maria. But it does not look good. The cable is fraying. It's about to snap. PJ, what's gonna happen?

PJ:

I don't know, I think Scott and Maria's gonna die and T Bob does not.

Adam:

Well, we'll find out after these messages.

Mask doesn't know what it's getting into. We'll be right back. Now back to mask and venom.

Adam:

And we are back. When we left you, Scott, T Bob, and local girl Maria were about to fall to their doom. There's lots of doom falling in this TV series, huh?

PJ:

You know, one would think with the number of times that Fallen to One's Doom is involved, they would install a parachute into T Bob, or rockets, or Jackrabbits.

Adam:

yeah. Jackrabbit was what I was thinking, for sure. Because Matt's big idea to save them is not jackrabbit, or using the anti grab guns on Rhino or anything like that. His big idea is to fire lasers at the cable to weld the pieces back together. Like, other than firing indiscriminately Towards the cable car. His son is in would have been a better choice.

PJ:

What I loved is that they have Rhino and Backlash, like Dusty's there firing Backlash randomly,

Adam:

Yeah, I know.

PJ:

which has known to be a force pusher, like,

Adam:

Yeah, right. Why would it be able to generate any heat?

PJ:

right, right. like, how terrifying is it from the point of view of the folks inside the car, because you have no communication, right? It's like, why is dad shooting at us?

Adam:

Also just one thought Gloria could have used aura as well Which in fact she does later in the episode to protect someone. Well Alex in fact suggests Jackrabbit. But instead, we go the path of insanity here. T Bobcarries, Scott, and Maria transforms into scooter mode and drives across the wire, them to safety. And he's got this menacing look in his eyes. I believe he clearly wanted to scare these kids.

PJ:

I mean, it's this look he's got. I mean, I agree. It's something insane. He's definitely scaring the kids. He's in it. He's kind of saving the day again. And I wonder his saving the day face because this is the same look he had when he blew away blackout.

Adam:

Yeah, it's true. Well, I think it's just a sign that he's Getting closer and closer to his Roy Batty moment.

PJ:

Speaking of which,

Adam:

Yeah, When T Bob drops Scott and Maria into the arms of Matt and Alex, but T Bob, he falls off the wire, hits the ground. And what does everyone do? They all laugh at T Bob. he just saved their lives, then hits the ground, and they bust out laughing.

PJ:

it's like zero respect, no checking if he's okay.

Adam:

Nothing at all. Well, Scott keeps the secret of Mask's identity, like he just tells Maria, These are friends of mine. And Matt sends them off on their own recognizance. Go on. Continue on your sightseeing. Yeah, with Venom right out there. Excellent idea. Yeah. Father of the year nominee.

PJ:

Father of the year once again

Adam:

once the brats are gone, Matt takes off his helmet and reveals that he planted a homing device on switchblade, that's good. He calls it a homing device though, but it's like a. It's like a listening device, isn't it?

PJ:

it's a homing slash listening device. And something just occurred to me right now, he's able to plant a homing device on switchblade. What's the difference between that and planting a bomb to end the threat of Venom once again, once and for all?

Adam:

I will make a vie for the writer's defense award here, and I will say that Matt was concerned that if he blew up Switchblade it would most certainly careen into the cable car and kill his son and daughter.

PJ:

Okay, I'm gonna push back. he could have detonated it long after.

Adam:

is true. Counterpoint. What if the radio transmitter has a limited range?

PJ:

Okay, well I guess it's more limited than the listening device they have on there? wait till you can hear them, when they're in range, you detonate it. Done.

Adam:

Well, he does seem to want the gold.

PJ:

but to date, right now, we'll get into this, it's just a painting. We don't know anything about gold.

Adam:

That's right. Oh, the, the, the extents to which he's willing to go for a worthless painting. So we're back with Venom and they're chanting in the jungle. And Mayhem can't figure out the map on the painting. So we ask Sly and Cliff to take a look. Like, not Vanessa, the most capable of Venom agents? Like, this is the guys, He's constantly insulting for their lack of intelligence and he tosses the painting to them.

PJ:

I wanted to, I, I put this up for a Buddy Hawks nominee for the sexism subcategory,

Adam:

Okay. Sure.

PJ:

because this was clearly like a stupid move on Miles's part. And again, take a beat, Venom and Mask have moved a lot of materiel. Had a battle, endangered children, so far over a painting from the marketplace that was stolen from a young girl's bedroom. Now, someone goes into a young girl's bedroom and, like, steals a Hello Kitty painting, like, do you expect this much commotion?

Adam:

Right, I mean they've destroyed the Sugarloaf Mountain cable car like that's that's done for weeks if not months for sure Gloria killed a man in Attempt to get to Boulder Hill quickly

PJ:

Dusty's killed a horse.

Adam:

All for a worthless painting. Well, so, Miles tosses the painting. Cliff doesn't lift a finger, he's just like lounging on a lounge chair. And Vanessa brings out a pot of coffee. Sly pours some, he sips it, and then he spits it out, saying she could kill someone with her coffee. And Vanessa says, here's mud in your eye, throws the coffee brewer at Sly, he ducks, the coffee spills all over the painting. Now, Sly's line is, lousy pitch, Vanessa. But it sounds like lousy bitch, Vanessa.

PJ:

Whatever's happening between these two, one of them is ending up in a closet with a rope tied around them dead because it went too far.

Adam:

Yeah, it's, it's getting icky. Now, the coffee, which has spilled all over the painting, washes the paint away and a map is revealed. The map, and this is where we, Learn the truth. It's the map showing the Nazi gold. wait, what? since when have the Nazis been involved here?

PJ:

That's exactly right. This is my what the fuck moment of this episode. When I saw it, I was like, oh, my and that's when it crystallized, like, whoever's writing this basically has just associated South America with Nazis and masks.

Adam:

Well, also. Nazi gold is one thing, but as we're going to learn, there's a lot more than just Nazi gold So it gets very confusing here. But we go back to Rhino, Matt and company are listening in on Venom's conversations and Alex has heard stories of Nazi Raiders bringing gold to South America for safekeeping. Okay. But he never thought they were true.

PJ:

Where did he hear these stories? Like, again, was he just like he, Oh, I watched the movie marathon man and the Odessa file and boys from Brazil. And I heard these stories from the movies And then Scott is like super excited. And again, I was really disturbed by this line. Did you hear that T Bob? Nazi gold.

Adam:

I know, it's so bizarre. And by the way, you mentioned Scott and T Bob are there. What happened to Maria? Scott and T Bob walked away and she was left alone to kind of find her own way home. So Alice gets the coordinates of where they're going by listening to Miles. And he says,

PJ:

job of thinking through this. Like, what are the kids going to ask, Hey, where did the Nazi gold come from, mom and dad? again, it was one thing for us to kind of joke about in prior episodes. I feel like we have been vindicated though.

Adam:

I agree.

PJ:

writers have been doing this entire time. I mean, again, I get it. It's the eighties kind of goofball Nazi thing, but it's really callous.

Adam:

Well, yeah, for sure. And I'm curious to see if it's going to pop up in more episodes. So we'll keep tracking that.

PJ:

We will.

Adam:

so Vanessa discovers the homing device and deactivates it, but it's okay. Cause Alice has got the coordinates, coordinates. It's going to be, it's going to be fine. So then we cut to Venom inside a cave with all their vehicles inside, including Switchblade. So once again, a giant cave appears. In the mask series. So there's that now they're looking around for the gold, but what we also see there are like old Nazi tanks in other gear. So we're to believe that the bunch of Nazis loaded weapons and tanks and gold on to a boat. I'm guessing. to Brazil, to then hide them all in a cave.

PJ:

again, this is like out of the Odessa file or boys from Brazil where the Nazis are stockpiling their weapons and gold to make their grand return.

Adam:

Well, Sly smells awful. Some spoiled food and he asks Vanessa, Hey, did you make this? And in response, Vanessa pops out of a tank with a bazooka and she points it at sly

PJ:

Again, Vanessa is playing a very different game than Sly. I had a question for you though, where did Vanessa find that helmet?

Adam:

Right. She's wearing a Nazi helmet. I mean, inside the tank,

PJ:

right.

Adam:

assume

PJ:

Like, did she get it off of a body?

Adam:

that's a great question.

PJ:

mean, she's just like, whatever. I'm just gonna wear this.

Adam:

And she's just pointing a bazooka, randomly. Well, what they discover is that the gold has been dumped into a pool of water in the cave that is filled with piranhas. Not the vehicle, but the flesh eating fish. Meanwhile, while searching for where Venom went, Dusty steps on a landmine and survives! So there's a ragdoll nomination right there.

PJ:

yeah, this scene where the explosion happens is like, you know, he's dead.

Adam:

I mean, now, it turns out that Gloria used aura, and that's how he was saved. But the time between when the explosion happens And when aura is triggered, I don't think that it's math. The math ain't mathing. she's protecting a charred body is what's really happening here. But anyways, RIP dusty. We'll see you again in a few seconds. Meanwhile, Sly is in Piranha, like underwater, scooping up all the gold, and Switchblade is lifting the gold out of the water when Mask shows up. Matt fires Rhino's lasers, cuts the rope from the big net that Switchblade was using, sending all the gold back into the water. And crushing Piranha, with Sly in it. Now he escapes barely, but we kinda got a ragdoll award here for sure.

PJ:

definitely, because that gold would have crushed him. Like gold is heavy.

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

I kind of thought they were, this was something that surprised me. I thought they're going to go with a stronger joke of piranha in a lake with piranhas

Adam:

Well that would have been an obvious joke to go with, which actually kinda would have been funny. We cut to Jackhammer. Jackhammer's on Gator's tail. And there's some more water up ahead. But instead of going into boat mode, Dusty decides to freeze the water instead. But he actually does a cool move, because he turns around, and then uses the ice as a ramp to jump over Jackhammer, and then backlashes Cliff onto the ice. So, cool move. Good job. Glad you're alive, Dusty. And then we have the obligatory Shark Manta battle. It's a card chase. Gloria sends Vanessa off the cliff and into the water. Which is actually a nice little callback to her escape scene at the beginning of the episode.

PJ:

Yeah, I kind of really felt like they were paying that off here, showing what kind of a badass driver she was, because she does nearly the same thing here, and because he goes into the water. And then Manta goes into the water, but right afterwards, and again, it shows you her mindset. You've got this scene where they're on Gloria laughing at putting Vanessa in the water.

Adam:

Yeah, she's very happy with that.

PJ:

Yeah.

Adam:

So we've got Vanessa, Sly, and Cliff all having fallen into a pool of water filled with piranhas. So do we have a mass ragdoll nomination here? Are they all eaten to death?

PJ:

I mean, only kinda. So now we're going to go to nature corner. Piranhas got their vicious reputation from Theodore Roosevelt, believe it or and very specifically his writings, because I don't think it was him intentionally, but good Was visiting South America and the natives wanted to put on a show.

Adam:

Mm hmm.

PJ:

they did is they sectioned off a part of the Amazon they left piranhas in there for days without food. So they starved these piranhas out And then they put a live cow into the water, which was devoured instantly. it gave rise to the popular imagery we have today.

Adam:

No way.

PJ:

yeah, in reality, people actually swim with piranhas all the time, just like people swim with sharks.

Adam:

Huh? Well, I have, I have to be honest, I was today years old when I discovered this about piranhas.

PJ:

Yeah, it's a fun story. People should look it up.

Adam:

Well, the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland has been lying to me for years. Back to the battle. Miles fires a rocket at Rhino, but Rhino survives. Like, very sturdy machine, they've got there. Then Matt says something weird. He says there's gotta be a way to stop mayhem without firing missiles. So I'm not sure why that's important.

PJ:

the only explanation I had was that if the missiles miss, they'd hit the top of the cave and collapse it on them.

Adam:

Okay,

PJ:

for what they're about to do. Like, you know, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, my explanation. So like,

Adam:

Well, because here's what happens. Alex says, According to my calculations, simple harmonic motion can be activated by the y coordinates on the vibration weapon. Is there a science corner here to go into?

PJ:

This was my weight. What? So here's my science corner evaluation. Alex is talking bullshit. I mean, no one will be able to see this on the podcast, but like, in terms of like. What is a simple harmonic motion on the y coordinates of a vibration weapon?

Adam:

going up and down.

PJ:

Up and down.

Adam:

basically, what this means for Alyx is, they start hitting the cave wall with Rhino's battering ram, causing stalactites to fall on Switchblade. Could have caved in the whole cave, I imagine. So, not sure why they didn't use rockets. But, nonetheless, Venom escapes, but Mask has got the gold. are they going to keep the gold for themselves?

PJ:

I had this like, thought, where like, Matt's like, Hey everybody, let's take a beat here. No one knew about this gold prior to this moment. if we don't take it, what's to stop Venom from coming back? Keepin

Adam:

Sure, so we'll divvy it up evenly. I will get 90 percent of it. You all can share the other 10%. And uh, we'll just keep this a secret between the Four of us. Well, we cut to a beautiful sunset on the ranch, and Matt says goodbye to Senora Del Ramos, thanking her for all her help.

PJ:

it very professional. Handshake. You know, and I was wondering what her help was. I mean, basically, is it the Goya paintings? Like, because that's really,

Adam:

Yeah, I, I, I don't know. But the look shared between the two of them, there's definitely It's a heavy look. There's a lot of meaning. There's a lot of meaning there Well, Scott and T Bob show up with a painting and a shovel to show Maria. They're going to go pan for gold. T Bob says fool's gold is more like it. And they all start laughing. of the final note here that this episode was either translated from another language or was written by someone. On acid or both.

PJ:

It occurred to me like the implication here is Scott now has a belief that every worthless painting in the marketplace is actually a map to Nazi gold. So.

Adam:

Totally. Well, we cut to the more, you know, Scott and Tiva were playing hide and seek. T Bob falls out of a fridge, and Scott says, T Bob, you should never hide in a fridge. And I just think a better lesson would be, don't play hide and seek in a junkyard. he's the son of a billionaire. Why are they in a junkyard?

PJ:

well, why is it Scott playing at a park with other children? Oh, right. He has no friends. In fact, the only mention of any friends is way back in Assault on Liberty, when he was going to go to a friend's house

Adam:

Oh yeah. To do magic.

PJ:

Where's this landfill located, Adam? You think it's on Tracker property? Like, it's actually just part of the massive, like, property that's there,

Adam:

So yeah. So what we see in the background is it's like all these crushed cars. And I wonder if it's. All the mask vehicles that were blown up during previous missions. And so he's got to destroy them there because he can't let them be destroyed out there in the wild.

PJ:

Right.

Adam:

Rider's defense fund. I'm going for it again.

PJ:

And as a perk, the mask agents get to dump their trash there, which is how that old refrigerator made it there.

Adam:

Well, that is it for episode 30. So let's Check out the skills that the computer selected for each agent. Alex Sector was chosen for his broad based scientific knowledge.

PJ:

And so the closest this comes to pass is Alex talking gibberish about vibration on the Y axis,

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

which really meant use the battering ram to hit the wall until the stalactites fall, which anyone could have figured out. So minus as far as I'm concerned.

Adam:

Alright. Dusty Hayes was chosen because his vehicle is Gator.

PJ:

Well, Gator did disable both Piranha and Jackhammer in the first battle by canyon walls and then froze the lake to stop Jackhammer in the second battle,

Adam:

Okay. I agree with that one. And then Gloria was chosen because her vehicle is Shark.

PJ:

Yeah, so as far as I could tell, there was nothing that Shark did in the first battle. Then went toe to toe in the second battle, but honestly, is Shark involved or is it Gloria's skills? So,

Adam:

Yeah. Agreed.

PJ:

driving skills, much higher grade. But the computer was like, Shark, B

Adam:

Yeah. Agreed with all those. Moving on to our awards for the episode. The Slyrax Ragdoll Award. I think the most obvious one is Dusty and the Landmine.

PJ:

Oh yeah, easy. That he's, he dead.

Adam:

Yeah, he's dead. R. I. P. Dusty. We will see you next episode.

PJ:

Oh, I wanted an honorable mention

Adam:

Oh, please. Yeah. Yeah,

PJ:

And I think it's funny. Cause in one case she kills and the other one she saves

Adam:

I see, I don't think the driver gets a ragdoll award because I think he's dead.

PJ:

there. Okay. call.

Adam:

The Buddy Hawks award. What do you got?

PJ:

I got Scott for his Indians dumping tea in Boston Harbor

Adam:

Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that one as well. Roy Batty moment of the episode for T Bob?

PJ:

I really thought it was like. T Bob, you know, just saved two kids, and then happened to fall over, and they just started laughing at him. So, like, I really felt like that is like, what do you want from me? Like, that was my Roy Batty moment.

Adam:

Yeah, totally, Father of the Year, Matt Tracker.

PJ:

almost in the same beat, letting the kids go after they nearly died, with Venom still out there.

Adam:

yeah, agreed, And is this episode Panda Poo? Yes or no?

PJ:

I mean, I'm, I I don't think it is. I mean, I actually think the animation's pretty good. It goes back to some old maps mask tropes with cave. we've, we've asserted the trope of South American Nazis miles obsession with old maps. I will say it is, you know, barely not panda poo.'cause the dialogue is insane.

Adam:

Well, see, I give it Pandapoo for the dialogue itself. I mean, it's not the worst, it's not the worst one ever, for sure. It is not the worst one ever, ever. But, dialogue alone crosses the line for me. So, I'm sorry, I think it's Pandapoo.

PJ:

Panda poo. All right.

Adam:

Well, that is episode 30. Episode 31, the title is on the nose, it's called Deadly Blue Slime. Mask goes to Africa to stop a botched experiment that has created a deadly blue slime that consumes everything in its path. Interesting. Okay. Well,

PJ:

is that there's no mention of Venom in this.

Adam:

that's right. I would assume Venom is behind the deadly blue slime though.

PJ:

maybe. This is actually kind of interesting. It'd be kind of cool to have another sort of like Rotex thing where it was like some other

Adam:

Mm hmm.

PJ:

that Venom wants to take advantage of. But I guess we'll find out.

Adam:

We will, we will find out next episode, but for now, this podcast has to transform and head back to HQ. I am Adam Moore.

PJ:

And I am PJ McNerney.

Adam:

Bye bye.

PJ:

Bye bye.

The mobile armored podcast show is written, produced and edited. Bye Adam Moore. And PJ McNerney.