Mobile Armored Podcast Show

Bruce Sato vs. Dusty Hayes

• Adam Moore and PJ McNerney • Season 1 • Episode 32

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Here's a great idea for an episode of a children's cartoon: a disgraced finance minister decides to manipulate currency in order to cause an economic collapse. What ten-year-old wouldn't like that? At least we have plenty of Dad jokes, a goat attacking T-Bob, and... oh, yeah... Bruce threatening to beat up Dusty. Buckle up! It's another episode of the Mobile Armored Podcast Show!

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Adam:

Welcome to the mobile armored podcast show, the podcast that transforms into the Berlin wall. My name is Adam Moore alongside my cohost and best friend, PJ McNerney. How's it going PJ?

PJ:

We've got a sad note from recently. David Lynch, who was

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

much inspiration from mask, passed away.

Adam:

Yeah. I mean, that's a big name in just cinema in general. Someone who defined cinema for decades, and I think in a lot of ways, especially with Twin Peaks really redefined what could be done on TV. But of course, all of it stems from clearly his love for mask.

PJ:

It's true.

Adam:

in 77, he made a racer head. 1980 is the elephant man, but 84 is dune,

PJ:

Which is really the nadir of his career, right? So, like, he turned down Return of the Jedi, famously, So what, what turns around the corner for him, like he is, oh, is when mass comes out. So he's like, down in the dumps,

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

some cartoons, and suddenly he sees miles sitting in a rocking chair.

Adam:

Yeah. And then he makes the two best films, blue velvet and wild at heart. So yeah, I mean. I don't think there's any other way to look at it. Mask created David Lynch. Well, in memory of David Lynch, let's dive in to episode 32, the currency conspiracy. In the Swiss Alps, masks must stop venom from using an organism that eats the ink of printed money, rendering the bills worthless at the behest of a corrupt finance minister.

PJ:

I really wonder like, you know, it's like, okay, I'm gonna pitch you this story. Kids are gonna really get the economic implications of what this means.

Adam:

really, it seems like the writer of this episode was writing like other shows and then they asked like, Hey, could you just come in and do one for us? Like it's probably like doing like TV drama or something like that. And I could just write a quick episode for us. Like, Oh yeah, sure. How about one about corruption in the German finance ministry? I well, we open on the beautiful Swiss Alps and we pan down to Geneva, Switzerland. I kind of question whether or not that's actually Geneva. I don't think they used the right reference art for it, But then we, we get inside what turns out to be a bank and we're with Matt, Scott, and of course, T Bob. Uh, Matt asks Scott, well, in France, you bought pastries. In Germany, you bought sausage. What are you looking for in Switzerland?

PJ:

like already with this line, I was like, okay, they're on a European vacation, living it up. I kind of thought, okay, there's one version where they're literally just kind of touring from city to city.

Adam:

hmm.

PJ:

What about these sort of like inevitable? You're going on this massive European vacation. Where's Gloria?

Adam:

Exactly.

PJ:

I had one theory that's the happy theory, which is that there's a host of racing and or karate related events happening in Europe. And they're kind of touring through it. And Gloria has gone on ahead.

Adam:

Okay.

PJ:

that makes her unavailable, that's my happy theory.

Adam:

Sure.

PJ:

is. Is Matt's just being a bon vivant and just trying to clean up his mess, like, back in Brazil

Adam:

a girl in every port. And he's just trying to clean up his history now that he's married. I definitely would say the second one is far more likely knowing Matt. I just want to go back to the things that Scott has bought. in France he went for pastries, in Germany he went for sausage. What we'll find out is he's going to buy chocolate in Switzerland. Is Scott hungry? Is he not being fed? That's why he's going for food, I

PJ:

he is presumably still at a, prepubescent stage, And he hasn't grown in the, what, six months that we've seen. and there's frequent times where we see him cooking in the kitchen.

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

I do want to back up your theory. Like, you know, Scott's hungry.

Adam:

And it's actually a recurring thing throughout the series, In many places, he's, carrying a bag of potato chips, for example, in the episode in Africa.

PJ:

trying to get whatever calories he can in

Adam:

Well, Scott reaches into his pocket and he pulls out a giant wad of cash. Did you see that? It's like, it's not Deutschmarks, it's like a hundred dollar bills that he pulls out.

PJ:

I love how he has no clue Like it's so casual and he like treats that money with such like whatever.

Adam:

Scott says there's only one thing I want to buy here. I was like, I'm wondering, is it Nazi gold?

PJ:

not explicitly in this episode, don't you worry? Nazis are coming back really soon

Adam:

Ah, good. Scott says he wants Swiss chocolate. And he says, I'd rather have chocolate than be in shape. I want to spend all my money on chocolate.

PJ:

It's a crazy line, and all I thought to myself was, I want to buy diabetes. That's what he's asking for.

Adam:

By the way, meanwhile, T Bob has dressed in lederhosen.

PJ:

why?

Adam:

It's not even a solid, Buddy Hawks nomination he's not insulting the culture at all. It's not even cultural appropriation. It's just, he's wearing lederhosen.

PJ:

This feels comfortable.

Adam:

So like I said, they're at a bank and Scott is trying to exchange his money for Swiss francs. However, the banker is astonished when the ink disappears and the money is suddenly blank. And it turns out all the money, specifically all the Deutschmarks, are disappearing in this bank. And I want to point out that this makes Matt really, really angry. I have not seen Matt angrier in this show ever. Like, nothing makes him angrier than losing money.

PJ:

It's true. it'd be great to kind of go back and keep track of all the things that upset Matt. whenever Scott rides on the handlebars,

Adam:

Of a bike, he gets really pissed off. Yep.

PJ:

Whenever he's not called by a research institute that something's going wrong, like

Adam:

huh.

PJ:

the brain,

Adam:

That's right.

PJ:

petulant on, on

Adam:

Yeah. Yep.

PJ:

whatever his trains capabilities that he's riding on are called him to question.

Adam:

My train would never do that.

PJ:

And you know what? I think ties everything together, except his upsetness at Scott is it's when you're right. Whenever money's involved, specifically his money,

Adam:

Yeah. no one touches my money. Well, we cut to T Bob ice skating on a pond, and uh, Scott and Matt are sitting on a bench. And Matt says, that bank is holding more than just my interest. Again, Matt can't let go of it. He is super pissed about losing money.

PJ:

great that he's intersected both being really pissed off with a bad dad joke at the same time.

Adam:

Totally. Well, while Matt has the briefcase computer open to track down liens, T Bob. Is being chased and bitten by a goat and then crashes into a bridge, I didn't know anything about random goats running around Geneva and attacking people, but okay.

PJ:

I wonder if they were like, oh, I saw this National Geographic where there's goats on the Swiss Alps and, they saw the cover and then they just presumed basically that goats attack people.

Adam:

The infamous feral goats of Geneva with a taste for human flesh. So the briefcase computer determines that Baron Fritz the former finance minister of West Germany might be involved in this case. Matt says, and he lives right here. So PJ, let us pause now and break down who Baron Fritz von Hauser is, what his connection to. Pre partitioned Germany might be, and why exactly he's living in Switzerland.

PJ:

Yeah, that's a good question. A couple of things. He's got the title Baron. Right? Unless that's a first name, which is possible, but I kind of didn't think so. So, he probably comes from Prussian nobility. So, like, he's got some sort of, like, aristocratic bent to him. there was a question of how old do we think the Good Baron is? Like, I think max he's in his early 50s.

Adam:

Yeah, I was thinking 60s, like maybe early 60s, but okay. Yeah.

PJ:

I mean, we had like, our German scientists back in South America. We

Adam:

Mm hmm.

PJ:

the 60s. so I thought he would probably only been a child in pre partition in Germany. you sort of wonder, it's like, he grew up well, first off he grew up in Nazi Germany and then it's the aftermath where it's like reconstruction.

Adam:

Yep.

PJ:

so like he's, it's a, it's a very, very like different world than his parents and grandparents grew up in. And so I kind of think he's a bit bitter yeah, he might have still have the title, but they don't have the power anymore.

Adam:

I want to put a pin in the fact that he wants to get revenge for what they did to him. So I want to unpack that with you later on in the episode.

PJ:

Yeah, It is a little bit disturbing to me how the computer is really good at taking a ton of information and producing super accurate results, but who might be involved from seemingly possible circumstantial evidence.

Adam:

Right.

PJ:

this isn't the first time we saw this in Hong Kong with like the billionaire orphan who was destroying buildings. They're like, we think he wants revenge. And it's like, he's a corrupt minister. We think he wants revenge. Like there's a lot of due process, you know, gets thrown out the window. I kind of made it wonder, it's could the computer been used to solve other things like the Iran Contra scandal of the eighties? Unless, of course, Matt programmed it specifically not to look at who might be involved in that.

Adam:

Yeah, I think for sure the computer has a blind spot around anything that Matt is involved in because Matt launders money all over this world.

PJ:

It's called investments, Adam. It's called investments. Creative accounting.

Adam:

Well, we very quickly dive into the agent selection scene here. We don't get any escape scenes, so sorry everyone. But we have three agents who are selected. We get Bruce Sato for his design and engineering specialty. We get Buddy Hawks for his disguise and intelligence skills. And he's a Night Stalker, by the way.

PJ:

Why does he get to drive Hondo's vehicles all the time?

Adam:

built it. I get to drive it.

PJ:

He hotwires the car.

Adam:

And then uh, we have good old Dusty Hayes all terrain specialist. tracking and demolitions,

PJ:

When did Dusty become a demo expert?

Adam:

right?

PJ:

and is the presumption that we're gonna need to blow some shit up this episode?

Adam:

What does the computer think these missions are Bruce is going to have to design and build something, right? Buddy Hawks is going to have to go undercover and Dusty's gonna have to blow stuff up. Like, I don't think the computer. Is operating properly here

PJ:

100%. Yet another instance though. Venom's involvement is not known, so again, For tracking a bit, what instances do we pull mask agents in? Oh and Mat's money is involved.

Adam:

when that's money or investments are at risk. That's when mask is called it. And occasionally the peaceful nation Alliance we have to go back and do a count once we're done with the series on how many missions were actually instigated by Matt's investments and money and not venom. Well, we cut to Boulder Hill and we have Matt briefing them from the Big Brother screen. We learned that every Deutschmark in Geneva has gone blank, but none of the bills in Germany have been affected. And Dusty says to Bruce, you got a yen? To get to the bottom of this? To which Bruce says, I ought to pound you for that one, Dusty. So we get a Buddy Hawks nomination to Dusty, I, I think, for sure. But followed by a really fierce response from Bruce.

PJ:

Yeah.

Adam:

He's gonna fight!

PJ:

he's ready to fight. I mean, they're playing with the, currency bit, which we get a little bit more of

Adam:

We do, because the next line comes from Buddy where he says, We better get going if we're gonna help Matt make sense. Of this case,

PJ:

someone was like, too clever for themselves. Because I'm sure every kid got every one of these jokes because they

Adam:

Oh, totally.

PJ:

you know, international currency of yen and pound.

Adam:

Yeah,

PJ:

as the alias of sense and sense.

Adam:

the kids were laughing out loud during this one.

PJ:

they weren't

Adam:

Ah,

PJ:

at all.

Adam:

Well, it's into the radiation chamber of death, and then away we go from Denver to Geneva. We see Rhino, Hurricane and Gator. And what I do find funny, we've seen this before, is that they're equipped with snow chains. And I just thought with these very advanced vehicles, they might've been able to come up with something better than just snow chains, especially Hurricane transforms into a tank. You'd think they would have developed some better technology at this point. and I also want to point out that the open air Gator might not be the best choice for the snowy Alps.

PJ:

Yeah, I felt really sad for Dusty, because like everyone else is in these heated closed vehicles and he's like freezing his ass off. Like, why the fuck am I in this Jeep? Especially since I am used to hot, humid weather.

Adam:

Well, Matt tells Scott to stay behind in town while they go off on a mission. So Scott once again stranded alone with only T Bob as supervision. Father of the year,

PJ:

Is anyone surprised?

Adam:

no. But in this case, which what's interesting is once Matt and the crew leaves, Scott says, we did it T Bob, we got rid of dad. Now we can have all the chocolate we want. It's rare that Scott is actually excited that dad is leaving.

PJ:

is true. I kind of thought this was a sad note. Because Scott's even leaning into it now.

Adam:

finding the silver lining, right? He's like, well, if dad's gone, at least I can stuff myself with chocolate.

PJ:

It's a bad pattern, Scott. You should deal with your feelings. As opposed to trying to eat them away.

Adam:

how did he buy the chocolate? If all the money has been turned into worthless paper.

PJ:

I mean, I think we're gonna get into this. But I mean later on. thing that this virus is going to affect is mainly people who are cash only.

Adam:

Mm hmm.

PJ:

And I imagine Matt just handed him his credit card.

Adam:

Exactly. Well, meanwhile, we catch up with the Venom and they are actually shacked up in a pretty nice Alpine Lodge. uh, apparently owned by Baron Fritz Hauser. And it turns out the Baron wants revenge on Germany for quote, what they did to him. So what do you think they did to him?

PJ:

Well, I have a theory, but we have to go to history corner to figure this one out.

Adam:

Looking forward to it.

PJ:

I looked this up. The history, I kind of like history of Germany is pretty interesting because starting from like the post or the, like the Weimar Republic

Adam:

Mm

PJ:

post partition West German uh, West Germany

Adam:

Mm

PJ:

this kind of concept of what they called the social market economy.

Adam:

hmm.

PJ:

the state was trying to balance between free market dynamics as well as not having like over monopolistic or oligarchic interest from taking over to try to weave this like thread between pure free market capitalism and socialism. Okay. But in the eighties, like West Germany was struggling with like slow economic growth, high unemployment and high wages, it was still recovering from like the oil shocks of the seventies. And the state originally played a big role in the economy, including sheltering certain industries and sectors. But I think there was going through a bunch of deregulation because in the 80s, like many countries, Chancellor Helmut Kohl was trying to reduce the state's role. Okay. All right. That's our backdrop.

Adam:

right? Okay. Yep.

PJ:

if you take that as like forgiven, you can imagine a finance minister that had been around from the 70s until like the early 80s when I got booted, probably would have a tremendous amount of power in deciding who lives and dies economically speaking. Which probably meant he got a lot of kickbacks from the industries he was helping out. And so like, if you sort of think of it that way, then, you know, whatever graft or corruption he was involved with. He probably, booting him is probably the right thing to do, especially as you're like trying to clean up like this, involvement at the state. So I think basically like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Adam:

Okay. So what they did to him was boot him from power because he had been accepting bribes. Okay. I can see why you would be upset if you're, if you're used to living off graft. But now he also says you know, this plot that he's hatching with miles that once they're done with it, quote, there will be no money left in my homeland.

PJ:

Yeah, I, so I understand we're at a kid's show and we got to dub it down a bit, but like it's convenient, but that's also not how money works. I mean, so in particular, the rich keep their money in banks or investments, so largely they will not be affected. Okay, so this plan seems to hinge on punishing people that largely operate on cash, which should probably be like. lower to middle income folks. Okay. So he's like targeting these folks to just basically evaporate their cash value. and so then it was like, okay, are you trying to push people more into like credit cards and debit cards? And then later on into crypto. Cause maybe the Barron's got a lot of large investment in those and it's trying to like. get it on both ends.

Adam:

I will tell you who probably has large investments in that Mr. Matt Tracker.

PJ:

Look, Tracker Finance is a great supporter of this show and has always provided, you know, wonderful opportunities and uh, financial instruments for whatever your needs are

Adam:

Yeah, exactly. I did not want to at all make it seem as though Tracker finance is not on the up and up because they are, and they have been for over 40 years. Are you looking for a second opinion? On your financial holdings, we highly recommend you reach out to Tracker Finance. They make money the old fashioned way.

PJ:

Last thing on this note, do you think Sly complained that the Alpine Nice Lodge was actually too nice?

Adam:

Totally.

PJ:

It's like, it's not leaking. I don't know if I can sleep here.

Adam:

yeah, cause usually Sly picks out The most dilapidated huts and shanties in the jungle. I guess this is actually a way better hideout for Venom only because Mask wouldn't be looking at a nice place. speaking of Sly, by the way, he spots the mask team rolling into the mountains, and he decides to take them all on by himself in Piranha, which also, by the way, is not the best vehicle for the Alps.

PJ:

If there's any vehicle less suited for the Alps than Gator, it's Piranha. He has zero protection from the snow. Here's my question. Is he insane? Is he brave? Or Adam, is he high

Adam:

Yeah,

PJ:

to do this?

Adam:

I don't think they're mutually exclusive. I think one informs the other.

PJ:

There goes his New Year's resolution.

Adam:

Unsurprisingly, Sly, back at it. Mask transforms into defense mode and the battle begins. Rhino runs Jackhammer off the road. But then we cut back to Scott at the hotel and he's repairing T Bob's knee. With, I don't know what he's repairing it with, doesn't seem to work. Surprise, surprise.

PJ:

like, Scott, when will you learn? Although he did make T Bob, apparently.

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

Adam, I had a question, what is the point of this cut? Cause

Adam:

Yeah,

PJ:

we're, we're getting into a great battle.

Adam:

it's about to become a really good battle, and then just for no reason they cut to Scott and T Bob. And the knee thing doesn't even really pay off at all, anywhere, so it's not that important in the episode. So yeah, I'm frustrated by this cut, for sure.

PJ:

he makes a joke. It's like, dad's probably just having a quiet chat with that Baron and then eat some chocolate. was it supposed to be like kind of this contrast between Scott's expectations and

Adam:

I mean, I'm sure that's what they were trying to do, but it doesn't work at all, on any level. Well then, we do cut back to the battle. Miles sees Mask coming, and he tells the Baron to get away. Miles takes off in Switchblade, and then, what's, here's something that's nuts here. Bruce climbs on top of Rhino, which is moving. He takes a rope, lasso, and tosses it at Switchblade. Catches like one of the, one of the runner bars there and then he starts climbing up the rope first of all, Bruce is a total badass here, but also don't they have masks with powers that could come in handy here?

PJ:

I mean, this would be a great choice for Jack rabbit or have Bruce, you know, lifter Matt up or somebody else up. But yeah, this is like, sort of leans into this like thing we've seen from Bruce a few times before. He loves to flex.

Adam:

Oh yeah, you remember that episode where he went like jumping down like a cliff?

PJ:

yeah. And then he scaled the side of the Statue of Liberty.

Adam:

That's right, he did.

PJ:

you think he's trying to impress Vanessa?

Adam:

That's right, because Vanessa is there. So she, she sees what's happening.

PJ:

And she's not involved in this. Like, she's like, she's looking, but like, she's not actually attacking.

Adam:

No, she, in fact, yeah, it's actually Cliff who fires on Switchblade to

PJ:

it

Adam:

try to get Bruce off. Idiotic move, of course, because he's firing at his boss's vehicle. But rather than getting Bruce off, he succeeds in dislodging, like, this container that's been installed on, on Switchblade. So both the container And Bruce fall off Switchblade and land in the snow. Now, this is a ragdoll nomination for Bruce. I mean, I don't care how deep or soft the snow is, he fell from a helicopter, like, onto the ground. If not dead, he's badly injured.

PJ:

should be. I did find that Jackhammer firing on Switchblade fell into the same category as Matt randomly firing on the cable car, to melt the cable, a couple episodes ago. It's very dangerous and makes no sense at the same time.

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

Two other things, one, Cliff's not wearing a coat, so it's gotta be affecting his aim. He also only has one eye, and that is a depth, that is a depth problem. in many ways, it's amazing Cliff didn't kill Miles,

Adam:

Right. So when Bruce falls, though, he gets up with sort of like a thumbs up and he's like, long falls and close calls make for nervous bedfellows. And no one responds to this. And I think they're. It's just stunned he's alive.

PJ:

I was like, Bruce, are you a robot? How are you not dead?

Adam:

Also, I feel like the, the sadoisms that we get, we get a, we get a bunch of them at the very end of the episode. None of them quite make sense. This one, Long falls and close calls make for nervous bedfellows. And you're saying that in response to, what, that everyone else was nervous you were going to die? That you were nervous you were going to die? I'm not quite sure what you're getting at.

PJ:

There is something about the Sado isms this episode which aren't quite clicking, and I think you're right, there's some other writer that they pulled in for this, because, know, the person gets a lot right, there's some stuff that goes over the head. are like a lot of near misses though, that

Adam:

Mm hmm.

PJ:

quite track what we've seen before.

Adam:

Yeah, well, they get the action right. That's for sure, because in the next beat, Piranha knocks Gator into this kind of like bobsled track esque tunnel, and Dusty can't control Gator. And he's on a collision course with this huge ice wall. That's at the end of it, and if he hits it, he will surely die.

PJ:

Yeah, so what's gonna follow, I mean, is awesome. There's a lot about, that I had questions about, like how'd that ice wall get there in the first place?

Adam:

Yeah, and folks, it's like a, monolith from 2001, a space odyssey type of ice wall. It's like smooth, perfect, like, rectangle.

PJ:

And Sly's standing right next to it, waiting, like he can't wait to see this, despite the fact he could get very injured in this crash. other note I feel like is important, and maybe Dusty's not used to driving in snow, you don't use your brakes. Like, you gotta downshift, that sucker.

Adam:

no, I agree with you, but one of the reasons he was chosen was because all terrain. he should know this.

PJ:

you should know

Adam:

But no, he is skidding to his doom, leads me to ask you PJ, what's going to happen?

PJ:

I don't know, I don't know!

Adam:

Well, we will find out after these messages.

Mask will be right back, and so will Venom. Now back to math.

Adam:

Well, we are back when we left you. Dusty was sliding out of control towards an ice monolith that was going to kill him. But don't worry friends, He's going to be okay because buddy jumps on the hood of Gator and uses penetrator to allow them to safely pass through the ice wall. So one very bad ass for buddy one upping Bruce in this moment to a really good use of a mask power in this episode. penetrator actually. Ever so far in the series, a power that doesn't get used all that much.

PJ:

It doesn't, I mean, you could put this up there at the same place where buddy use penetrator, hooked it up to firecracker and then drove it into the volcano to get Matt.

Adam:

Yeah, no, that's, that was another good use of it too. Yeah.

PJ:

so, but you're right, but I mean, this whole sequence is awesome because like, Buddy does this, James Bond slash MCU jump that's so well timed to get onto Gator, you know, crouches down, like, ready to go, and then, like, times it to, like, get through the ice wall. It's a great scene.

Adam:

It's great. And also this whole action sequence, I mean, it's a long action sequence. It's maybe eight minutes long and, you know, including the quick cut to Scott and T Bob and like, really that's what mask episode should be, right? I mean, these are action toys with. Action figures. It should just be a lot of action and much less talking. like, this is something fun that we could play with in the winter in the snow if we bring our toys outside.

PJ:

this is like me playing with my toys. again, lots of stuff you can kind of pick apart where, where the ice wall come from all that jazz in some sense, maybe I don't care. Like, this is like a great, here's how you play with these toys. And it's fun.

Adam:

Totally. Well, so they get through the ice wall and Dusty uses backlash to slow Gator in the snow. I don't know if that was necessary, but okay. Fun to see backlash being used. Venom gets away and then Mask gathers to examine this canister that fell from Switchblade. They use the computer in Rhino to check it out. Turns out there's a virus in it, which makes Currency Inc disappear. Uh, And to prove it, Matt asks Bruce to give him a Deutschmark and Bruce says, a toy maker and his money are soon parted, and I love how Matt won't risk his own money.

PJ:

I, I noticed that as well. actually occurred to me. There's one of two possibilities. One is that Matt's cash has all been erased. And so he needs to, or Matt is pretending that all of his cash has been erased.

Adam:

Yeah, well, I, I think we all know it's, it's the, the former, And then Bruce, the follow up though, he says, what about my money? I just lost 20 and Matt. Doesn't even address it.

PJ:

heh heh heh heh. I really wanted to turn around and be like, Who do you think owns the fucking toy factory you work for, asshole? Where do you think that 20 came from?

Adam:

Meanwhile, Scott and T Bob are doing what any wealthy kid would be doing skiing on untouched virgin snow in the Swiss Alps. they crashed into a couple of snowmen. Fall off a cliff and into a trailer being pulled by jackhammer. And that trailer isn't filled with like snow or mattresses, it's filled with equipment to be used in this big device they're building. So Scott is dead.

PJ:

R. I. P. Scott. this is very important to lay his groundwork for the rest of the episode, especially the end. I want to just keep pointing out Scott did not ask to be put into this position.

Adam:

Yeah,

PJ:

still in town skiing nearby, he's only here in this position. of Matt's negligence.

Adam:

exactly.

PJ:

supervising Scott. this is a very terrible coincidence. and I think we need to hold that in mind for later on.

Adam:

Agreed. I also wonder, how did he get to the top of this mountain that he's skiing down? I mean, did he then use a credit card to pay someone to helicopter him up to the top of it? Because there's no ski lifts here. This is not a ski resort.

PJ:

Maybe he has chains on T Bob.

Adam:

And forces T Bob to drive him to the top of a mountain,

PJ:

And they

Adam:

carrying both of their skis and their poles.

PJ:

Yes.

Adam:

Matt and the gang are back at the Baron's Alpine lodge. And Matt surmises that the Baron hired Venom to help him launder money as a way of getting revenge. And Matt says a former finance minister who was caught. Embezzling money.

PJ:

few things here, and then there's one thing that occurred to me. There's a real

Adam:

Yeah,

PJ:

money here. Like, it's not to clean it and make it blank. It's make it untraceable. I have a question for you, Adam. So they're in the. Lodge. Do you think they end up sampling any of his fine, fine liquors?

Adam:

I'm sure they do. I think Matt buys it.

PJ:

He buys it?

Adam:

Oh, just steals the lodge.

PJ:

I have a feeling it's going to go into receivership soon.

Adam:

well, Bruce. Starts a sadism by saying you can lead a horse to water and then Matt finishes it for him by saying, but a virus must be spread. So It's interesting that it's a sadism that Matt finishes, Second, though. It makes no sense. You can lead a horse to water, but a virus must be spread. What?

PJ:

I kind of thought, like, Bruce was actually going to say something else. And Matt just interjected, it's like, either like, Bruce was so pissed off, he was like, I'm not even going to finish it. Matt just didn't feel like dealing with retranslating it for Dusty and Buddy. look, it's gonna be about spreading the virus. Let's just cut to the chase, Bruce.

Adam:

I

PJ:

will not get it, and in all likelihood, will insult you.

Adam:

agree with you a hundred percent. Through this though, Matt figures out that Venom is going to blow the de inking virus. Into Germany through one of the mountain passes in the Alps. seems a bit overcomplicated. Isn't there some other way the Baron could get revenge against West Germany?

PJ:

Yeah, I agree. There's many easier ways to get revenge against West Germany, leaking state secrets to East Germany. I had this sense, man, that Venom did not, I mean, and I think this is just true from what we learned later on, Venom didn't come up with this plan. I think the Baron did, Venom's like, okay, fuck it. If you're paying us, we'll do it. Like, we're hired guns, because I don't think that, I don't really feel like Miles is really invested in this, like, he's to do the work, but all he wants is the money.

Adam:

they're hired guns for sure. Right. I think what miles is attracted to in this plan is just a theatricality of it.

PJ:

Oh yeah,

Adam:

Is that, and then what we're going to do miles is we're going to blow the virus. Through a pass in the Alps into West Germany to de ink all the currency. And he's like, sounds crazy, way over the top, I'm into it.

PJ:

I would love if the Baron is like, and we'll make the money disappear.

Adam:

And Miles says, I'm a bit of a magician you know as well. Miles likes the cut of this guy's jib. Thinks he's crazy, but definitely, he likes this guy.

PJ:

Mm hmm.

Adam:

Well, we find Venom inside a cave, where they are working on a, typical Venom big contraption machine. And, the Baron says, All I need to do is turn this valve, and the destruction of Germany will be complete. Okay.

PJ:

really gonna be destroyed? Or are we like, unfairly harming the poor? helping to usher in a cashless economy.

Adam:

Well, yeah, but also, I mean, West Germany can just print more money. now if it was a virus that infected humans,

PJ:

well, but here's the thing, Adam, if you're going to hire someone to come up with a biological weapon, you don't use miles, you have to get Matt. Cause he's the only one. As evidenced from the blue slide, he's the only one with the research facilities capable of designing these kind of data function research

Adam:

Sure. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure he reached out to Tracker Industries on this one, but uh, they were unavailable they were doing cleanup in Africa. Well, now we're outside the cave, you know, Scott and Teavap had been hauled behind that trailer. that was being pulled by Jackhammer and Scott realizes what's going on here and he radios Matt.

PJ:

Okay. Stop on this one for a second. So Matt and company have got their thumb up their asses trying to figure out which mountain pass basically is going to be used for this. the only reason why Matt knows where the base is, is due to Scott. I want to keep that one in mind again.

Adam:

uh, We also have some more complaining between Sly and Vanessa, right?

PJ:

Yeah, do they have a thing still going on? Because, like, you know, we noted that.

Adam:

They do, but now it's complicated by also Bruce being there. In the picture,

PJ:

That's true. Vanessa's got her eyes elsewhere now.

Adam:

Well, Venom spots Mask coming and the final end of episode big battle begins. The Baron goes to escape, but Miles just sticks out his leg and trips him, and then steals the the briefcase full of gold.

PJ:

That's all he wants. He just wants the money, man. He doesn't care about this plan.

Adam:

Exactly. Gator uses some heretofore unknown lifter esque laser to incapacitate Jackhammer and lift Vanessa and Cliff out of the vehicle.

PJ:

This was weird. And it was definitely a WTF for me because it felt like An unnecessary new power with a lot more animation than necessary. Like it could have just used the electric. Ouch. And I kind of was curious if they had plotted out a different sequence where actually Bruce was gonna use lifter and then they, decided to pivot like, it's almost like a mismatch animation

Adam:

maybe they never animated that shot of Bruce using Lifter, or the episode was running long, but I think you're exactly right, and I'm gonna back it up because it's definitely the Lifter power, the way it's animated, and we would have seen, Backlash Penetrator, I don't know either. Ultra flash and lifter used in the episode. So the writer doing the correct thing, which is using all four mask powers in the episode. So that's what I'm going to use as, proof that it was supposed to be lifter, but wasn't.

PJ:

Yeah.

Adam:

Well, meanwhile in the most overmatched battle in the episode Piranha decides to take on Hurricane, but uh, Hurricane fires on Piranha and takes it out easily.

PJ:

Yeah. Hurricane's the most badass vehicle. And once again, Piranha is like what are you doing here? Go try and fight Brad if you want to be on equal footing. Hurricane will roll you over.

Adam:

Totally. Well, the Baron releases the virus, but Rhino fires a rocket into the sky that causes a thunderstorm. So I guess they have cloud seeding capabilities?

PJ:

Look, Adam, listen, all your talk about cloud seeding, chemtrails is just a bunch of conspiracy. Now as a side note, we do want to thank our sponsors at Tracker Agricultural for their support of this show. Tracker Agricultural, when you need us to make it rain, we're there for you.

Adam:

that's good to know. That's good to know. I'm going to take out all the mention of bioengineering from future episodes. Sly actually flips over in Piranha. And we have another Ragdoll nomination here.

PJ:

Sly uh, gets nominated for his own award again.

Adam:

Congratulations, Sly. Matt fires Ultra Flash at Miles, and Switchblade crashes into the snow, like, right next to Mask.

PJ:

Yes.

Adam:

So, I wanna put a pin in the fact that they have no excuse to not catch Venom here.

PJ:

Yes.

Adam:

It's Scott that finds the briefcase full of gold, though.

PJ:

What he says is all he wants is chocolate and he opens up this briefcase and he sees all of these bars of gold

Adam:

Right.

PJ:

he wants is chocolate. Now I wanted to look this up a bit. So a standard bar of gold, like you see in the movies. Weighs 27 and a half pounds. Okay. And if you look on the image, there's only one layer of gold and not like two, there are at least 12 bars of gold in that suitcase. That comes out to 330 pounds that Scott is holding. So, we've theorized this before. Scott is juicing, man.

Adam:

Oh, for sure.

PJ:

I guess so is Miles at that point in time, too.

Adam:

And the Baron, who'd been carrying it around.

PJ:

the Baron. Anabolic steroids. Darbon all around.

Adam:

Well, Miles and Venom escape. Mask was right there. How in the world did they not They were right there! Well, the cloud seating rocket worked. The snow that's now falling is preventing the virus from spreading into Germany.

PJ:

It's true. It's now going to work its way into the water supply.

Adam:

Good.

PJ:

the snow eventually melts.

Adam:

Of the pristine Swiss Alps. Mind you. Now contaminated. Thanks, Mask. Don't worry, Tracker Agricultural is here to help you with chemical resistant crops. Dusty captures the Baron but in fact they ask, Matt, should we go after Venom? And Matt says, no, we've got the mastermind behind this operation. What about all the other times that Venom was the mastermind Matt's like, nope, the rule is whatever the case of the week is. And unfortunately, Venom was not the mastermind this time, so we cannot legally go after them.

PJ:

Pretty arbitrary rules there, Matt. Adam, I have a question. this is gold that came from the Baron that was given to miles that was then taken for miles. What happens to it now?

Adam:

Matt will take good care of it. Don't you worry. Well, we're back at the lodge and Scott complains that he wants to stay in Switzerland longer. And Bruce says, young man in hot water longs for the snow.

PJ:

Yeah, that says this asshole thing to him. It's like, Oh, you forgot one tiny little detail, like leaving the town without permission and. My response would have been like, Dad, I was skiing in town. I didn't ask to fall into that truck. But you weren't around to supervise me.

Adam:

just father of the year repercussions all over the place here.

PJ:

100%. And

Adam:

And then, Yeah, Bruce has got another one. He says a city boy in the mountains is in for a cold reception. He's just dropping like zingers left and right here at the end of the episode.

PJ:

I'm still like, why is Scott in trouble? Like, he didn't intentionally try to find Venom this time. And honestly, it was Scott's radioing of Matt that alerted them to Venom's location.

Adam:

Scott has been praised for less in the past, so I don't know why it's getting punished on this one. Well, we end this episode with a shot of Scott and T Bob unconscious in the snow. Like, I'm not even joking. Like, what is up with this? They're, like, their skis are all splayed, their eyes are closed, they're half buried in the snow. What happened?

PJ:

Scott and T Bob are once again skiing unsupervised. Do we not have enough evidence is this they get hurt when this happens?

Adam:

It's just like, to my child brain, I'm like, Is Scott dead? Did Matt punish him? Like, is that what happened? Did Matt punish him? Like, and toss him out a window into the snow?

PJ:

I mean, he might as well have given, you know, the degree of neglect that's there.

Adam:

You want to go skiing without my permission, huh? Well, we cut to the more you know. T Bob is ice skating, and then he falls through the ice and Scott saves him. The lesson being, make sure you check the ice first before you go ice skating. So, not a bad lesson, I guess.

PJ:

It's not bad. I, I didn't think the ice ratings were meant for 750 pound robots. But then again, I looked up and four inches of ice can hold about 800 pounds. that means that whatever pond they're on less than four inches of ice on it, and they just didn't bother to test.

Adam:

So, okay. So it is a good lesson then. Check the ice first kids. So good job. Let's grade the team the computer has put together, right? So Bruce Sato, he was brought on the, the mission for his design and engineering skills.

PJ:

Yeah, I mean, he determined how to put the machine together for how the virus spread, so, I mean, fine. B minus.

Adam:

Buddy Hawks was brought on for his disguise and intelligence skills.

PJ:

Okay, no disguises. A very, a very, very badass jump. that is questionable in terms of intelligence. So, big F for the computer this time.

Adam:

agreed. And then Dusty Hayes, all terrain specialist tracking and demolitions.

PJ:

I mean, he drove on snow.

Adam:

Yes?

PJ:

his tracking skills really didn't come into play. But nothing got blown up.

Adam:

No.

PJ:

C Best case scenario.

Adam:

Yeah, slightly above average.

PJ:

Yeah,

Adam:

All right, well, was this episode Pandapoo?

PJ:

I mean, Venom didn't deface any statues,

Adam:

So that is our bar, right? That's the bar is set there

PJ:

if you kind of take all the craziness and put it on the Baron and just make Venom the hired guns, it works. Like, Venom's in it for the money. And, again, it's kind of very strikingly similar to the Hong Kong orphan billionaire episode there's no overt sexism or racism. So I'm good with it. It's not Pandapoo.

Adam:

Okay, we move on down the list here. Our Sly Rax Ragdoll Award. We have a bunch of nominations.

PJ:

We do. So we've got you know, the last one we just saw was Slyrax. Earning a nom, there's Scott, falling into the back of Jack Hammer's trailer. But for me, the one that wins it is Bruce falling from a helicopter into snow

Adam:

hmm.

PJ:

away without a scratch.

Adam:

Following up with a sadoism. Yeah, I hear that one. I'm gonna go with Scott and T Bob skiing at a high speed off a cliff.

PJ:

There

Adam:

into the trailer behind Jack, Jack Hammer. I just think, there's no way that kid survives. I'm sorry, so.

PJ:

Good

Adam:

anyways, R. I. P. Bruce and Scott. We will we'll see you next time. The Roy Batty moment for T Bob?

PJ:

Getting chased by that goat. Really? I mean, I'm surprised we never see that goat again, so I don't know exactly what happened to it.

Adam:

Father of the Year moment.

PJ:

I mean, just again, it's, it's somewhat rote. It is almost like you can't award it anymore, but like just

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

in town, actually it's, it's, it's actually a bookend leaving him in town and then blaming him for leaving town because of a preventable accident. If, if Matt had been there, so it's really like. What is the message that Scott's supposed to get from this?

Adam:

Scott's gonna have to work this out with his therapist. Once again. Dad asked me to stay in town, but then because of something that happened in town, he got mad at me.

PJ:

What happened? I fell off a cliff.

Adam:

Into a trailer!

PJ:

Into a trailer. to be driven by a terrorist.

Adam:

Once again Scott, I'm going to have to, I am a mandated reporter, so I am going to have to alert the authorities about this Finally, our Buddy Hawks award.

PJ:

So I just stated there was no overt racism in this one. And this one's gonna be really out there, okay? But Scott has constantly reduced the Swiss. To a single minded obsession, which is chocolate and

Adam:

hmm.

PJ:

fails to recognize the rich history and culture of the country So I really feel like you know, he gets the buddy Hawks award this time

Adam:

I like that one. I mean, I think Dusty does have a nomination when he says to Bruce, You got a yen to get to the bottom of this? it's not the worst. Buddy Hawks we've ever heard, but I definitely think he deserves an honorable mention.

PJ:

he does deserve an honorable mention on that one and Because clearly like it affected him because like even though he's playing off the currency one You're right Bruce comes back with I'm gonna pound you who?

Adam:

Boy, I bet, I bet Bruce could probably take Dusty. seeing what he did in this episode, I'd put my money on on Bruce there. that is it for episode 32. Episode 33, Caesar's Sword. Venom Agent Sly Rax. poses as the ghost of Julius Caesar to scare off a team of archaeologists who have uncovered Caesar's sword of victory. Well, this is going to be fun. Slyrax in costume is always one to look forward to.

PJ:

So I've watched this one, and I will tell you in the audience right now, I'm already very angry about it. From, like, from a historical perspective, we're going to have a lot to talk about.

Adam:

I'm looking forward to it. But for now, this podcast has to transform and head back to HQ. I am Adam Moore.

PJ:

And I am PJ McNerney.

Adam:

Bye bye.

PJ:

Bye bye.

The mobile armored podcast show is written, produced and edited. Bye Adam Moore. And PJ McNerney.