Mobile Armored Podcast Show

Scott Trakker Defiles Uluru

• Adam Moore and PJ McNerney • Season 1 • Episode 37

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MASK and VENOM are back in the Outback of Australia…but don’t you worry, folks…this is serious this time…there won’t be any co-opting of local customs and spiritual practices like the last time we were here!

Oh wait…

V.E.N.O.M.’s uses a hologram machine to fool local people into thinking that floating rocks are driven by their rock gods, the Mimis, to reveal a treasure hidden within the sacred mountain, Uluru. 

Matt, Bruce, Brad, Scott, and T-Bob stand ready to answer the question: Wait, what are Mimis?

With Matt and Bruce hot on Miles’s scheme and Brad teaching guitar to a family upset about his asking about rock gods, Scott and T-Bob climb Uluru. Only to then tumble down the mountain and have Scott and/or T-Bob be mistaken for the local people’s sky god (it’s a little confusing). 

It all leads up to an exciting ending where Miles attempts to destroy the mountain with Scott and T-Bob trapped inside and Brad uses Hocus Pocus to add a new dimension to the legends of the local people with a giant rock monster!

Join Adam Moore and PJ McNerney for an adventure Down Under, complete with thrills, chills, and some questionable interpretations of local cultures on the Mobile Armored Podcast Show!!!

https://www.instagram.com/m.a.s.k.podcast/

Adam:

Welcome to the Mobile Armored Podcast show. The podcast that transforms into an Angry Rock monster. My name is Adam Moore, alongside my co-host and best friend PJ McNerney. How's it going, pj?

PJ:

I'm good, man. I've been doing a lot of reflection. I think there's probably a, a whole host of people out there that think that we hate. This cartoon show. This is episode 37, not counting some of our special interstitials. So don't do 37 episodes unless one of two things are true, you either are psychotic or you love it.

Adam:

Okay.

PJ:

to our wives, we're a bit of both. but I understand like, you know, we get down on these episodes. and so I do think we could be cognizant of being, kinder, a little, uh, a little more forgiving. won't be this episode. won't be this episode to be sure. So like, If you're hoping for that to start now, I'm sorry,

Adam:

Look. let me remind folks who haven't been along for the whole entire ride, we started this podcast because we loved the toys as kids. We loved the show as kids. And then we took another look at it as adult parents and realized there's a lot to talk about here because there's a lot of stuff that doesn't add up. Will we be kinder and gentler? Maybe you will be, but I still have significant issues with this show. And I think we have to be okay with having problems with the show.

PJ:

Just because you and I have severe father abandonment issues doesn't mean we have to keep projecting them over and over again onto Matt because he abandons his son all the time.

Adam:

I think that is a big part of it. I really do. I definitely think that is a major part of the issues that we have with the show, but I think it's okay

PJ:

Yeah.

Adam:

love something and also to understand that it is flawed deeply so at times, and it's okay to hold those two things in your mind and in your heart.

PJ:

We

Adam:

all right.

PJ:

be mindful about how critical we are about parenting and racism and all the other things that we'd like to touch upon. So what's this episode about, Adam?

Adam:

Well, it's called the Sacred Rock, PJ Venom Frightens, I can't even say it. Having said all that about being kinder and gentler, episode 37, venom frightens a tribe of Australian aborigines who believe their God Mimi is angry with them. When Tbo makes an appearance, the tribe thinks he is their deity. So nothing racist about that at all. We open on Ayers Rock in the Australian Outback. Now we're gonna have to dive into a history corner right off the bat because today we refer to Ayers Rock as Uluru. What I call this a Buddy Hawks nomination. like, from today's viewpoint, I would, but pj you're gonna dive into History Corner and unpack this a little bit.

PJ:

Yeah. And it's, uh, I, it's,

Adam:

I am going to Buddy Hawks you during your history corner,

PJ:

I think that's fair because, uh,

Adam:

so go ahead.

PJ:

I'm effectively, I, I feel like I'm now in the Imperialism Defense Award at this point in time, because I wanna just point out historically, in 1985, the name hadn't been reverted to its native name.

Adam:

that's right. Because in your original notes for this episode, you say it had not yet had its name updated

PJ:

know, I

Adam:

Uluru. It's always been called Uluru.

PJ:

I'll take my buddy Hawks for the episode then. I think it was like 1831 or something like that. It was like a

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

this rock looks awesome. We're gonna name it Ayers Rock. the, dual naming of it, with Ayers Rock and Uluru, came into effect in 1993. So

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

despite the fact it is a reminder of British imperialism, it would've been called Ayers Rock at the time. So, now this is important. The people do not. Climb Uluru due to its cultural and religious significance.

Adam:

Right?

PJ:

the Prime Minister of Australia told them they'd hand back the land title to the local people, and they would prevent people from climbing Uluru

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

pretty quick. Mm-hmm. and it's only as of 2017 that climbing's now forbidden. So any climbing of Uluru isn't affront to the people there. So just thank God no one climbs it. This episode, I hope

Adam:

at any rate, not climbing the rock, fortunately are two rich American tourists who are there, and the wife says it's the biggest rock in the world. And the husband says, Mildred, I thought the biggest rock in the world was on your wedding ring. Americans.

PJ:

It's such a funny, weird exchange and I hope kids loved it. love that they have this shot of framing the tribe and I was reminded of that line from Zoolander, where it's like, don't some aboriginal tribes believe that a photo steals part of your spirit? I did look this up. And so right now, this American just kind of randomly taking a photo is taking some of their souls.

Adam:

Yeah. Well, I mean, and speaking of them, the tribes people, they're showing, look, nothing like the indigenous Australians. Like I noted in a previous Australian episode. they don't necessarily dress in this cliche native attire. It looks like something out of South America. It looks like very little research went into this at all. skin tone looks off, and again, I mean, the majority of indigenous Australians today live in. Modern places and wear typical modern clothes. maybe in 85 it was different, but I don't think so. So Buddy Hawks all over the place. and maybe for me, and maybe for you as well, PJ, and maybe for this whole episode of the podcast to get itself a Buddy Hawks nomination,

PJ:

I would object. I did a little research and I saw that the writers, extensively watched the movie Crocodile Dundee

Adam:

Uhhuh.

PJ:

as a way to research for

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

of this episode. So.

Adam:

Well, the indigenous Australians say, speak to us spirits of the rock. We have come to hear your wisdom. And the American tries to take a picture of them Then some of the rocks start glowing and start hovering. Mildred asks, did you get the picture? Harry? Harry? And the husband? Seems like he's in a trance.

PJ:

he does

Adam:

Well then we cut to a camera shop We find out it's Alice Springs. Matt Scott and t Bob are in there. Matt's buying some film for his camera, but the American couple that we saw in the beginning are there as well, and they're trying to get their photos developed, they're overexposed. the husband says, now no one will believe. We saw those dancing rocks Matt says, dancing rocks. And suddenly his unusual situations, radar goes off.

PJ:

I had a question for you, Adam. Doesn't Matt ever believe that some people could just be drunk or on drugs? if you listen to any random shit you might hear in the world, are you gonna jump at every opportunity?

Adam:

Well, you never know if Matt is also drunk or on drugs

PJ:

Brad is here this episode, so.

Adam:

Exactly. Well, a very badly accented Australian shopkeeper says, sounds like the legend of the Mimi, the Aborigines believe a magic spirit called the Mimi can move in and out of solid rock. And for kind of no reason whatsoever, because we never see this again. This dreamscape unfolds and we see some kind of a nightmare of a creature. It's like, tiny little bit sailor moon, but wearing pink. Leotards, and pants, and it's got weird flowing hair

PJ:

it really is a Brad Turner drug trip right here.

Adam:

It absolutely is a Brad Turner drug trip

PJ:

got speckled stuff in the background where it's yellow and blue and all these colors mixed together, and these dancing, fairy like creatures. It's almost like a humanoid cat that's jumping

Adam:

that, yeah, but very dead looking eyes, but a smile. so I did some research here, mimis are real well, are they real? Are they not real? We don't know. But the indigenous Australians, uh, comes from their folklore. They're fairy like beings. they're described as having extremely thin and elongated bodies, so thin as to be in danger of breaking in case of high wind. And to avoid this, they usually spend most of their time living in rock crevices. which is nothing like what this image that appears on screen is. This is not a thin, frightening creature. This is, again, some sort of anime thing. some other things you might like to know about the Mimi. Uh, they made the First Rock paintings before the indigenous Australians first came to Northern Australia, and the Mimi taught them how to paint and how to hunt and how to cook kangaroo meat, which is the finest of meat in the Outback. At the end of the day though, to keep in mind the Mimis are considered to be mischievous, but generally harmless.

PJ:

Okay, so Mimis are basically culinary Australian leprechauns without the gold and alcohol

Adam:

Yes, very much so.

PJ:

I can say

Adam:

Yep. Say that

PJ:

Irish.

Adam:

Well, it turns out that this isn't the first time in the past few days that someone has come to this Photoshop and claimed to see the Mimi, and Matt asks the guy if he can take the Americans photos that they left behind.

PJ:

this is like a moment. I was like, wait, so Matt's just gonna take someone else's photos What if there's like adult photo, like this is a married couple, you don't know what's gonna be in there. Matt, like,

Adam:

Did he pay for them? Did anyone pay for these photos?

PJ:

I'm imagining Matt's gonna pay for them or buy the shop, but like, I don't know, if that couple made them develop it and then not pay for it, that's a shitty thing to do. So

Adam:

Typical American tourists. we cut to Thunder, hawk and Condor parked in the middle of a dirt road. Matt, Bruce and Brad are all there and they're listening to the computer, analyze the photos, it turns out during the scene that Matt knows that Mayhem is in Australia for some reason. So once again, Matt bringing his kid on a trip where a terrorist group is known to be operating.

PJ:

I've thought about what the exchange would be like where Matt says to Gloria, Hey, Gloria, can you take Scott? And it's like, what? So you and Bruce and Brad can have a boys trip to Australia? No, thank you. I've got a race in F1.

Adam:

Right.

PJ:

a different note now that we know that Matt is there to kind of snoop out Venom, gives a tiny bit more to that Dancing Rocks thing, like you're kind of on the listen out for anything weird.'cause that's what

Adam:

Right. Well done. Way to defend Matt's decisions here. Matt instructs Brad to stay behind in Alice Springs and find out what he can from the local Aborigines. Meanwhile, he says, Bruce and I are going to the Rock.

PJ:

You're going to see Dwayne Johnson,

Adam:

I thought that every time they mentioned the Rock in this episode, I kept on thinking it's the Rock. What's he doing in Australia?

PJ:

the other thing that came to my mind was like Sean Connery, like the rock

Adam:

You gonna see a movie right now, bro, why can't I come with you?

PJ:

got out of, yeah.

Adam:

Matt invites Scott to come along with him because he'll be safer with him. It's a strange note of concern from Matt regarding his child.

PJ:

I'm glad he's showing concern, like the action he's taking to show concern may not be the best. hey, let me bring you to a site where there may be terrorists, but let's give him credit. also, he knows what happened last time he left Scott with Brad. Brad left him on the side of that mountain during

Adam:

Right,

PJ:

and priest affair Brad might leave him in the middle of the outback. Hey man, can you walk back to Sydney from here?

Adam:

we cut to venom. They're in a tent in the outback Miles is tinkering with a very typical venom machine. Turns out this one creates holograms. he explains, to his team that the natives think the holograms are their quote unquote rock gods. Sly says, give me five minutes with the Aborigines and I'll scare them into telling us everything. And he has a point because the last time we were in Australia, it worked. He dressed up as that native priest and warned them that the wind gods were angry. And that's where the turbine machine came and like kidnapped all the locals, right?

PJ:

I was wondering if this was a subtle callback.'cause if it was it's kind of neat.

Adam:

And then we have this little, interlude where, miles tells Sly that he's as dumb as Cliff, to which Cliff says, yeah, you are as dumb as me,

PJ:

when do we get the group therapy session together? These folks, there's so much like hatred, like this is not a healthy working environment by any stretch.

Adam:

agreed. But then Cliff has a good idea, right? He says, why not use Switchblade and cover it with the hologram Sky Gods are more sacred than Earth Gods

PJ:

I was like, wow, a really good point. That big brain cliff that's a

Adam:

check.

PJ:

idea.

Adam:

Miles's response is, my method has worked so far. I'm not changing anything now.

PJ:

I this Miles can never admit that Cliff is on point about something.

Adam:

No. And also I don't see how it's worked so far, and I'm gonna touch on that when we get to a point a little bit later in the episode. Brad arrives at a local indigenous village and he says, this should be a piece of cake. All I have to do is turn on my ever loving charm. He approaches some villagers sitting in a circle and he says, hi there. How's it going? My name is Brad. Do you know anything about the Mimi? It's almost like he doesn't speak English and is reading out of a guidebook. How is it going? My name is Brad. Do you know anything about the Mimi? Well, all the women and children, they freak out and start crying and then he says maybe a song will calm them. And doesn't he pull a guitar outta nowhere in that moment?

PJ:

hammer space man, all the way. He like pulls a

Adam:

Yeah. Outta nowhere. Yep.

PJ:

and he is ready to like, just jam with these guys.

Adam:

Yeah. and then this big guy comes out and confronts Brad and says, in broken English, why you talk about Mimi? And Brad's response is, I don't think I know that song.

PJ:

couple questions, man. the dude who comes out, why is he shirtless?

Adam:

Yeah, because he is wearing dress pants. Like he's wearing a normal pair of slacks but just not wearing a shirt.

PJ:

Yeah. Um, also, is it forbidden to talk about maybe like that They didn't really establish that very well. finally, I thought a better thing for the guy to say because this random white dude is upsetting his family is to be like, who the fuck are you? Why are you approaching my wife and kids randomly and bothering them? I was just like, ah, maybe like Brad reminds him of that sort of cool youth pastor that's doing a missionary trip.

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

And I'm not saying Adam, that Brad looks Mormon here, but

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

in shirt do.

Adam:

Which could open up a whole new dimension on who Brad Turner is. He is a Mormon rock star who goes from town to town on missionary trips. Now that's a cartoon show right there.

PJ:

we go.

Adam:

So Thunder, Hawk and Rhino, they arrive at Uluru to find the indigenous Australians worshiping the Rock. And all of this that happens here is worthy of Buddy Hawk's nominations.

PJ:

What are you saying? don't natives worship rocks in the outback.

Adam:

I just don't know, like if on their hands and knees like bowing to it, spouting what is clearly gibberish, I'll play it right now so you can hear what it is they're worshiping. that is gibberish. That's not actually

PJ:

Adam.

Adam:

any words.

PJ:

That's because before Brad and the Mormon missionaries came out, there was Catholic missionaries that came out.

Adam:

So it's Latin.

PJ:

It's Latin.

Adam:

Understood.

PJ:

And I can

Adam:

Got it.

PJ:

'cause I was raised Catholic. So,

Adam:

You're getting away with a lot McNerney. This episode,

PJ:

uh, I'm driving a bus through kindness.

Adam:

uh, T VB throws a boomerang. He runs away from it and then hits a tree causing Matt, Bruce and Scott to all burst out laughing. So we have a great Roy Batty nomination for making fun of Tvo when he is in pain.

PJ:

It really is. It's like, Hey man, I was just trying to have some fun here. I had two questions though about this, Adam. So a boomerang is a weapon, like it's a,

Adam:

Yep.

PJ:

we play with it as a toy here in the us but it's a weapon used to hunt, right?

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

why would TBO think it's a good idea to use a weapon, with these natives here? Like what if he accidentally hits one of them?

Adam:

What if he's trying to get more lethal?

PJ:

yeah, this maybe you're right. This is the Roy Batty he's practicing.

Adam:

exactly. what?

PJ:

though for you is

Adam:

Yeah,

PJ:

aren't they trying to stay hidden at the same time?

Adam:

I know, right? At least they have to be heckling quietly

PJ:

Yeah.

Adam:

themselves. well, Matt and Bruce go off to investigate and, Matt, tells Scott to stay here. So what does Scott do? He decides to climb Uluru.

PJ:

No, Scott, that's sacrilege.

Adam:

He is just climbing up, no ropes, no nothing, just doing his thing. Well, back to Bruce and Matt. they are, poking out from behind a corner there, and Bruce says, sounds like the Mimi Show is about to begin. And Matt says, then let's grab ourselves some front row seats.

PJ:

It's like Bruce the Mimi show. Really?

Adam:

I'm Bruce got some buddy Hawks for me right there. Like

PJ:

That is a

Adam:

that's, you know, a minor one for Matt for playing along with it.

PJ:

Yeah.

Adam:

well, Matt and Bruce witnessed the glowing rocks and Bruce says, fish can swim, flowers can bloom. However, a dancing rock has no leg to stand on. it's a sadism indeed. it makes no sense whatsoever

PJ:

what information did we learn from Bruce at this point in time? did that actually advance or add anything? I was at least glad Matt didn't explain that back to Bruce. normally you'd need Scott or Brad or Dusty or pick a name to be like, I don't know what you're talking about. And then Matt would have to like explain it. I mean, I have expected to be like, Matt, Bruce, you're right. Rocks can't dance without legs that's fundamentally all you get out of that.

Adam:

Yep. But from this, Matt makes a stunning leap of logic. He says, only one person could be behind this Miles mayhem.

PJ:

Or aliens or other mystical shit. You've seen both of those things in the past, man.

Adam:

meanwhile, well, on their way to the top of the 1100 foot Uluru t Bobb, stumbles and falls down dragging Scott with him.

PJ:

The shot is awesome. Like how frightened they are.

Adam:

Yeah. Uh, petrified. And he should be because Scott is on his way to his death. Makes me ask you, pj, what's gonna happen.

PJ:

I don't know. I dunno.

Adam:

We'll find out after these messages

Come on, Jeebop. Mask will be right back. Oh, boy. Back to mask.

Adam:

and we are back When we left you Scott and t Bobb were plummeting to their doom from somewhere on the 1100 foot high Uluru. I don't know really what to say about, this It was a big moment in my childhood watching cartoons. It was up there with Optimus Prime's death to see Scott, this character that I really identified so much with die. Um.

PJ:

his death or was it when he ripped his own heart out and gave it to Bruce and said, the matrix is yours now? Like, which, which part was like the most devastating for you?

Adam:

That'd be so great. Like if Tbo has the optimist prime mo moment and he pulls like some panda poo out of his till all are won. Scott and t Bobb survive. Surprise, surprise. But the indigenous Australians spot, t Bobb and Scott sliding down the rock and they proclaim it to be the sky God.

PJ:

And I was like, wait, what? is this the sign? Like someone dirt sliding down sacred because it's also a bit confusing and it doesn't get any less confusing deeper into the episode.'cause either they think that t bob's a God yet again,

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

or which is what the tagline said. Or they think this sliding white kid is a God. either way, Scott's pants are ripped the shit

Adam:

If ever a shot of a rip in someone's pants with the underwear showing was warranted in the show, this was it. Having said that, I'm very glad they did not do that.

PJ:

I hate to think they talked about it. We're like, no, we probably sh That's, that's too far.

Adam:

Uh, t Bobb and Scott break their fall on top of Venom's tent damaging the hologram machine, and Miles is very upset. He says, just when the Aborigines were ready to tell me what I wanted to know, I'll have to think of another method. And I just thought that torture and or kidnapping probably works just fine.

PJ:

They do, but that wrangles miles' flare for the dramatic man. Like, you know,

Adam:

it's so true. He's a showman at heart. Well, the indigenous Australians. Say at last, the rock has brought us the sky, God, he has come on a shining chariot. We take him to the temple and none of this sounds like the writers have an accurate understanding of the culture and practices of the indigenous Australians.

PJ:

Wait, they don't have temples.

Adam:

I don't believe so. I also have not researched it. Why don't I do that?

PJ:

Okay.

Mask will be right back, and so will Venom. Now back to math.

Adam:

I wanna, get back to you with the results of my in-depth research that I just did. The indigenous Australians do not have temples. They have sacred sites.

PJ:

Thank you. I appreciate that because,'cause they crowd around tbo and they name it in a second, but I feel like it's kind of ambiguous in the moment it gets a little bit weird because for a second there, Adam, it seems that TBO is actually the sky God that they're crowding around.

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

question to you, a common set of aliens that visited the Incans and the indigenous Australians that look like tbo? And if so, did Scott unconsciously create tbo in their likeness? And if so, is it possible that TBO is in the likeness of the aliens from the starch chariot episode, which is why he and Scott were saved? Is such a thing even possible? Yes, it is.

Adam:

Now we go to Venom and man, there's this very confusing exchange between Miles and the indigenous Australians. And I mentioned this a little bit earlier. it's as if there was some setup about Miles's connection with the locals that was cut from the episode. So the exchange is, your weak gods have fled from the sky. God, now you must flee from the village. And mayhem says we will leave peacefully.

PJ:

I think you're right. I think there was some setup that this is trying to pay off, which is unfortunate not to have

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

you know, how is Miles interacting with these guys? what is the deal? They have, like Miles is going to bring them the presence of the Mimi and then they will. Take him to their treasures. It's, it would

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

awesome to have that in there rather than us backfilling it.

Adam:

Yeah. As much as I don't want to encourage him, it actually would've worked a lot better if Sly had dressed up as some sort of a priest or, Aboriginal spirit to speak directly to them or as their sky God, because it doesn't make any sense, like how Miles was interacting with, like, did he show up and say, the Mimi are going to appear on the rock and they're gonna do bad things unless you tell me this information. and then he's been doing it over and over again, so it clearly actually hasn't been working. Well, meanwhile, Matt and Bruce touched base with Brad, who has made inroads in the indigenous village by teaching them how to play guitar. And I will point out again that this is not how indigenous Australians dress or live, You got thatch roof huts. I mean, first of all, there's one kid, can we post this picture on socials as well? It's like one of these things is not like the other, it's like kind of indigenous person and baby kind of indigenous kid and then white girl.

PJ:

Yeah. what do we got going on here? Huh?

Adam:

Which at least she's wearing modern clothing.

PJ:

it's true. We did have that theory last time in Australia that we were not actually visiting indigenous people. We were visiting with white people who were dressing up as what they thought were indigenous people, and acting like they thought were indigenous people in some sort of weird, recreation. So I don't know if they have the equivalent of Refa, for indigenous people in Australia, but maybe that's what this is. He's not actually in a, a native village. It's uh, you know, abig fair or whatever.

Adam:

that's the buddy Hawks right there for you, pal.

PJ:

Thank you. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that's what these people are doing.

Adam:

Right. No, I understand.

PJ:

Uh, and I had a question. Are these the faces of people that are so happy to learn how to play guitar or are they actually stoned? which is the more likely root Brad took here to win these people over? I,

Adam:

Or is all of this a drug-induced hallucination? In Brad's mind, he's actually not in a village with any people. He's wandering around the outback aimlessly playing guitar.

PJ:

No, he's playing air guitar. He didn't even bring it with him. How did he like pull it out from nowhere?

Adam:

So, Brad reveals that he learned about the lost shrine of a bore. It was supposed to be an opal mind. The prehistoric aborigines turned into a temple, but it's just a legend. And guess where you'll find the shrine inside Ayers Rock. AKA Uluru?

PJ:

Okay, so something just occurred to me. We gotta stop right here for a second. I wanna parse this. So there was an opal mine, the prehistoric aborigines dug They formed a mining company and dug up opals. And then the later prehistoric aborigines who were later than the prehistoric prehistoric aborigines turned that mine a temple.

Adam:

Uhhuh.

PJ:

I just wanna make sure I understand the order of operations here, that it was first of mine and then a temple.

Adam:

we don't know if it was the prehistoric aborigines who built the mine. All we know is that they turned a mine into a temple. So is it possible visitors from another planet mined Uluru?

PJ:

And if so, did they look like tbo?

Adam:

Well, that's the setup folks. There's a shrine inside Uluru

PJ:

Which is

Adam:

to the sky. God, a former mine according to the mask computer. Over the years, the locals, meaning the, indigenous Australians have stored treasures in the temple as offerings to the sky God, and they believe that his return will bring them eternal prosperity. Matt instructs Brad to meet up with them fast. He's concerned that Scott is mixed up in this somehow, and Matt says we've got to find them before mayhem does.

PJ:

Uh, slight

Adam:

So,

PJ:

corner here. this is all bullshit. there is no a bore, as far as I can tell, there's no mine or temple or sacred site

Adam:

No.

PJ:

Uluru. Uluru is the sacred site.

Adam:

Meanwhile, Scott and t Bobb are being carried on a pagoda type thing by the locals and brought inside Uluru, the indigenous leader blows a horn. That sounds like an elephant. What the heck? Like not even trying it is an elephant sound effect that they just threw in there'cause they didn't have anything else better to do. And then after blowing the horn, a statue moves aside, revealing. The entrance to the temple. Now inside this temple, it's filled with all kinds of treasure. And the indigenous leader says, we give you all these priceless treasures. And Scott's about to tell them like, no, it's okay. I don't need it. But then Tbo cuts him off and says, priceless treasures might come in handy sometime. And I love how TBOs become like a true tracker.

PJ:

he is embraced it, man. He's like, oh,

Adam:

Yeah,

PJ:

money

Adam:

I know. so the leader says, this temple shall be the sky, God's home forever. And Tbo is just like throwing in the gems and treasures. And he says, I'm rich. Look again. This has happened before. Does he not know that Matt's a billionaire?

PJ:

is it because like this could be TBOs. Matt doesn't actually share his money. This is actually, oh, this can be mine

Adam:

Is t bobb like an indentured servant? And this would buy him out of his robotic servitude from the tracker family? Well, the, uh, the indigenous Australians closed the temple door trapping Scott and t bobb inside.

PJ:

I was like, whoa, what is going on here? realistically, the next time they reopen that door, Scott will be dead. Dead. Like either he will have run out of oxygen or starved,

Adam:

sky gods don't starve. they don't require sustenance or air.

PJ:

So what are they gonna think? when they reopen the door, it's like, oh man, I guess he was just a white kid. it's not a sky god after all.

Adam:

Quick. Hide them. You know, what happens when white kids die out here,

PJ:

let's feed him to the hogs like Dusty did last episode.

Adam:

but also where'd they get all these treasures from? Like, where did all the pearls and the diamonds and the emeralds, where did it all come from? Have they been stealing from tourists or like, mean,

PJ:

possible that ancient aliens came and visited and gave them these trinkets as a way to signify they were coming back?

Adam:

Yeah, man. I think it's a great question. Where did all this stuff come from? Matt and Bruce are now looking for Scott and t Bob, and Matt is super concerned that they tried to climb, he's rock. This by the way, is based on where he found the boomerang. So we found the boomerang on the ground and said, Hmm, based on this, they must have tried to climb ays rock. what a Leap in logic.

PJ:

Do you think the reason he knew it was the same boomerang is'cause the price tag was still on the back, wherever he got it from, because otherwise there's a lot of boomerangs, presumably that would be hanging around here,

Adam:

Pj, do you think Uluru is just strewn with abandoned boomerangs?

PJ:

thrown by white people after climbing it. Yes.

Adam:

Just littered. Littered with boomerangs. That's why they had to ban people from climbing Uluru.'cause they would climb up and toss boomerangs off. Uh, well, Matt says I shouldn't have left them alone. You think?

PJ:

I think we should back up to your earlier point about bringing a kid into a country with a known and active terrorist threat.

Adam:

Yeah. Should have left him at home with a nanny. But anyways, Bruce says, Hey, hang in there. We'll find them. And maybe they can help us. And Bruce nods to the locals Uh, meanwhile, miles, sly and Cliff are gathered around Switchblade. Cliff says There's no temple, just a cave entrance, and Miles admonishes him. Like, don't you think the cave entrance could be the way into the temple? there's some interplay between Sly and Cliff about Cliff's lack of intelligence. Miles does need to treat them better as a boss, but he also needs to get better employees.

PJ:

He

Adam:

Let's be honest.

PJ:

But let me ask you this question,'cause it just occurred to me, to Cliff's Point, how many temples do you know are in caves? And if you say the one from the last crusade, that's the only one you get. So how many temples are you aware of? Basically just cave entrances. Cliff might be like, look, it's a cave. It's not a temple.

Adam:

Based on the mask series, many temples appeared or lost cities

PJ:

Touche,

Adam:

appear to be in caves.

PJ:

you win, sir, you win. Also, where's the self-esteem of Sly and Cliff at, at this point in time that they take this kind of brutalization?'cause it's bad.

Adam:

Yeah, they've been beat down for sure. Miles tells them. After belittling them, we've got work to do. We're gonna blast our way into Ayers Rock, which right on venom, back to your old ways of blowing holes into mountains to get in. meanwhile, Matt goes to the indigenous leader and shows him a picture of Scott and the leader says the sky, God, but you have come too late to worship him. We have sealed him forever in the rock, and Matt says, you must release the boy. He isn't the sky God. He's my son.

PJ:

Okay. So I'm a little bit troubled by this.'cause again, the tagline say that TBOs

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

God, I.

Adam:

Right?

PJ:

now, the white boy has become the God. So once again, the criteria for becoming the sky God is to slide down Uluru on

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

I really think this is like a troublesome trope of the white person coming in to become the leader

Adam:

white.

PJ:

or

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

of the indigenous tribe.

Adam:

Quite literally the white savior

PJ:

Exactly.

Adam:

now Switchblade shows up and again, standard procedure for venom just opens fire on Uluru.

PJ:

they're a terrorist organization, so

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

I'll get behind on this one. Like this might be a standard

Adam:

Yeah,

PJ:

but like they don't give a rat's ass. Like they're just gonna destroy stuff

Adam:

A boulder from above falls and crushes Thunder Hawk, and, you know, again, back to boulders as the preferred weapon of venom. Hooray.

PJ:

effective.

Adam:

we're back. Baby. Uh, thunder Hawk is so damaged that Matt and Bruce can't even get to their masks. this is actually a really cool twist in the episode.

PJ:

I agree. It was so cool in so many ways because you don't have Thunder Hawk, you don't have their masks. to me it was just such a disappointment that we don't get to play it out even further. actually, what just occurred to me is interesting is that Mask knows that Venom is there. Venom actually doesn't know that mask is there this entire episode.

Adam:

Oh, that's true. That's a great point. They have not even identified masks yet.

PJ:

Yeah. We didn't have

Adam:

Excellent point,

PJ:

battle. Bruce and Matt, despite their loud laughing, have, managed to evade venom. So, I mean, they actually are operating in the shadows at this point in time.

Adam:

now they get in touch with Brad, and he's still 10 miles away, but he uses condors like, you know, super speed mach one ability to break the sound barrier on the ground and get to them right away. We've seen this before, haven't we?

PJ:

Yeah, it's a cool recall of a power. and they didn't make a point to be like, ah, I'm using super speed. But they just, used the animation. It was like, oh, nice

Adam:

Right? Brad arrives and he creates a hologram of Uluru transforming into a giant rock monster, which scares venom away, and then hilariously, he turns the rock monster on the indigenous Australians and says, release the sky, God from the temple. He has missions to perform in other places. Release him. Now I command you, and I just love that Brad's best play here in his mind is to scare the simple people.

PJ:

that's a good point. so now they believe in the Mimi even more,

Adam:

exactly.

PJ:

let's, add an additional aspect to their religion.

Adam:

He's violated the prime directive by adding new chapters to their ancient beliefs.

PJ:

yeah, because, because, uh, MASK has done a great job of not violating the prime directive with any

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

they've encountered.

Adam:

Well, Scott and t Bobb are released and Scott says, dad, we're okay. And t Bobb says, and in a new income tax bracket, so first no kid gets that joke. And two, Matt's a billionaire. So no matter what, treasure treasures in there, assuming they're keeping it by what Tbo said, it's not going to impact Matt's taxes. So just wanna put that out there.

PJ:

Also, Matt doesn't pay taxes.

Adam:

That is very true as well. one of the, uh, indigenous people says, my people are happy knowing that the giant Mimi sleeps inside the rock. So the indigenous leader takes the treasure back from T Bobb to return it to the temple. T Bobb asked Scott to loan him a nickel and everyone laughs.

PJ:

So I wanna be very clear. T Bob's disappointed because he was hoping to steal their treasures despite being awash in wealth. Like he

Adam:

yeah,

PJ:

more.

Adam:

yeah. And also, what did he need the nickel for? That's, that's just. Well, uproarious laughter fade to black and we cut to the more, you know, Scott is looking for his comb and t Bobb reaches up into a cabinet above the counter where a glass bottle of pills falls and shatters on the floor, this summons Matt, who says, T bobb, if you ever need anything from a medicine cabinet, ask an adult medicines can be dangerous. And uh, you know, especially if they're in non shatterproof glass bottles.

PJ:

cabinets are typically the bathroom. this really looks like a kitchen,

Adam:

Yeah,

PJ:

a bathroom, this is a palatial bathroom. it's just gigantic.

Adam:

I know.

PJ:

Adam, what was in that bottle that upset Matt so much? was it poison?

Adam:

Well, why would he keep poisoning around? How do you keep someone asleep after they've fallen in a ravine?

PJ:

Row hypno.

Adam:

Well, so that's, that's the lesson is, um, ask an adults for something from a medicine cabinet. that's the episode. Uh, let's take a look at our awards. I mean, the Buddy Hawks Award, this, that's what the name of this episode should be.

PJ:

Yeah. It really ought to be, uh, I mean, the writers rack up more for their lifetime achievement award very easily. Once again, n

Adam:

yeah, I mean, there's so many to, to even point out. I don't even know if we can

PJ:

with what exception I'm gonna get to, I mean, the characters, like where, whereas they're probably really subtly like, you know, interacting poorly with these guys don't have a whole lot of overt stuff. I mean, the writers basically just are, you know, trashed on the floor here. I will say the Bruce comment about the Mimi Show and then Matt laughing is probably the, the closest where it's kind of like the belittlement of the people, within the episode.

Adam:

yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go, uh, in that note. I'd say Brad with the Rock monster.

PJ:

Okay,

Adam:

Okay, how about the Sly Racks Ragdoll Award?

PJ:

I mean, really it's Scott and t Bobb, uh, slide in on Uluru, like to their

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

That to

Adam:

No, they're, I agreed a hundred percent RIP Scott and t Bobb. See you next episode. Father of the Year award. I think it's pretty obvious.

PJ:

yeah. Bringing Scott yet again to a dangerous place. Very

Adam:

Yeah. Finally, the Roy Batty moment of the episode.

PJ:

I really thought it was laughing at t. Bob's ineptitude with the boomerang. I mean, you're really

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

asking a lot to laugh at someone. They fuck up with a weapon. Like at what point in time

Adam:

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

PJ:

and just throw it at Matt?

Adam:

Agreed. they gotta stop laughing at Tee Bob's pain. Is this episode Panda Poo?

PJ:

Yeah. okay, we're back in this common trope of venom looking into some sort of lost treasure slash power. but I kept wondering, is the outback sun getting to everybody? Because everyone feels just a little lazy The stakes are

Adam:

Yeah.

PJ:

it's kind of bottom barrel for venom to be trying to rip off an indigenous people. so I'm not sure if they ran outta that Prime minister's money or that finance minister's money.

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

the CL plan's not as clever as we've seen before. Not even as clever as the plan we've seen last time we were in Australia and we get another bad depiction of the people of Australia. So overall, I'm killing this lazy panda poo

Adam:

I agree. there are no stakes for Venom here. we don't even really understand what it is they're going for. I don't believe Miles ever says there is a temple hidden in this rock that contains treasures beyond your wildest imagination. Like, just that alone would be fine. but he's also, by the way, not even putting the indigenous Australians in any danger. He's just. Using holograms to dupe them for me it's Poo because it's barely an episode of mask. I mean, note that the masks actually get trapped in a damaged thunder hawk, so they can't even use them. switchblade gets used with the lasers. Hocus pocus gets used, the mass computer gets used, but that's kind of it. So it's, it's panda poo. Now, we wanted to open up a new section of our episodes, kind of like the re writer's corner, to talk about, you know, where the episode goes wrong and how could it have been changed to make it go right.

PJ:

Here's the thing,

Adam:

Okay.

PJ:

just to toot some horns here for a second. Adam is an accomplished writer, both of games, and television.

Adam:

all of that is a lie Writer, yes. Accomplished, maybe not.

PJ:

He created the show, the Pinkertons. So that was

Adam:

Mm. Loved by dozens.

PJ:

Hey, more shows than I've made. wanna ask you a question. From a writer's standpoint.

Adam:

Mm-hmm.

PJ:

this, you've operated in this. So where does this episode go wrong?

Adam:

Yeah. Well, I mean, the very first thing you have to do, and I pointed this out in the poo section, is you have to like, what are the stakes? Here's how you can set up any episode of mask. Just the format venom threatens to blink. Unless blank, like right there. That's the first thing you need to know in a mask episode. So if we were to take today's episode and put it into that framework, venom threatens to nothing or else nothing like that's why this episode doesn't work because there is no venom plot here. and you pointed out the characters seem really lazy, especially masks seems very lazy. They're lazy'cause there's no urgency. And there's no urgency because there are no stakes to the episode. No one's in danger until the only time there are stakes are when

PJ:

I, I mean, when they're pounding on Uluru and Scott and tbo

Adam:

cut.

PJ:

in there. That's it.

Adam:

right. So Scott and t Bobb get trapped in there, and then suddenly the stakes are very high because Matt's son is in danger.

PJ:

I.

Adam:

of it had to do with Venom's plot. In fact, the reason that Scott and t Bobb are entombed beneath Uluru is because Matt decided to bring them along into the Australian Outback because he thought he'd be safer with them, right? So right there, it's like, well, Matt, you're incompetent. And again, going back to what we said at the beginning of this episode, we do love mask, but if we're gonna poke holes at it, Matt is incompetent in this episode, he brings them to this place. And the only stakes that matter are Scott and t Bobb, trapped Uluru. And it's, and it's his fault. I mean, those are two areas where the episode goes, very, very wrong. if I'm gonna go straight up, a typical episode of Mask Miles, threatens to blow up Uluru unless the indigenous Australians agree to show him the location of the hidden temple filled with treasure. Right. Okay. That is a little bit goofball, but it would work as a mask episode, right?

PJ:

Yeah. It's very akin to a great episode that we've talked about in the past. It's assault on liberty, But you're a hundred percent right that, let's create some kind of real stakes here that's important to the people on the ground.

Adam:

But that is it for episode 37. Episode 38 is coming up next.

PJ:

Yeah, a really important note. I did the math wrong last time, so I'll correct myself now. The next episode is the midpoint of the entire series. Um, so we've

Adam:

Crazy.

PJ:

up to this point in time. We've got 38 and then 37 more episodes after that. So after next episode, it's all downhill and we're

Adam:

crazy.

PJ:

a ton of new characters

Adam:

cannot wait to get into the new characters. It's gonna be a blast.

PJ:

that'll be awesome.

Adam:

rounding out the first half of the series is episode 38. The Curse of Solomon's Gorge Mask goes to Africa to stop venom. Who has discovered King Solomon's treasures?

PJ:

We're going back to the country of Africa.

Adam:

Oh, wonderful. Very good mask. you never failed to amaze us. looking forward to that one. Looking forward to having you join us, but for now, we have to transform and head back to hq. I am Adam Moore.

PJ:

And I am PJ McNerney.

Adam:

Bye-bye.

PJ:

Bye bye.

The mobile armored podcast show is written, produced and edited. Bye Adam Moore. And PJ McNerney.